Many men just want to get laid (I know I do). They don’t want the overhead of having to spend time with a girlfriend.
Our lives are too busy and our dreams are too big at the moment to entertain a GF.
The problem is that many men have no idea how to get a girl into this kind of relationship.
They only have the advice of their friends, or their mom, who are clueless when it comes to seduction.
Guess what?
Getting a friend with benefits is easy once you know how!
Ask me how I know.
Follow the steps in this guide and you’ll snag yourself an awesome FWB too through online dating!
Here we go, just 9 steps…
Part 1 – Getting Girls on the Date
Step 1 – Sign Up for Online Dating
I know, I know. Losers everywhere say that online dating doesn’t work.
Guess what? It does. You just need to do it right!
You need to sign up for every online dating service that works in your area.
Here is a list of a bunch of online dating sites that have worked well for me in the past:
- Tinder
- Bumble
- Plenty of Fish
- Coffee Meets Bagel
- OKCupid
- Hinge
- Happn
- Tagged
Buy the subscription for tinder platinum, bumble and POF, trust me.
Download an auto-swiping app.
This lets you swipe on all the girls that become available every day, without having to waste time.
Step 2 – Create Your Online Dating Profile
For Tinder, you need some cute joke profile text, something short and funny. You can easily find these online, same with Bumble.
For POF, OKCupid, Tagged, Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel you’re going to need a few long paragraphs about yourself that are well written and funny. You can also find these online.
You change them to suit you.
For your pictures:
- Use only 3 pictures. Each of them must be of you in different environments, ideally not posed and with you being natural.
- You should be wearing and doing different things in each picture, but they all must be very high quality. If your pictures are garbage, you’re done.
- Get an amateur photographer to take these pictures, pay him if you have to.
Your pictures are 80% of your success for online dating.
Example amazing tinder picture:
Step 3 – Send Messages to Women You’ve Matched With
The initial message you send online should not be the same one that every other guy sends.
Don’t just message “hey” or “what’s up”. These will not work.
If you have a call to action and you sign at the end, it will work wonders. Try it!
Example:
“Hey *their name*, you seem fun 🙂 You should message me! – *Your Name*”
It really is as simple as this. You need to put in the numbers, however. You’re not going to set up a meet only messaging 10 girls.
Use the shotgun approach. Send your message to every girl you match with that you find attractive.
Many women will not reply.
Fear not, this is normal!
Step 4 – Set Up the Meet as Soon as Possible
Many men screw up this step!
They get into a conversation with a girl they find attractive and they keep talking, and talking and talking…
Guess what?
Talking does not lead to FWB! To get a FWB, you need to meet in person!
You have to pitch the first meet within 3 messages!
If she does not agree to meet with you in person after three messages, she was a timewaster who had no intentions of ever meeting you.
Congratulations, if a girl stops messaging at this point in the process, you weeded out a girl that would never be your FWB. Rejoice!
Spend your time on options that are actually interested enough to meet immediately.
Example text exchange:
You: You seem cool ______ 🙂 You should message me! – Your Name
Her: Your Name, you seem cool too!
You: Thanks! If you were stranded on a desert island alone, what would be two things that you would bring with you? I have some good guesses, but I’m sure you know better 🙂
Her: I would bring my dog and a first aid kit.
You: Super cool! We should totally meet up 🙂 How about we meet at *insert place here* at *insert time here*. We’ll go for a chill walk/drink/hangout.
Her: Sure! See you then!
You: Great! Text me at (111) 222 3333
Her: Sure
Notice how I asked for her number after she agreed to meet. This is very important.
Women prefer you pitch the meet first and then ask for their number later online.
They’re less freaked out this way, as giving her number is too personal too quickly.
Part 2 – Dating Strategies
Step 5 – Never Get Sexual on the First Date
Guys incorrectly assume that since they got that pretty girl to meet up that they should try to immediately get sexual with her on the first date.
I mean Tinder is a hookup app right?
I’m telling you that unless your first date lasts 9 hours (which it never should), you aren’t getting laid on the first date.
In fact, trying to get sexual on the first date almost never leads to a FWB!
Counterintuitive right? Often, if you do sleep with a girl on the first date, it will be a one night stand (ONS), and she’ll be gone.
So when Helios, do I get sexual?
Wait a second.
The first step is to do the first date correctly.
Your first date should be no longer than an hour.
Establishing rapport should be the only goal of your first date.
