How to Get an SNMG (Serious Non-Monogamous Girlfriend)

Many men want an SNMG.

They want a relationship with a woman that is more serious than casual dating or sleeping around.

Luckily for you, I know the steps and am willing to share!

Let me show you how it’s done…

What is an SNMG?

First of all, let’s define what an SNMG is.

An SNMG is a serious non-monogamous girlfriend.

She is a girl you can bring around to parties, to your parent’s house, etc.

You and her are NOT monogamous, however.

You are free to pursue as many other women as you like and she knows.

She is also permitted to see other men as well.

Rules for an SNMG

In an SNMG arrangement, both of you are allowed to see other people.

There are a few rules that need to be put in place, however.

Here they are:

1. The “other people” you both see are for SEX ONLY
2. They cannot spend serious date time with those people, and neither can you

Helios, you’re a fucking cuck, how can you allow your girl to sleep with other men?

The beautiful power of having multiple women is that they become replaceable.

I don’t have the time or inclination to police the personal time of all my girls.

As a result, I don’t give a shit what they do when they’re not around.

You shouldn’t either.

If she starts dating some other guy seriously while claiming she’s your girlfriend, you can simply downgrade her and move on, no hard feelings.

You lose no access to sex by doing this, and your happiness will remain relatively stable.

SNMGs are amazing arrangements for men (as compared to traditional LTRs or marriages).

Steps to Get an SNMG

Here are the steps to getting an SNMG.

You MUST follow each of these, as they allow you to gauge her behaviour over the long term.

You should NEVER get into an SNMG right away, it should take a minimum of 6-9 months.

Another suggestion I have is that you should NOT consider an SNMG until you’re at least 35 years old.

You will not have the experience to properly judge behaviour or the emotional control needed in order to make the correct moves until then.

Ok, here are the steps:

1. Get her as a FWB (friend with benefits)
2. Hold her as a FWB until she asks to define the relationship (around 3 months)
3. If she has exceptional behaviour, you have “the talk” with her. If she survives, she’s upgraded to NMG (non-monogamous girlfriend)
4. Hold her in an NMG for 3 months or so, gauging her behaviour. If she is amazing after 3-6 more months, you can consider upgrading her.
5. Upgrade her to SNMG (serious non-monogamous girlfriend) status
6. Gauge her behaviour in SNMG for 6 months. If she’s amazing in this arrangement, keep her there, otherwise, downgrade back to NMG or FWB again
7. This is for a very small quantity of you stupid enough to get married. If you really want to, and have all the pre-planning in place, you could upgrade her to an OM (open marriage), I DO NOT ENDORSE THIS.

FWB Phase

The FWB phase marks the beginning of any relationship. 

Most men say that this is the best part of a relationship, before anything is defined.

I am inclined to agree.

For the most part, before anything is defined, you just meet up and have sex.

During this phase, you’ll be able to judge her personality.

Here are some red flags to look out for (that disqualify her for anything past FWB):

1. Has a party girl past
2. Has done any kind of drug other than cigarettes/casual marijuana
3. Mas many tattoos (more than 10)
4. Has kids from a previous relationship
5. Has bi-polar disorder
6. Has serious depression
7. Has BPD (borderline personality disorder)
8. Has schizophrenia
9. Owns a pit-bull or other attack dog
10. Claims to have been raped/abused in the past
11. Has incredibly bitchy/entitled behaviour

For me personally, if it comes out that the girl has some serious illness or sketchy past, I will often move on, so as to prevent drama in my future (even if the sex is great).

You will want to fish for information in the FWB phase to determine if she has any of these red flags so that you can end the relationship before anything seriously bad happens to you.

Often, women will simply volunteer this information if you let them talk for long enough.

That is why it’s important to let her do most of the talking, especially early in your interactions.

“The Talk”

After around three months of FWB, many women will want to define the relationship.

She’ll ask you some kind of question like “what are we?”.

You then answer depending on what you want:

1. I like how things are going/I want things to remain as they are (if you want the FWB to continue)
2. You’re someone very special to me (if you want an NMG)
3. I think it’s time we go our separate ways (if you want it to end)

You’re also going to have to explain to a girl, if you want her as an NMG, the kind of man you are.

Most women will assume that you want to be monogamous when you say something like #2.

You’re going to have to tell them that you’re a man that will never be monogamous and if that’s what she’s looking for, she can find it in another man.

You should also tell her that you won’t be controlling her behaviour and so, if she wants to sleep with other men, she is free to do so, she can do what she wants.

