The Carrot and the Stick

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Today we’re not going to talk so much about seduction as psychology.

Well, that isn’t true.

Seduction is all about psychology, so I guess, we’re going to talk about both.

First, a bit about donkeys…

How Are Donkeys Controlled?

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Donkeys are controlled through one of two methods:

  1. The carrot
  2. The stick

If the donkey does something you like, you give it a carrot.

If it does something you don’t like, you hit it with the stick.

Both methods are effective at getting donkeys to do what you want.

Humans, as many people will attest, are much like donkeys.

Positive and Negative Reinforcement

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In psychology, there are two terms I’d like to explain that are extremely important to seduction.

These work on humans just as well as on animals (I mean humans are animals, so does that really surprise you?).

Here they are:

  1. Positive reinforcement
  2. Negative reinforcement

Positive reinforcement is when you reward a behaviour you like to see.

An example is saying something like “good girl” to a girl who is fucking you passionately.

Negative reinforcement is when you punish a behaviour you don’t like to see.

An example is withdrawing your attention when a girl is being annoying to you.

These psychological techniques should be used LIBERALLY by you in your relationships.

You should reward behaviours that you like, and punish those you hate in order to create a partner that treats you according to your standards.

Behaviourism

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In behavioural psychology, there was a famous doctor named B.F. Skinner.

Here is a quote by him that we should take heed of:

“Give me a child and I’ll shape him into anything”

I don’t know if you’ve heard this statement before, but women are more similar to children than men are.

I don’t know if it is because society coddles women more or because of the fundamental differences in brain structures between men and women.

It is probably both.

I believe therefore, that operant conditioning works very well on women.

I mean, it works very well on men, but I think it works EVEN BETTER on women.

You should therefore reinforce behaviour from women you like seeing, and punish behaviours you dislike seeing.

You should do this with ACTION preferably, and not with words (especially punishment).

Disclaimer: I do NOT believe in corporal punishment of any sort. You should reinforce and punish through your attention (giving or withdrawing it). A man’s attention is extremely valuable to a woman, after all.

Women’s Frame in Long Term Relationships

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A woman’s frame in a long term relationship is that she is in control.

She should decide the direction of the relationship and everything that goes along with that.

Women believe that they should be the decision makers when it comes to clothes, decoration of the house, cars, sexual attention, activities, etc.

If you allow yourself to fall into this frame, you are lost.

I suggest you prevent the problem by avoiding monogamous live-in relationships entirely in favour of relationship strategies that favour men (FWB – friend with benefits, NMG – non-monogamous girlfriend, SNMG – serious non-monogamous girlfriend).

How Alphas Are Treated In Relationships vs. Betas/NPCs/Slaves

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In relationships, women naturally defer to alphas.

They tend to become naturally shy and submissive with men they really like.

Alphas get to do what they want in their relationships because of that.

Betas/Slaves/NPCs get no such luxury.

Women consider themselves to be above those men.

Because of this, NPCs get a whole list of rules for things they are “allowed” to do in relationships.

This is how you get the husbands that have to ask their wives permission to do anything they want to do, like they would their mommy at 6 years old.

How to Be In Control of A Relationship

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The simplest way to be in control of a relationship is to always hold the power to walk away.

When you are non-monogamous and actively exercising your options, you are never beholden to one girl.

Since none of them can control you, they compete with the other women in your life for dominance (to be your favourite).

They will defer to you in everything, as women know on an instinctual level that alpha men love to be followed.

You can then dole out punishments and rewards as you see fit, depending on the behaviour of the women in your life.

Reward what you like to see (by giving attention and affection), and punish what you don’t (by withdrawing your attention and going cold).

Which Should You Use? Carrot or Stick?

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According to psychology textbooks, the most effective form of behavioural control is reward.

This means that praise/compliments/affection/love are excellent things to use when you see behaviour that you like.

You should ACTIVELY AVOID showing any of these kinds of behaviours if you see behaviour you don’t like.

Punishment is less effective, especially punishment related to fear, according to those same textbooks.

People are much more likely to rebel against a despot.

This is why I recommend withdrawing attention, as opposed to hitting or yelling.

Some women actually interpret hitting or yelling as love (as fucked up as that sounds), and will be encouraged if you do those things.

When you remove yourself from a situation, you give no attention, something that women crave on a biological level from alphas.

The best technique for that is the “soft next”. 

Basically, you stop talking to her entirely, and ignore her totally for one week no matter what she says or does.

Even if she messages you 55 times, you continue to ignore.

It is extremely important that you exercise your ability to use both the carrot and the stick.

When women know that you reward good behaviour and punish the bad, they are much more likely to behave in ways that you consider extremely pleasant.

They then contribute positively to your life.

Everything in Life is About Sex, Except for Sex. Sex is About Power.

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All of man-woman relations boil down to sexual relations.

Sexual relations are entirely based on power relations.

This is why women play power games (shit tests).

You hold ultimate power as a man when you have the ability to exercise your options.

No matter how amazing the girl you’re with is, no matter how sexy, or fun, you NEVER cede your ultimate power.

Like the myth of Samson, once your hair is cut, you are nothing.

You’ll notice that by always exercising your power, you also will have the good fortune to be rewarded with good girl behaviour.

Conclusion

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The carrot and the stick are extremely important concepts when it comes to relationships.

Women tend to wield carrot and stick power over their beta slaves and alpha men tend to wield carrot or stick power over their lovers.

Hold power by always retaining the ability to exercise your options.

Once you have it, use your power judiciously.

Reward behaviour you like to see (with positive attention and love) and punish behaviour you don’t like to see (with withdrawal of attention).

Avoid hitting and yelling, as many women see those as positive attention (even though you might see it as negative attention).

Be wise in the use of your power and watch your results soar!

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions

You’re an Asshole for Implying that Girls Are Donkeys Helios!

Where is your reading comprehension?

I said donkeys are SIMILAR to humans.

Oh right, you’re just being deliberately inflammatory.

Here, let me demonstrate the advice in this article.

Ignore women like this.

At A Party, My Brother and His Wife Said They Have A 50/50 Relationship, Who Rewards Who in That Case?

Anytime a woman says she’s in a 50/50 relationship, she is with a BETA.

She’s making the rules.

A 50/50 relationship does not exist, and that a man would agree to that frame means he’s a beta by DESIGN.

Should I Punish Or Reward More?

Ideally, you’re with women that really like you.

This means that you’ll likely reward more than punish.

Punishment occurs when there is rare drama (your girl complaining about your non-monogamy), crying at you, shouting at you, etc.

Withdraw attention in that case, and don’t turn it into a shouting contest.

I Hate When A Woman Controls the Relationship, How Can I Be In Control Instead?

You can be in control instead by being non-monogamous and constantly exercising your other options.

When no woman has a hold on you, you hold the power in all of your relationships.

You can then punish and reward behaviours as you see fit.

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