Men have been fooled for much of their lives into believing that women are romantic and men are pragmatic.
While that may be true outside of a relationship context, in the context of male-female interactions men are definitely romantics and women are definitely pragmatic.
It is truly amazing how much the wool gets pulled over men’s eyes due to cultural programming.
Luckily, I’m here to explain.
Here’s why women are pragmatic…
Women Don’t Love As Men Do
Women don’t love the way that men want them to.
Many men believe that the love they will receive from the women in their lives will be akin to the love their mom showed them.
This is NOT the case.
Women love much more pragmatically than all that.
Women will love you based on what you can provide them (be they good sexual experiences and a tingle-inducing alpha demeanor, or resources and security from a beta demeanor).
No man is EVER loved for who he is as a person, instead, he is loved for what he provides and what he does.
Basically, men are loved as STATUS OBJECTS, the same way that women are loved as SEX OBJECTS.
This means that if, as a man, you’re not providing anything to a woman, she will NOT love you, period.
You have to have some value in order to be attractive and be loved.
I know it’s tough to hear, but I’d rather you knew the truth than to doom you to a life of suffering due to ignorance.
Hypergamy
In the same way that men are polygamous (they want multiple partners), women are hypergamous (they want the best partner).
This means that women’s strategy is to attract as many men as they can, and then select the best one.
They then keep other frontrunners on the side in case the main man slips, and another becomes the best.
Women move on extremely quickly once they’ve decided that one man is better than another.
It often surprises men to see this, and they’ve even given it a name (something I have spoken about in other posts):
“The light-switch effect”.
Basically, their attraction for one man instantly turns off, and they move on quickly to a new man.
In any case, those men are often surprised, because the women they were with were showing them love basically up to the point of turning off.
It often jars men out of their comfortable NPC reality when this happens.
They then turn to explanations and tend to actually learn some truths of the world afterwards (the red pill).
Utility
Women love men in a utilitarian fashion.
“What can this man do for me?”
They do not love as a matter of course.
This naturally means that women cannot love you in the way that you expect.
You will always be disappointed if you expect women’s love to be like yours.
It will never be.
As I mentioned before, you are only loved based on your usefulness (or attractiveness), and so, if these ever wane, your girl will replace you, as she would replace a broken purse or some ruined shoes.
You must not take this personally.
Women have evolved to do this over thousands of years, as their partners would often be killed or maimed in wars and needed to be replaced.
This means that you must always hold strong, no matter what you’re truly feeling internally.
Unfortunately, a man can never relax in any relationship he’s in with a woman.
Sad, I know.
Orbiters
As I’ve mentioned before, women select the best due to hypergamy, but best is relative.
If ever at any point, one of the men that she’s stringing along becomes better than her main man for whatever reason, she will quickly replace the main man.
This could be for a whole host of reasons.
Here are a few reasons why her main man might fall in attractiveness:
- He becomes depressed
- He becomes fat and lazy
- He loses his job
- He becomes physically handicapped
- He comes down with a serious illness
In these cases, women often abandon their partners in favour of a superior one.
They leave their previous man in the dust, leaving him bewildered at how quickly she shifted in attitude towards him.
Again, this reflects the biological realities of raising offspring in an uncertain and often dangerous past world.
A partner to a woman who was weak would inevitably lead to her death and the death of her children, so she must have had some mechanism for cutting her losses.
Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks
In modern times, survival isn’t so much of an issue, but sex and provisioning still are.
Women fantasize about a man that has both of these traits optimized, but often they do not.
As a result, women will often fuck an alpha, and siphon attention, love and resources from a beta (or several).
The betas never know they’re being used, and the alpha is often not told, or doesn’t care about the men she has on the side.
This is doubly true during ovulation, where women are more likely to take sexual risks with an alpha male.
Of course, if the alpha ever falls in her eyes (due to failing shit tests, or other factors), she can simply move on to a new one.
Alphas and betas are not in short supply (though alphas often have multiple women, an unfortunate reality that women must contend with).
The One
Both men and women often believe in the myth of “the one”, though these manifest in different ways.
