Why You’re In the Friendzone, How to Break Out and 5 Steps to Turn that Girl into Your FWB

Helios, woe is me, I’m in the friendzone, what will I ever do?

Does this sound like you?

I’m here to help!

Many guys struggle with the friendzone (or the provider zone, or the beta zone).

I’m here to teach you how to never be put in that box again.

But first, let me explain why you’re in that box in the first place.

Let’s go on a journey to the land of alpha and beta…

Alt text: A guy hugging a girl that just had a baby, with another guy. Oh god don’t let this ever be you…

Why You’re In the Friendzone 

Part 1 – The Different Kinds of Men 

There are three kinds of men: 

  1. Alphas
  2. Betas
  3. Undesirables (Omegas)

Let’s talk a bit about each one of these, so you understand why the friendzone is even a thing.


Alphas are the kings of the male hierarchy, women want them and men want to be them.

They are the winners.

Often they are attractive and non-needy. 

Alphas impose their will on situations and are usually charismatic. 

Alphas will often have multiple women, or at least, multiple women are interested in them.

These guys are quite experienced with women and can keep their cool around them, for the most part.

Alphas are risk takers and for the most part don’t fear rejection.

To women, alphas are extremely attractive.


Betas are second-in-line in terms of the male hierarchy.

They are often quite intelligent, but clueless when it comes to behaviour around women.

They are often inexperienced and risk averse.

They have the ability to be alpha with some practice usually.

To women, betas are almost attractive. 

Some women settle for betas, but don’t enjoy the experience (duty sex anyone?).

Undesirables (Omegas):

These men are such losers in terms of sexual dynamics that they literally don’t exist to women.

They might as well be invisible.

Undesirables sometimes have debilitating conditions which make them unable to be even somewhat attractive (and it is a crying shame that they’re never given a chance), or they’ve given up on life, such that they’ve let everything go, and thus are not competitive in any way, in any field.

If you fall into the omega category, know that it isn’t impossible to get out, it is simply MORE effort than for a beta.

Alt text: The three types of men. Alphas, betas and omegas. Top, close to top, and losers.

Part 2 – The Type of Man that Gets Put in the Friend Zone

Only one category of man gets put in the friend zone: The Beta

Alphas get put in the sex or date zone immediately, but betas just missed the mark with that girl, for whatever reason.

As a result, she holds the guy as a backup, but he was never in the actual running to have sex with her.

What this means is the following:

If you are in the friendzone, you were just not alpha enough for that particular girl. You almost met her alpha criteria, but not quite.

There is a huge problem here for men. 

The problem is this:

If you are put in the friendzone, there is less than a 10% chance you can break out.

Once a woman has categorized you as a beta. You’re done. You have practically no sexual chance with that girl.

There is a silver lining to this, however:

If you are constantly being put in the friendzone by multiple women, it means that you’re NOT in the undesirable category.

You are desirable, you simply need to change a few behaviours to be put in the datezone/sexzone (alpha category) instead.

Let me show you how!

Alt text: This is Freddy Mercury. If you had his inspirational godly confidence, you’d be an alpha too!

Part 3 – Comparing Alphas and Betas

Before I show you how to break out of the friendzone, let me put some alpha and beta behaviours side by side to show you how they’re different.

Keep in mind that when you do beta behaviours, you signal to a woman that you’re almost good enough for her sexzone. 

If you’re beta, you’d be a good provider for her later, when she’s sick of all that alpha dick.

Sound like something you want? I didn’t think so!

Here are some typical beta traits (things to avoid at all costs):

  1. Getting stuck on one specific girl
  2. Being timid
  3. Being overly available
  4. Kissing up to women
  5. Doing whatever a woman tells them
  6. Texting the girl he likes all the time
  7. Spending too much non-sexual time with women they like
  8. Talking to women about their guy troubles
  9. Doing no exercise
  10. Being overly emotional
  11. Having no life or real hobbies

Here are some typical alpha traits, by contrast:

  1. Sleeping with multiple women
  2. Being confident
  3. Being unavailable (including emotionally)
  4. Is who he is, regardless of the woman he’s with
  5. Does what he wants to do, regardless of what the woman he’s with wants
  6. Not being available to text except for logistics
  7. Spending his time having sex with women he likes
  8. Does not talk to a girl about her guy problems
  9. Exercises frequently (at the gym or a good martial arts/boxing dojo)
  10. Is unemotional/stoic
  11. Lives a fulfilling, great life 

So, how do you break out of the friendzone?

