This is a deep topic.
It is related to the fundamental nature of women.
Many men have no idea this information exists.
Knowledge is power.
Once you know what women are really like, you can understand why they behave the way they do.
Once you understand that, you’ll see why many of the behaviours and strategies I teach make sense.
Let’s dive right in, shall we?
Part 1 – Hypergamy Explained
Some Background Biology
Men produce sperm. Women produce eggs.
Men produce millions of sperm per day. A woman has all the eggs she will ever have once she is born.
A man can be sexually viable until the age of 65 or 70. A woman is only reproductively viable until the age of around 42 (it depends on the individual woman).
Men impregnate. Women get pregnant.
Men are still able to function normally after impregnating a woman. A woman has a gestation period of about 9 months.
After about 3 months, the physical changes make it such that women are no longer as mobile.
Men protect women during pregnancy. Women need to be protected (due to mobility and miscarriage issues).
This means that fundamentally, women need to choose the best protector for her when she gets pregnant. She can’t get pregnant by just anyone.
It is dangerous to a woman’s long-term survival to be impregnated by a weak man.
This is where hypergamy comes in…
What is Hypergamy?
Hypergamy is an instinctual, biological drive in women.
It states that:
A woman wants the best man. A superior alpha man.
It really is as simple as this, but it leads to some behaviours that drive men insane.
Men are not like women. Men are polygamous. They want to have as many sexual partners as possible.
Women are not polygamous. They are instinctively serially monogamous.
Serial monogamy is when a woman chooses one man to be their sexual partner, and eventual boyfriend/husband. They have children, and when the children are old enough to be self-sufficient, the woman’s attraction for the man dies on the vine.
She then leaves him and goes for a new guy, repeating the process again.
Serial monogamy lite is when women jump from serious boyfriend to serious boyfriend, leaving each one over time, and not having children with any of them, only sex.
What men tend to not understand is the cyclical nature of women’s relationship preference.
Because of serial monogamy and hypergamy, no relationship with a woman is permanent.
Women as a group tend to leave beta men who they are with monogamously after a while due to boredom.
A lot of men in the manosphere believe that women will not leave them if they are alpha.
They believe that if they hold frame long enough and well enough, they can hold her in a monogamous relationship forever.
They cannot.
For alphas, instead of getting bored, women tend to get frustrated they can’t control them, and leave them for that reason.
They then move on to a “better” alpha they believe they can eventually control.
If they manage to control him, he becomes beta, and she leaves due to boredom eventually. If she can’t control him, she leaves him due to frustration.
This dooms many women to a life of misery, as they keep looking for that perfect submissive alpha man that never manifests.
The truth is that there is no submissive alpha man.
You can have one, or you can have the other. NEVER both.
Key Points for Men
What an understanding of hypergamy implies is that men should be prepared to never have a permanent happy relationship with a woman, EVER.
ALL women eventually tire of monogamy and leave.
“But Helios, what about those amazing marriages where both of the people are happy and they’ve been together for 50 years?”
Any couple can project the image of happiness for a few hours.
Watch the couple behind closed doors, away from prying eyes and see the truth.
The woman despises or simply tolerates the man once her hypergamic instinct has kicked in.
She hates him, denies him sex, but stays with him, for the monetary benefits.
It is not a way for any man to live.
The only people who can survive a long-term monogamous relationship are two people with extremely low sex drives, who also live boring lives of near-solitude.
Does that sound like you?
Then you will NEVER have a permanent, HAPPY, monogamous relationship.
Sound sad?
It did to me at first as well.
I have some solutions, however, at least for men.
Part 2 – 3 Strategies to Make Hypergamy Work for You
Strategy 1 – Be Non-Monogamous
As I said before, it is impossible to have a long, happy, monogamous relationship.
There is a relationship strategy, however, that allows you to be long-term happy.
That strategy is non-monogamy.
Non-monogamy means that, as a man, you never commit to only one woman.
With non-monogamy, you get your sexual appetite satisfied, and when the woman who was temporarily monogamous with you tires, it has no negative sexual effect on you.
You simply let her go to another man and replace her with another woman, adding someone else to your roster.
Non-monogamy is a way of hedging your bets. You aren’t putting all your sexual eggs in one basket, and so, your happiness, which is greatly tied to the act of sex is never lowered much.
In my opinion, the minimum number of women you should have in order to have stable non-monogamy is three.
You should have three concurrent women at any point, all of which you are having sex with.
This way, if one woman tires of you, while you’re searching for a replacement, you’re still non-monogamous.
Four women might be even safer, to prevent even the rare case of two of your women leaving you at the same time.
In my experience, two women leaving at once is quite rare (though it has happened to me).
Let me tell you why non-monogamy makes hypergamy work for you.
Non-monogamy makes hypergamy work for you because in order to have multiple women as sexual partners, a man MUST be an alpha male.
The woman practically GUARANTEES she’s with an alpha if she’s with a man who refuses to be monogamous.
Thus, her hypergamic drive is satisfied (temporarily), but her frustration with your lack of compliance to her biological imperative will make her want to leave you eventually.
