When we first use online dating, we often wonder why we’re not having sex.
I thought tinder was a hookup app?
That’s what many people think.
The issue is that they’re often falling into traps that are preventing them from getting laid.
I have listed a few of the common traps that men fall into, so that you can prevent them and maximize your chances of getting laid!
Off we go…
1 – Complimenting A Girl’s Appearance
This is probably the simplest one to fix.
Many men see a pretty girl online and just HAVE to tell her.
Dude, if she took that picture, she knows exactly what she’s doing.
She’s putting her best foot forward, looks wise.
You don’t have to let her know, she already knows.
If you do tell her that she’s pretty, you’re giving her free validation and not working towards your goals (setting up a meet and getting laid).
As a rule of thumb, you should NEVER compliment a girl’s appearance online.
That will put you in the beta zone.
Obviously, you don’t want to be the guy she associates with free attention and compliments, you want to be the guy she associates with sex.
You can say something like this instead:
“You seem cool 🙂 You should message me! – *your name*”.
When you say that she seems cool, you’re getting her to validate herself to you.
If she does, she’s already chasing and the frame is in your favour.
That is what we’re trying to create.
You are communicating that you’re the kind of guy that women chase, and that women have to qualify themselves to.
You don’t give compliments for free.
2 – Talking Forever Online
Another common mistake men make is that they tend to talk forever online.
Rather than use online dating to get laid, they use online dating like a messenger app.
They keep talking, and talking and talking, giving the girl more and more attention and validation.
They then get beaten by the men that push for her to meet in person.
You have to understand that until you’ve fucked a girl twice, you are nothing to her.
You are low on her list of priorities.
That means that any other guy could snatch her away with relative ease.
The longer you spend messaging and NOT fucking her, the more time another guy has to steal her away.
You have to strike while the iron is hot, as the saying goes.
By the THIRD MESSAGE, you should have pitched a date (with a specific time and place).
If she denies, or ghosts, she had no intention of ever meeting you.
Good riddance.
3 – Reading A Girl’s Profile
Many men make the mistake of reading a girl’s profile online.
They read and internalize all of this information about the girl before they’ve even messaged her.
They spend all this time looking at her pictures and thinking of a future with her as well.
This is entirely the wrong attitude to have.
Until she has agreed to meet up, you are wasting your time reading her stuff.
You should be spending your time messaging girls, instead of reading about them.
Try to feel absolutely nothing for the girl until she has made an effort to invest in you.
You are simply wasting time and emotional energy on people that have no interest in you otherwise.
If they have no interest in you, they are not deserving of any of your value.
You need to be time efficient in the messaging phase.
Looking at all a girl’s pictures and reading her profile wastes your valuable time.
4 – Continuing the Conversation After She Says She Needs More of A Connection
I’m sure this has happened to many of you.
You’re talking to a girl and it seems to be going well, in that she is replying to your messages.
As soon as you pitch a meetup, she denies, and says she needs more of a connection.
A girl that is doing this never had any intention of meeting you.
She wanted to message and talk in order to receive the attention and validation of an attractive man.
She plans to give nothing in return.
If she does not agree to meet up after the third exchange, she was simply not interested in you in the way you wanted.
She was a timewaster.
In response to her saying that she needs more of a connection, your reply should be to ghost.
Give her no more attention, since she has no intention of actually investing in you.
You are not online to make penpals, you are online to set up dates and get laid.
Only women that are willing to invest in you are worth your time.
5 – Being Overly Sexual in Your Messages
Online dating is there to set up a meet in person.
You should NEVER be overtly sexual in your texts.
If it is clear that a woman is sexually interested in you, DO NOT do ANY sex talk online.
Push to meet in person and actually have sex with her.
If you do have sex talk online, the sexual tension will be diffused and your time will be wasted.
Redirect any invitations for sexting online to a meetup in person.
If she declines meeting in person she was never interested in having sex with you, but was instead, you guessed it, a timewaster.
You should never send messages online that are direct sexual invites.
Women do not communicate directly as men do.
Any direct sexual message to a woman will be instantly rejected.
You’ll immediately be labelled as a creep.