That is an interesting question…

Alt text:I don’t always get friendzoned, but when I do, I get benefits. -Dos Equis 🙂

Breaking Out of the Friendzone

I have bad news.

If a woman has put you in the friendzone, you only have a 10% chance of success.

But it CAN work.

Here are the steps to breaking out of the friendzone…

Alt text: A jacked dude bending the bars of the cage he’s in. Perhaps he doesn’t want to be a beta anymore?

Step 1 to Breaking Out of the Friendzone – Ghost the Girl You Want to Fuck for 6 Months


Helios, you just said I get to sleep with her, what do you mean I have to ghost her?

Right now, my son, you’re in the friendzone.

She needs time to forget about you.

The first step to breaking out of the friendzone is ghosting the girl you want to sleep with for at least 6 months.

NEVER contact her, even if she texts you. NO CONTACT. None.

And now, it begins, the hard part…

Step 2 to Breaking Out of the Friendzone – Work on Yourself

Wait, what?

I thought Helios, that there was an easy way to break out of the friendzone!

There is.

Once you’ve been friendzoned, just go sleep with another girl. You have a much better chance at sex with a new woman, who you can make a better impression on. 

Just cut your losses.

But if you really want that one, you’re going to have to improve yourself.

All of those beta things you were doing with that one special girl?

You need to train yourself to never do those again.

Here is that list again.

List of behaviors to DELETE:

  1. Getting stuck on your one special girl
  2. Being timid
  3. Being overly available
  4. Kissing up to her
  5. Doing whatever she tells you
  6. Texting her all the time
  7. Spending too much non-sexual time with her
  8. Talking about her guy troubles with her
  9. Doing no exercise
  10. Being overly emotional
  11. Having no life or real hobbies

You have to delete all your bad habits! Here’s a list of what to replace them with…

You replace those behaviours with:

  1. Sleeping with multiple women
  2. Being confident
  3. Being unavailable (including emotionally)
  4. Being who you are, regardless of what women want
  5. Doing what you want to do, regardless of what women want
  6. Not being available to text except for logistics
  7. Spending your time having sex with women you like
  8. Not ever talking about her guy troubles with her
  9. Exercising frequently (at the gym or a good martial arts/boxing dojo)
  10. Being unemotional/stoic
  11. Living a fulfilling great life 

6 months later, you message that one special girl again.

If you’ve worked on all the areas in the alpha category, congratulations, you’re no longer the beta she knew.

At this point, you probably have a roster of 2-3 other women that you’re sleeping with that see you as their amazing alpha. Congrats. The confidence that instills in a man is amazing!

This brings me to the next part! The true hard part of breaking out of the friendzone…

Alt text: That one special girl. The one you’d do anything for that friendzoned you. Time to break out!

Step 3 to Breaking Out of the Friendzone – Fighting her Frame

You thought it was over right? 

Once you’ve worked on yourself and become a different person, you thought that the sex would come on tap?


Despite all your work, effort and strategy, she STILL won’t believe you’re this new person.

If you’ve recently changed your personality, she’s going to throw every shit test in the world at you.

She’s going to try and piss you off. 

She’s going to talk about other guys.

She’s going to try and text you all the time.

She’s going to complain about her guy trouble to you.

She’s going to say that you’re not this alpha guy and she hates who you’ve become (guilt).

Everything she’s doing has one purpose:

If you’ve changed your personality, she shit tests because she’s trying to pull you back to your older loser self. She wants you to be the man who kisses her ass and does everything she wants.

If you do? You’re done.

And not only are you done with her, but with all her friends too. She’s going to tell them ALL about what a fake you are.

Hold strong to your new self!

Tough right?

If you manage to hold, THEN you can turn her into your friend with benefits (FWB)!

Here’s how…

Alt text: You’ve passed all of her tests. Now it’s time to turn her into a friend with benefits!

Turning that One Special Girl into a Friend With Benefits (FWB)

Step 1 to Turning that One Special Girl into a FWB –  Setting up the First Date

I’m sure I have some of you guys foaming at the mouth with such a bold flip of the script.

Here’s how you turn her into your FWB.

Step 1 is simple.

You ask her to meet for a first date at some neutral place like a coffee shop.

Text only for logistics (don’t have any long conversations about meeting up, just tell her the time and place).

