A lot of men suffer greatly due to our culture.
Since our culture teaches us the myth of “the one”, many men suffer at the end of a relationship.
Oftentimes, it feels like our whole world is ending when a relationship ends, since the way that many men are taught is to worship women.
When the object of mens’ affection is removed (and the only source of sex), men become miserable.
Luckily for you, I’m here to help.
Here is what to do once your “perfect” relationship ends.
Understand that More and Better Exists Out There
Because of the false teachings of modern culture, many men lament over the loss of that one perfect girl for them.
The truth is, however, that there is NO ONE.
There are MANY women out there that would make you very happy.
There are literally thousands of women right now that would be exceptionally happy to be with a man like you, with your specific talents and personality.
You do not have to fixate on THAT ONE.
Rest easy, more women will come.
What people in your life try to hide from you is this fact:
Where there is one, there is more than one.
I’m sure many of you have noticed that when you’re with a girl, she assumes that other women are into you.
That is because it is TRUE!
She fears her competition, and tries to convince you that she is special (as do all of your beta friends, and relatives).
This could not be further from the truth.
Delete Everything of Hers
In that vein, once your relationship is over, it is time to DELETE everything.
You want NO REMINDERS of her at all.
You’re trying to start fresh, and you don’t need beta reminders of her everywhere.
All those pictures of her on your phone? Delete them.
All of your beautiful, perfect couple pictures? Delete them.
Things that she has given you as gifts which have sentimental value?
Get rid of them.
She’s GONE.
Good riddance.
Once you have removed the mental reminders, it’s time for the next step.
Go No-Contact
NEVER contact her again.
Block her everywhere, and delete her number.
You want no chance of her messing with your head, or of you being tempted to go for her again.
Absolutely NO CONTACT, especially if it was a bad breakup.
She has proven that she is low value, why would you ever entertain her in your life again?
DO NOT EVER message her again.
As far as you’re concerned, she’s on Mars now.
Spend your time focusing on yourself instead, and pursuing other women.
Establish Yourself as the Centre Point of Your Own Life
Many men, especially those that have had a bad breakup, have ended up in that place because they were no longer the centre of their own lives.
They made the girl they were with the most important thing in their life and supplicated to her endlessly.
That needs to end now.
Even if it feels selfish, you have to establish YOURSELF as the centre of your own life and no-one else.
No-one deserves to be given higher priority in your life than you.
You need to focus on yourself and your own development.
Once you are self-centred in this way, you will feel the pressure of the old relationship relax.
Hit the Gym
A lot of men, especially those coming out of bad relationships let everything fall off.
They stop exercising and being the badass they were before the relationship.
This of course, eases your partner’s competition anxiety, but also makes you a total beta slob.
We are not aiming for being a slob, we are aiming for greatness.
Start going to a gym (to lift weights), or a martial arts/boxing gym.
You need a regular routine established of working out at least four times a week.
The workouts need to be so intense that you can barely move afterwards.
With a nice, more healthy body, you will find that you relax, and your confidence increases.
This will help a lot in the future, when you’re going to begin your journey of establishing multiple FWBs/NMGs.
Re-establish Contact With the Friends You May Have Been Ignoring
A lot of men, in their relationships, allow the other people in their life who are important to them to fall off.
They stop contacting their friends and stop spending quality time with anyone except their girlfriend.
This cuts off any support you might have had, which would have prevented you from sinking this low.
You need to re-contact the people who you have allowed to drop off, as you need a network of people who care about you.
Having a support system helps to establish the secure base from which you can take risks.
Risk taking is an extremely important trait of alpha males.
You will see that once you cut the girl off, work out regularly, and re-establish contact with your friends, you’ll begin to feel much better, though you may be suffering from lack of sex.
This brings us to our next point.
Learn Some Game
Many men coming off of bad relationships got into a bad relationship in the first place because they were NPCs.
They followed the societal script of what they were supposed to do and got burnt because of it.
If that is you, the problem is that you had no knowledge of game.
You’re lucky.
This blog has that information.
You’re going to have to learn the basics of game in order to be competitive and have the skills needed in order to establish a roster of women with which you’re having regular sex.
This likely means a change of personality, life outlook, appearance and other life-changing events are on the horizon.