If you do want to have sex, you want to set up a meetup in person.
Do not mention in your texts that you’re going to have sex, instead, have some plausibly deniable excuse.
Mention some kind of activity you’ll be doing together at your place, and actually have that activity set up when she arrives.
Actually do the activity, and when things are going well, you can escalate sexually, if her body language is positive.
You should be aiming for sex on the second date, with a first date that establishes rapport, by the way.
First date lays usually end up as ONS, where the girl doesn’t want to see you again.
6 – Texting What Everyone Else is Texting
Every guy online texts the same thing.
They’ll text something like: “hey” or “what’s up”.
If you text those, your response rates will be abysmal!
You need to text something with a call to action, and sign your name at the end.
“Nice pictures you got there, you should message me! – Your name”
“You seem cool, you should message me! – Your name”
Something like that.
When you text just like everyone else, all the girl can decide to reply based on is your appearance.
If you don’t look like a character from baywatch, you’re going to get no responses using that method.
Since most guys don’t look like characters from baywatch, most guys get no responses online if they text just like everyone else.
7 – Continuing to Message After She Has Stopped Responding
If she ghosts you for whatever reason, DO NOT keep messaging.
It is a TOTAL waste of your time.
She will not reply if you send ten more texts.
You’re just pushing the creep button.
If she ghosts, she’s gone.
Message women that are interested in you.
Some girls will ghost in response to your first message, while others will ghost when you pitch the meetup.
Either way, it is not worth the expended effort to keep messaging a girl who’s not interested.
Spend your time on new prospects.
8 – Asking for Her Phone Number Before You Set Up A Meet
A lot of guys think that online dating is like meeting a girl in person.
It is true that in person you would ask for her number and pitch the date later.
Online, however, you do it the other way around.
You pitch the meet, and when she agrees, then you ask for her number.
For whatever reason, it is less of a risk for her to meet up with a stranger than to give that stranger her number initially.
Once she has agreed to meet up, do ask for her number.
Text her 2-3 days before the meet and have a conversation where you build comfort, then send a reminder text the day of the meet.
You don’t have to do this after you’ve slept with her twice, but before that, you must make these moves.
Obviously, if you ask for the number first, she’ll feel creeped out and will often ghost.
Don’t chase if she does, simply move on to a new girl.
Conclusion
As you can see, there are many traps that men fall into online.
Understanding and avoiding these traps will increase the likelihood that you get laid.
Here is the list again of things to avoid:
- Complimenting a girl’s appearance
- Talking forever online
- Reading a girl’s profile
- Continuing conversation after she says she needs more of a connection
- Being overly sexual in your messages
- Texting what everyone else is texting
- Continuing to message her when she’s stopped responding
- Asking for her phone number before you’ve set up a meet
Good luck out there!
-Helios
Frequently Asked Questions
This Girl Online Says She Wants to Know How Big My Dick Is, What Do I Do?
DO NOT tell her.
Instead, steer the conversation towards meeting up.
If she does not agree to meet up, she was not interested in ever sleeping with you, but rather in wasting your time.
The Conversation Was Going Really Well Online, Then I Asked for Her Number and She Ghosted, What Gives?
You freaked her out.
Pitch the meet first, and then when she agrees, ask for her number.
Your results will be better that way.
I Really Like This Girl, and Our Conversations Are Amazing. We’ve Been Talking for Three Weeks Online and I Think She’s the One. How Do I Ask Her Out?
Jesus, there’s so much wrong with this…
She is VERY unlikely to want to meet considering the frame you have.
Currently, you’re giving the girl everything she wants (attention and validation) without ever having to meet up.
You think she’s gonna come out?
Fuck no!
You’ve ruined it by talking forever online.
Congrats.
I Keep Messaging “Hey” And No Girl Responds, Online Dating Doesn’t Work!
Are you Adonis?
Then you can’t message that and get responses.
Message something more interesting that has a call to action and sign your name.
That will work better.
Try these:
“I’ve got a pet cheetah, you should message me! – Your name”
Or
“That book you’re into seems cool! You should message me! – your name”
They should do better.
The Helios Blog 