This is an extremely important rule!
Ignore it at your peril!
DO NOT EVER LIVE WITH A WOMAN!
This is a huge mistake betas/NPCs make, especially if they do this early in the course of a relationship.
You’ll see why it leads to all kinds of problems…
Anti-Aphrodisiac
Living with a woman is probably the best anti-aphrodisiac on the market!
Within a few months to a few years, living together will have ruined all of the sexual urgency and all of the mystery of your behaviours.
As a result, it leads to a great reduction in sexual frequency and overall relationship satisfaction.
Many men believe that living with a girl will give them more sex.
Ironically, in the long term, it has directly the opposite effect.
Once the mystery is gone, and she knows through your behaviour that you don’t have access to sex from anywhere else, the frequency of sex will drop precipitously.
Women Love to Think About You When You’re Not Around
The problem with living with a girl is that it removes the most important thing needed for female arousal, imagination.
Women love to think about you when you’re not around and imagine all of the amazing things that you’re doing.
When they see you every second, they know for certain that you’re not an incredible badass like she believes in her mind (though the truth is that no-one can measure up to our imagination).
Since she knows you’re not a badass, she’s much more inclined to be convinced by a new guy who hasn’t had his mysterious veil removed yet.
A guy who is hot and mysterious (by comparison, since he doesn’t live with her) will be much more likely to capture her imagination, and therefore be competition.
This competition would have never occurred if you weren’t living together!
Mystery is Hot
I’m going to repeat this.
Mystery is hot!
Women don’t want full disclosure!
Full disclosure naturally happens over time when you’re living together as she learns more and more about you.
When she knows everything and has figured you out, there is no longer any mystery.
In general, women want a man who is archetypal, they don’t want a real man.
What I mean is that they want Achilles, or Superman, or Gilgamesh.
These men are not real! They are heroes.
Women want to feel like they’re with a hero, but the only way for that to happen is for her imagination to be stimulated (as no actual heroes of this type exist in reality).
As a result, mystery is an absolute necessity to being an attractive man in the long term.
Do not allow this to be shattered by living together!
Don’t Be Monogamous
It is very hard to be non-monogamous when you live with a girl.
She can see whenever you go in or out of the place that you live in together, and she can use that against you.
She can constantly question your behaviour, leading to annoying arguments.
It is easy for you to have multiple women when you don’t live with a girl and rarely text, since she has no direct idea exactly what you’re doing and when.
When you don’t live together, and rarely text, her competition anxiety rages fiercely and she knows that she has to work hard to keep you.
She knows instinctively that you will favour your other options over her if she isn’t behaving in a respectful, kind and sexual manner.
Ironically, doing this is also much less work than having a live-in relationship.
You effectively just live your life, however you choose, and when you decide, you spend time with the girl that is your NMG.
At the same time, you can also have other FWBs on the side.
If your NMG ever asks you about details regarding the other girls you’re seeing, you refuse to answer and deflect.
This way, she knows you’re seeing other girls but does not have the specific information to cause super drama with.
Don’t Text All the Time
I have already mentioned this, but you should not be texting all the time.
The only thing texting should be used for is logistics (or confirming your dates).
When you text all the time, you signal that you’re a beta/NPC who has time to waste texting women.
You are signalling that your time is not valuable.
I’m sure many, or all of you, have better things to do than spend all day texting back and forth.
Ideally, you want your girl to not be able to keep tabs on your behaviour.
This allows you freedom in your actions and allows you to do the things you want to do without having to ask permission.
When you don’t text all the time, you buy yourself independence, an extremely attractive quality!
Once again, the combination of not living together + not texting all the time yields mystery.
Mystery is hot!
Familiarity Breeds Contempt
As you live with a girl over time, you build familiarity.
As you’ve already heard, I’m sure, familiarity breeds contempt.
She will slowly start to resent you as the little idiosyncrasies of your behaviour, which she was never privy to before, surface.
These little things, combined with the knowledge that she “has you”, combined with texting all the time make you extremely mundane and boring, no matter how attractive you were when you started.
If you do all of these things, you will have practically castrated yourself in her eyes.
Is it even a surprise then, that because of all of these actions combined with falling into her frame, she leaves you for another man?
Women want mystery and excitement, not a boring doormat who’s there all the time.