It also means more pain and struggle.
I know, I’m sorry.
Ultimately, making the changes in your life that you need to make after the pain of a breakup are going to take even more pain and struggle.
You’ll see though, that once you come out the other side, you’ll never be the same again.
Work on yourself and the results WILL come.
I at least will not lie to you.
Decide to Not Be Monogamous Again
Time for a paradigm shift.
The whole reason that many men enter into shitty relationships in the first place is that they allow women to grab them by the balls.
A woman has the most control over you when she has control of your sex drive.
Because men on average need more sex than woman, women can employ the tactic of sexual denial to control your behaviour.
Many women do once the honeymoon phase of your relationship is over (6 months – 3 years).
If you never allow yourself to be monogamous, no girl will ever hold that power over you again.
Both of you will know that you can immediately leave at any point towards your other options if you aren’t happy.
Thus, it puts the ball in your court.
Women have to respect you and treat you well and if they don’t, you can easily, without loss of sex, move on to other women and simply replace the woman who was disrespecting you.
A lot of bad relationships could simply be prevented through the strategy of non-monogamy.
It is hard to do for many men, however, because it goes against their programming.
You have to resist the brainwashing in order to be free of your shackles I’m afraid.
Cultivate Three Concurrent FWB/NMG’s
Once you have decided in earnest that you won’t be monogamous, you need to establish THREE concurrent women that you’re seeing.
These women should be in FWB (friend with benefits) or NMG (non-monogamous relationship) arrangements with you.
With three concurrent women, if one leaves for whatever reason, you’re still not monogamous.
It buys you time to replace the girl you’ve lost as well.
The level of happiness you’ll feel once you have established three concurrent women is hard to describe.
Just having the freedom to know that no girl has you by the balls is amazing!
Any time a girl tries to get you to fall into her frame, you hold the nuclear option of simply walking away, while not losing access to sex.
Having multiple women concurrently is an extremely effective tactic that will save you YEARS of suffering.
Something cool is that the women who leave you often boomerang back (after 4 months or so) since you were the only guy who didn’t bend.
Once you have a network of several women who are in on-again, off-again non-monogamous relationships with you, the sex part of your life will be handled.
You never have to worry about it again!
Amazing, right?
Live Happily Ever After
Once you have a roster of women, that one bad breakup will mean NOTHING to you.
You can rest on your laurels, knowing that that bad relationship was the push you needed in order to change yourself and your life for the better.
Thoughts of “the one” will be non-existent in your mind as you realize that there are many women that you could be happy with.
You will feel a sense of freedom that you’ve probably never felt before.
Options are power.
Conclusion
In this article, we talked about how to get over a bad breakup.
There are several things to do, and they will all build towards that goal.
Mostly, the strategies here will help you to put yourself at the centre of your life, as well as to decouple your access to sex from one woman.
Here is a review of the list again:
- Understand that more and better exists out there
- Delete everything of hers
- Go no-contact
- Establish yourself as the centre of your own life
- Hit the gym
- Re-establish contact with friends you had before
- Learn some game
- Decide to not be monogamous again
- Develop a roster of three concurrent FWB/NMGs
- Live happily ever after
Once you have done these things, you can truly be free!
Work hard!
-Helios
Frequently Asked Questions:
She Gave Me A Really Nice Vacuum, I Don’t Want to Toss It!
It’s your life.
I’m telling you that the objects that you associate with her should be discarded so that your mind has as few reminders as possible.
What you do with that knowledge is up to you.
Do I Really Have to Work Out?
Yes!
No fat slobs have harems of women, come on!
What If the Girl I Was With Was Just A Bitch, and I Haven’t Found the Right One Yet?
Women aren’t bitches for taking advantage.
Men are losers for allowing themselves to be taken advantage of.
If it wasn’t her, it would have been another girl who would have used you, since YOU were the problem.
You need to change yourself on some fundamental level to prevent those problems from occurring again.
Try non-monogamy.
I promise it will help!
I Don’t Have Time For Three Girlfriends, What the Hell, Helios?
Neither do I!
That’s why I recommend 1 NMG and 2 FWBs. You could also do 3 FWBs.
Usually I have 3 FWBs, since I’m more detached as a person.
That choice is up to you!
The Helios Blog 