You want her to feel that warm, tingly feeling she gets when she’s with a new guy she likes. The second she feels it, you end the date.
NO KISSING on the first date either!
Now she wants more!
DO NOT text her the same day of the first date, unless she texts first! Wait until the next morning (9 or 10am is fine).
Step 6 – Finally, We Get to Sex
You text her the next day after you had your first date. Schedule your second date the same way as the first, making sure the second date is scheduled for 1-3 days after the first date.
You should ask her to come to your place for the second date.
Talk about how you’re going to watch a movie together, or cook some food, or play music. Whatever it is that you do at home that’s cool.
Don’t talk about sex through text, ever.
When she gets to your place, don’t be weird. Have good logistics already set up for sex to occur.
You want your apartment or house to be relatively clean and you want the activity you had planned together to be set up.
Once you start your activity and things are going well, you escalate sexually.
Kiss her and then move further, making sure you’re paying attention to her body language.
If she’s receptive, keep going.
If not, you can slow it down, and try later.
Generally, if she comes to your place, agreeing to be alone together, and you’ve only been on one date, she is signalling interest in sex with you.
Again, watch her body language. If she’s closed and not receptive, obviously, more rapport is required.
If you do have sex, make sure you try and make her orgasm!
In general, for most women, they achieve orgasm best through clitoral stimulation.
Your partner may be different. Experiment and see what works. It is very important!
DO NOT let her spend the night.
That will not lead to a FWB, but a NMG (a non-monogamous girlfriend). You’re looking for a FWB here, right?
Once you’ve slept together once, congratulations, the hardest step to FWB is done.
It isn’t over yet, however.
Step 7 – Getting to Sex a Second Time
The day after you’ve had sex with a girl the first time, make it extremely clear through text that you had a great time!
You want to let your girl know that you enjoyed her company and want to see her again.
Do NOT be explicit in your text about you two having sex yesterday. Talk about how you enjoyed your time together.
Once again, you want to schedule a meet at your place.
Give a different activity that you could do together, and pitch it for 1-3 days from the day you texted her.
Again, it could be cooking something together, playing music, board games, whatever.
Once she comes over to your palace, do exactly what you did the first time you had sex.
Once you’ve had sex a second time, and you’ve made sure that she orgasms, congratulations, only one more step is required!
Part 3 – Maintaining a FWB Arrangement
Step 8 – Maintaining a FWB frame
Once you have slept with a girl twice, you need to maintain a FWB frame. This means that you cannot do the things that boyfriends (BFs) do.
The first step to doing this is knowing how to text.
After you have had sex twice, your texts should only be weekly, and only for logistics.
This means you only text to ask her to come to your place to do some activity, with the understanding that it will lead to sex.
Always ask her to come over to do some activity, and never ask her directly to come for sex.
Once you have had sex, she cannot spend the night.
You continue in exactly this fashion until she asks to define the relationship, or she leaves you.
If she does ask you to define the relationship, tell her this:
“I like how things are going, and I would like things to continue as they are. I think we’re great together.”
You never talk about other girls you’re seeing or your arrangement. You just keep messaging her to come to your place, with the implicit understanding of what’s going on.
Congratulations, you have a successful FWB! Now do all of the previous steps two more times in order to get two more 🙂
You now have a successful polyamorous lifestyle! All you need to do now is not get jealous when she sleeps with other men!
You don’t care right? You have other girls!
Step 9 – Boomerang
Many girls, after some months of FWB, and you not wanting to be their boyfriend will ghost you without drama, and go get a boyfriend, or whatever.
You should NEVER chase them.
If they tell you they’ve found a boyfriend, or don’t want to see you for whatever reason, your reply through text should be no reply.
Wait 4-6 months and text them again like nothing happened. She will boomerang back to you and continue the FWB like nothing happened.
Often, something went wrong with the boyfriend.
Humans are not monogamous, so don’t worry. She’ll be back!
Conclusion
Getting a FWB from online dating is easy once you know how.
Keep these things in mind:
- Your pictures are 80% of your success online.
- Don’t get sexual on the first date
- Once you’ve had sex twice, text her only once per week, for logistics
- If she leaves, don’t worry, she’ll boomerang back in 4-6 months!
Keep in mind the hardest part of creating a FWB arrangement is sleeping with a girl the first time two times. Once that has happened, it is relatively smooth sailing.
Keep these things in mind, and go create a beautiful polyamorous lifestyle for yourself!
Good luck!
-Helios
The Helios Blog 