NMG Phase

You simply meet up with your girl, and do activities together that you wouldn’t do with a FWB.

You can:

1. Have her sleep over
2. Cook together
3. Watch movies together
4. Hang out with your friends and bring her along
5. Go on “event dates”, like hikes, museums, etc.

There are some things you should NEVER do with an NMG.

Here is a list (DO NOT DO THESE THINGS):

1. Text her all the time
2. Tell her you love her
3. Buy her expensive gifts
4. Buy her a plane ticket if you’re travelling together
5. Have her meet your parents
6. Have a kid with her

These are things you DO NOT do with an NMG, but you can do with an SNMG.

If you see things are going well for a 6 month period or so, you can then think about upgrading her from NMG to SNMG (if that’s what you want).

When I say going well, I mean that she worships you.

She treats you EXTREMELY well, and is NEVER bitchy or complains about her “situation”

It will then be time for a second talk.

The “Second Talk”

In the “second talk”, you should talk about how you really like how things are going and would like to be more serious.

You will then explain the rules:

1. No seriously dating anyone else
2. Other people are for sex only

You can then start to do the things that “traditional” boyfriends do.

You can do things like:

1. Tell her you love her (VERY OCCASIONALLY)
2. Buy her expensive gifts (VERY OCCASIONALLY)
3. Buy her a plane ticket
4. Have her meet your parents
5. Have a kid with her (you need to have a parenting plan in place before this signed by a notary)

There are still some things you should NEVER DO with an SNMG

Here’s a list (DO NOT DO THESE THINGS):

1. Text her all the time
2. Live together (she CANNOT spend more than 3 days back to back at your place per week)
3. Get married
4. Get common-law married (if you live in a common law state)

SNMG Phase

Just because a girl is in the SNMG phase with you does NOT mean she gets to relax.

You should CONSTANTLY be watching her behaviour.

ANY time she shows you disrespectful behaviour, you immediately withdraw attention (for 1 week).

If she is at your place when she does it, you kindly ask her if she wants to be taken home.

On the way home, you DO NOT engage or argue, SHUT UP and don’t talk to her at all for a week.

She will get the message that disrespectful behaviour is not tolerated.

Upgrading or Downgrading Women’s Relationship Status Based on Behaviour

In any kind of relationship arrangement you’re in, you upgrade or downgrade based on behaviour.

If she is being kind and respectful and treating you well, you upgrade.

If she’s in an NMG with you, 2 instances of disrespectful behaviour warrants a downgrade.

If she’s in an SNMG with you, 3 instances of disrespectful behaviour warrants a downgrade.

But Helios, what if we have a kid together?

In your parenting plan, you have a pre-agreed upon quantity of child support.

That is what will happen should she step out of line too much.

You will leave, with no drama and begin to make those payments.

She knew the kind of man she was getting involved with.

If she’s willing to explode the relationship over disrespectful behaviour let her, it is no loss to you.

Conclusion

As you can see, getting an SNMG involves constantly assessing the behaviour of the girl you’re with.

She cannot reach an SNMG relationship with you without good behaviour and attitude expressed over the long term.

It is up to HER to choose how she behaves around you and for YOU to judge whether she is worthy or not.

She is ALWAYS being scrutinized, and bad behaviour must be punished.

Operant conditioning is key.

Stay strong and prosper!

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions

What is an SNMG?

It is a serious non-monogamous girlfriend.

The outside world will see her as your girlfriend.

She is a girl that you have assessed extensively and she has demonstrated that she is solid for a long time (6-9 months).

I’m 24 and I’ve Met an Amazing Girl, I Think I Want Her to Be My SNMG!

You’re too young bro.

You don’t have the life experience to know if she’s good enough yet.

At your age, I recommend only FWB and NMG relationships arrangements.

Anything more serious is likely going to hinder your long term goals.

I Really Don’t Want to Have This Girl as My Girlfriend, But I Really Like the Sex, What Do I Do?

First of all, that’s a good problem to have.

Kudos!

Don’t say anything at all until she asks to define the relationship.

When she does, simply tell her that you like how things are going and would like them to stay as they are.

If she leaves at that point, no problem, you have other girls!

I Want to Go On Vacation With My FWB, But She Doesn’t Have the Money for the Ticket, Can I Buy it For Her?

NEVER buy expensive shit for your FWB like this.

ALso, you shouldn’t be doing stuff this serious with a FWB anyway.

FWBs are for fucking.

NMGs and SNMGs are for vacations.

If she doesn’t have worthy enough behaviour to be an NMG, don’t go with her on this vacation.