There is a silver lining:
Women who leave alphas out of frustration often boomerang back. Alphas are never boring (and are usually amazing in bed).
Strategy 2 – Be Polyamorous
Polyamory is defined as free love, basically.
Both the man and the woman are free to sleep with whoever they want, whenever they want.
You as the man, I’m sure, have a fantasy of being with multiple women while they are only with you.
I’m telling you that this fantasy only lasts for about 1 year. After a year of you refusing to be her boyfriend, she’s going to go find a boyfriend.
When she does (and she will do so easily), most men fly off the handle and scream, moan and beg for the woman to return, giving her a stern lecture.
She does return, but the respect she had for him is forever tarnished, and the alpha slowly turns into a beta (who she then leaves out of boredom).
The only solution to this beta-ization is polyamory. You let her have her boyfriend, and manage your own jealousy (the hardest part of polyamory).
She then fucks you like an animal and does all the lovey-dovey romantic things with her boyfriend (things you didn’t want to do anyway).
I know it’s hard to accept that all relationships with women are temporary, but I’m telling you that if you offer a girl polyamory, she’ll stay with you for a very long time indeed.
The key to offering non-monogamy and polyamory is to do it slowly. You don’t reveal you are this way from the first date, you let her discover this through your frame and subtle implications.
She falls under your spell, and stays for a long time.
If she does leave out of frustration, she’ll often boomerang.
Through a non-monogamous, polyamorous arrangement, you can extend what would have been a monogamous relationship with a girl for 1 year (ending in super dramatic fashion, oftentimes) into a 5 year, highly sexual, on-again, off-again relationship (that is also low drama for you)!
Sounds like a good deal, doesn’t it?
Strategy 3 – Be Non-Judgmental
Many men struggle with their judgment of women.
They believe in this concept called “madonna-whore”.
This is the idea that women fall into two categories. They’re either a virginal object of perfection (the madonna), or they’re a sinful, shameful slut (the whore).
In traditional thought, you’re supposed to marry the madonna and fuck the whore.
The problem is that traditional thought is not based on reality. No woman is a madonna or a whore. Every woman has both a sexual side and a non-sexual side.
Just because YOU didn’t see her sexual side, doesn’t mean she’s a madonna.
Just because she wears a nice dress, tall heels, and likes attention, doesn’t make her a whore.
You have to accept that women are going to be who they’re going to be.
You cannot change people or force them to be who you want them to be.
We ruin our relationships because we’re so busy fantasizing over who we want a person to be, we’re blinded to who they really are. EVEN THOUGH THEY’VE TOLD US!
When you accept a woman for who she is. She will love you and fuck you like you’ve never seen in your life. Don’t force her to be who you want her to be.
Let her be who she is and watch her soar!
Here’s how you do that:
You start a friend with benefits (FWB) arrangement or any other non-monogamous arrangement of your choice and you let them react as they like!
If they leave, cool, if they stay, cool.
No judgment!
It really is as simple as that!
When she knows she can be and do what she likes, she’ll relax. She will be comfortable around you like you’ve never seen a girl be before.
You think she won’t come back to that?
Those feelings are hard to come by. You provide them, and you provide them without judgment.
Try it, you won’t be disappointed!
Conclusion
We cannot change female hypergamy.
It would be silly to try (though religion and the institution of marriage has tried, and failed).
Hypergamy is the concept of women wanting the best man for her.
Women eventually tire of all relationships (from boredom for betas and frustration for alphas).
No relationship is permanent.
To make hypergamy work for you, you use the strategies of:
- Non-monogamy
- Polyamory
- Non-judgment
Try them! I know it’s hard. You won’t be disappointed at the results, however.
-Helios
Frequently Asked Questions:
She’s A 19 Year Old Virgin Who Has Slept With Only Me. She Says She Will Never Leave Me. Is She Different From the Rest ?
That she has less life experience does not make her less of a biological woman.
Does that answer your question?
I Was Sleeping With Her For 3 Months in a FWB Arrangement and She Got a Boyfriend, What the Hell?
You didn’t provide her with any beta qualities, congratulations!
This means that you don’t have to provide her with:
- A shoulder to cry on
- Dinner dates
- Taxi service
- Helping her to move out
- Being an object for her to show off to her friends
But you can still fuck her.
Sounds like a good deal to me!
This Girl Told Me She Slept With 50 Dudes, Do I Keep Seeing Her?
Is she enjoyable to be with in bed?
Does she have a pleasant demeanor and personality?
Are you using protection?
Fantastic! Don’t judge and enjoy! You should thank those guys for giving her the experience to make you as happy as she does.
My Girl Said That She Didn’t Want to Keep Seeing Me Because We Have Different Priorities, What should I do?
DO NOT chase.
Message her in 4-6 months and resume your sexual relationship.
She needs this time to explore her beta options and realize they’re losers that don’t compare to you.
My Parents Have Been Together 45 Years, You’re Wrong About All This!
Happily together?
Is your father sexually satisfied with his relationship?
Are your parents roommates or lovers?
Are these difficult questions that you didn’t think I’d ask?
They are very likely unhappy. They still love you, just likely not each other very much anymore.
The Helios Blog 