Here’s an example of a text script you could use to set up this first date:

You: Hey, what’s up?

Her: Nm, you?

You: I’m doing fantastic! What you get up to this week?

Her: I went for a hike by the ravine and got a new puppy!

You: Awesome, is he cute? We should totally meet up! How about we meet at *insert place here* at *insert time here*. We’ll go for a chill walk/we’ll grab a coffee, etc.

Her: Sure!

Simple as that.

Alt text: This hot girl agreed to go on a first date with you, and you’re not in the friendzone anymore. Amazing!

Step 2 to Turning that One Special Girl into a FWB –  First Date Strategy

On the first date, you CANNOT do anything sexual.

Helios, why are you torturing me like this?

Unless you want this to be a one-time-thing (ONS), and her to bounce, you cannot do anything sexual on the first date.

Instead, you have a short date for about an hour, where your only goal is to establish rapport. 

You want her to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling she gets when she meets a new guy she’s interested in.

Once she gets that, cut the date short.

Congratulations, now she wants more!

DO NOT text her the same day as your first date unless she messages first.

You can text her the next morning. 

The real fun can begin now…

Alt text: You just had an amazing first date with this stunner! You lucky guy, you 🙂

Step 3 to Turning that One Special Girl into a FWB –  Second Date Strategy

Message her the next morning after your great first date. Tell her how you enjoyed it. Set up another date for 1-3 days from now.

This time, invite her to your place.

You DO NOT tell her you’re going to have sex.

Just say you’re going to watch a movie, or play a boardgame, or listen to music, or play guitar, whatever.

Once she’s at your place, make sure everything is set up.

Your place should be relatively clean and the activity that you want to do together should be set up.

Start doing the activity that you had planned.

When things are going well, escalate sexually.

Watch her body language! If she’s receptive, finally, you can have sex with her.

Try and make her orgasm!

I don’t care how long it takes, or what you have to use, try!

Most women achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Use your tongue, your fingers, anything that works. Take as long as you need!

She CANNOT spend the night. That would lead to an NMG (non-monogamous girlfriend), and you don’t want that, you want a FWB right?

Almost done, but not quite…

Alt text: You finally slept with the girl of your dreams, congrats! It’s not over yet!

Step 4 to Turning that One Special Girl into a FWB –  Third Date Strategy

Text her the very next day. Make it very clear how much you enjoyed the time you spent yesterday.

Be very nice! DO NOT MENTION SEX.

Set up your next date for 1-3 days from now, inviting her to your place again.

Invite her to do an activity again, and do not mention sex in the text.

Do exactly the same thing on this date as the second. 

Do the activity you had planned, when it’s going well, escalate sexually.

Try and make her orgasm again.

SHE STILL CAN’T SPEND THE NIGHT. Or any night, for that matter. FWB’s don’t spend the night.

Congratulations, all of the hard steps are now done!

She is your FWB now and you only need to do one more thing to continue the arrangement…

Alt text: You’ve slept with this gorgeous girl twice? Without offering her commitment! Amazing. Almost done!

Step 5 to Turning that One Special Girl into a FWB –  Relationship Management

All that remains now is relationship management.

You need to slow down the texts now. 

From this point on, you text once per week, and ONLY for logistics.

You message her to come to your place and do some activity. Each time, it leads to sex.

You repeat this as long as you want!

After about three months, she is going to want to define the relationship. If you want it to continue as a FWB, you say:

“I really like how things are between us, I’d like things to continue as they are.”

If she agrees, good.

If she disagrees and leaves you, DO NOT CHASE!

She will boomerang back to you. Just don’t text her for 4-6 months, then reinitiate contact like nothing happened and invite her to your place again.

And that’s it!

Alt text: You lucky dog. Look at how this gorgeous girl is looking at you! What a great friend with benefits you are!


The reason you’re put in the friendzone is because you’re demonstrating beta qualities. 

Beta qualities disqualify you from a sexual relationship, and put you in the friendzone.

Alphas and betas are different, and you need to embody alpha qualities if you want to get laid.

If you want to break out of the friendzone, and turn a girl into your FWB, you first have to ghost her for a minimum of 6 months.

You then change yourself for the better and reinitiate contact later.

At that point, you seduce her, making sure that you don’t do anything sexual on the first date.

Once she’s your FWB, don’t worry about her leaving you, she’ll boomerang back later.

Good luck, and I hope this post helped you solve the friendzone problem!



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