Both genders often spend lots of time looking for this mythical being, who does not exist.
Here is how the myth of “the one” manifests for both genders.
For a man, “the one” is a woman that loves him for him, who he can truly relax with and who treats him as his mother did, loving him unconditionally.
Let me repeat this again, this woman DOES NOT exist.
For a woman, “the one” is a man who has both all of the alpha traits and all of the beta traits.
This means that he is extremely rich and can provide for her every need and kisses her ass, but he’s also a dominant, sexual alpha.
Obviously, in reality she can only pick one.
What I am trying to communicate here is that women CAN’T love you the way you want.
This does not mean they’re incapable of love.
Women are totally capable of love and infatuation, but it manifests for what you provide for her, not because of who you are as a person.
Men’s Realization of the Truth, and Rationalizations
When men realize that they are being treated effectively as status objects, or purses for women, many men embrace it!
They are not upset, and in fact brag about how good of a purse they are.
They do not realize that in doing this, they are beta-izing themselves, effectively submitting to a feminine reality.
Men also often rationalize women’s love for them as true love and not as the exchange that it really is.
All love is transactional, as are all relationships, but since men are romantics, they often do not want to accept this.
Read some literature and poetry for proof of this statement (most of which is written by men, for women).
Explaining to Women How You Want to Be Loved Creates Obligation
Some men realize that the women they are with are not providing them with the kind of love that they want and so they try to have a conversation with them.
“Please love me the way my mother did.”
This often repulses women, who react in disgust at the idea.
They don’t want to be a mother to the man they’re with, they want to be his wife!
Being a mother to the man they’re with naturally means that she is above him, and the very suggestion of that disgusts her, and makes the man seem weak in her eyes.
A weak beta man is unnatractive and sex all-but dissapears for men who have this conversation with their partner.
Obligation is not hot.
You’ll Never Find Motherly Love Again
Ultimately, it’s important for you to understand that unconditional motherly love only comes from one person, your mother.
No other woman in your life will ever provide you with that kind of love.
Failing to understand this will lead to your misery.
To women, you are what you do for them.
You can decide for yourself whether you want to provide provisioning, or tingles.
You cannot provide both, though many women will try to make you provide the other.
You decide for yourself which kind of man you want to be, and think about your overall life outcome and happiness as a result of your choice.
Vulnerability Leads to Quick Destruction
Men are not allowed to be vulnerable.
The way we love means that we want to feel as though we can be vulnerable, to experience the freedom and love we had as a child from our mother, but it is not to be.
Men who allow themselves to be vulnerable in relationships are praised by their partners, then quickly replaced by a man who refused to be.
Women cannot love a vulnerable man and instead seek to destroy him.
Be vulnerable at your own peril!
Conclusion
As you can see, there are many reasons that men are romantics and women love pragmatically.
I hope that you can see that love is conditional from women, and when you are not providing them with value (be it alpha or beta value), you are quickly discarded for a man who can provide that value.
It is your choice which kind of man you want to be, though I think you know which one you should choose.
Be strong!
-Helios
Frequently Asked Questions:
My Girl Said She Loves Me! I’m On Top of the World!
Great!
Keep in mind that women don’t love men the same way that men love women.
You can’t lose your edge, or you will see that love quickly wane…
My Girl Keeps Mentioning Other Guys In Her Life, What Do I Do?
Women naturally cultivate many options in case you falter.
If you were non-monogamous, you wouldn’t care about this, as you would have options of your own.
She uses them for the utility you don’t provide her with, most likely.
All of the Previous Girls I’ve Been With Have Been Garbage, I’m Looking for The One!
There is NO ONE.
That is a nice lie told to men to make them believe that they can be loved unconditionally.
They can’t.
I know reality is sad, but that doesn’t make it untrue.
Lose your edge and be destroyed.
You will NEVER find this mythical unicorn girl.
Maybe If I Explain How I Want to be Loved, Women Will Do It For Me!
Creating obligation is not hot.
Women can’t love you the way you want, even if you explain it to them.
In fact, they are likely to be repulsed by the notion.
The Helios Blog 