Don’t put yourself in that position and you’ll never have this problem!
Slow Beta-Ization
In long term relationships that are monogamous, there begins a process called beta-ization.
Often, men that enter into relationships with women (who are interested in having children with these men) are NOT beta from the outset.
They are simply ignorant of how the world works, fall into all kinds of traps, and slowly end up beta-ized.
Beta-ization is basically when a girl slowly turns a guy who was confident, attractive and handsome into a classic beta (out of shape, loserish and obedient).
You can become a beta if you allow the classic culturally mandated feminine frame to become your frame.
Here it is again (from my article about tactics that women use to make men wait for sex):
- Women are the prize
- Women should be worked for
- Women should be fought for
- Women should be listened to
- Women should have nice things bought for them
- Women deserve attention for free
- Women should be allowed to date and sleep with any partner they desire
Obviously you can see that if a man begins to adopt these beliefs he is destined for doom.
The sad part is that many men have no idea they’re even doing these things!
Insidious…
Common Progression for Cohabitation
It’s time to show you what happens when you start to live with a girl (to give you an idea how beta-ization occurs).
Here is the classic progression of a live-in relationship with a girl:
- Marathon sex
- Sex drops off in quality/quantity
- Man gets confused/angry
- Man asks why/man demands answers
- Girl replies with some bullshit excuse (you didn’t do the laundry, I’m tired, etc.)
- Sex continues to drop off
- Man desperately tries to rectify situation
- Nothing works
- Sexlessness/Cheating/Relationship implodes
The marathon sex (step 1) occurs over a 3 month to 3 year period, followed by the other steps, as the honeymoon phase of the relationship ends.
What this means is that effectively all long term monogamous relationships are doomed to either explosion or misery.
It isn’t hard to see this in the real world (just ask any married man who has been married more than three years behind closed doors, away from prying eyes.).
But What About Kids?
This is the sad part.
Due to our current society, the old frameworks that were in place previously are no longer there.
Women are free to follow their feelings, no matter who they hurt.
We all know that children are a huge sacrifice, and they will often lower your happiness.
If you want kids, you’re very likely going to have to cohabitate.
This means that you are putting your relationship on a timer, no matter what you do, and likely, you will separate from your partner and your children will likely end up living with their mother.
You need to have contingencies in place beforehand to make this likely break as clean as possible.
Before having children, you’ll likely need the following in place:
- Be living in an area of the world that has no common-law marriage
- Have totally split finances (including no co-ownership of any property, and no co-owned rentals)
- Not be married
- Have a parenting plan signed by a notary in case of split
- Have some kind of apartment, where you can discreetly and without drama sleep with your FWBs
- Your partner should know that you’ll never be monogamous
With these contingencies in place, you can have children while still being protected in case of a split (which is likely due to the reasons above).
Conclusion
As you can see, there are many reasons why cohabitation leads to the death of a relationship.
Unless you desperately want children, you will want to avoid cohabitation!
Even in the case of wanting children, there are several contingencies you must have in place first, which simply serve to protect you in case of a likely split.
You should aim to keep the mystery in your relationships, and that is only possible if you don’t live together!
Good luck out there!
-Helios
Frequently Asked Questions:
My Girl Keeps Texting Me, What Do I Do?
Lower your reply rate significantly!
Reply a maximum of once every week, and to that reply, add your logistics for meeting up again.
You aren’t free to talk all the time, remember?
I Really Love My Girl, Why Can’t I Live With Her?
You’ll shatter her love for you by destroying competition anxiety!
The mystery that you have will be gone!
Don’t do it!
This is ESPECIALLY true if you really like her.
I Want Kids So I’m Gonna Get Married, Even If It’s Stupid!
No prenup? Shared finances?
You know that hitting yourself on the head with a hammer is stupid and you’re going to do it anyways?
I have no sympathy for you.
This, my friends, is an example of an idiot.
He’s literally on a site that can save him from the demons of the world, and he sells his soul to them anyway…
I’m Having Marathon Sex With My Girl Now And She’s Perfect, the Best I’ve Ever Had! You’re Full of Shit Helios!
Ever heard of the myth of Icarus?
You’re about to learn what it means to fly too close to the sun, my friend.
You need to play the long game!
Don’t let your feelings in the moment tarnish your actions for the future!
The Helios Blog 