Tag: meaning of an open relationship

Ahh, womanese.

The bane of men since time eternal.

The old adage of “mean what you say and say what you mean” does not apply to interpreting the communication of women.

Often, women do not mean what they say.

The meaning lies hidden beneath what they say, in subcommunication.

Luckily for you, I’ve pierced the veil.

Here we go…

A Little Background Information

It’s time to explain why women have womanese in the first place.

This is all biologically driven.

Basically, since men are stronger, women had to evolve a different method of control than overpowering.

What they developed is a form of brainwashing/psychological control.

In my opinion, women are much more powerful than men.

You should see how well women spin beta men around their fingers.

Much of the world is indirectly run by women and the men are just walking around thinking they own the place.

Basically, the psychological control that women have stems from their greater social abilities. Women are much more adept at manipulating social environments to their advantage.

Controlling men boils down to control of their sex drive.

Many women control men through their desire for sex.

If you, as a man, give in to monogamy, you are easily susceptible to being controlled psychologically.

Your sex drive will indirectly control you.

This is why I prescribe non-monogamy, so that you can control your sex drive and your own actions, freeing yourself from the psychological manipulation of women and their goals for you.

Once your sex drive is strictly controlled by a women, all kinds of beta-ization will occur and you might hear some of this stuff, womanese.

Womanese is veiled speech that doesn’t mean what it appears on the surface.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

The Categories of Womanese

There are two categories that womanese can fall into:

1. Women talking about you
2. Women talking about relationships

It amazes me that women are speaking english. But not really.

Womanese really is a very powerful language, used to subtly manipulate alphas and betas alike.

Lucky for you, you have a translator!

Let’s get on with it, shall we?

Part 1 – Women Talking About You

Many men have been baffled by these words here.

Women basically use veiled communication, not realizing you have no clue what it actually means. 

Sometimes they do know what they’re doing.

That makes it even more insidious. 

Time for the translation!

Here’s what women actually mean when they say certain things to you:

What They Say	What They Mean
You’re such a nice guy!	You’re a beta loser who me and my friends would never fuck.
Don’t ever change	You’re firmly beta and weird, but I like that you’re not a sexual entity and enjoy your presence otherwise.
What would I ever do without you?	You give me such nice gifts, car rides, dinners, and other stuff I like. I’ll never fuck you though.
I love you, but I’m not in love with you	You’re such a fantastic beta I don’t ever want to lose you. You make me drier than the sahara though. No sex for you!
You NEVER do ______	You sometimes do ______, and I hate it, so I’m pointing it out in a way that will hurt you. Stop!
You ALWAYS do ______	You sometimes do ______, and I hate it, so I’m pointing it out in a way that will hurt you. Stop!
OMG, you’re such an asshole!	It kind of turns me on that you don’t do what I want when I want…
You’re insufferable!	I can’t stand that I always want to rip your clothes off.
A real man does…	A beta does…Be my beta slave, bitch!
Why won’t you do ________	Why won’t you obey my orders like every other beta bitch I know? Please start.
You’re fun	You’re in my fuckzone! Don’t ever change.
I like a guy who spoils me a little bit	I ain’t sayin’ she a golddigger. But she ain’t messing with no broke brotha. Buy me nice things, take me to nice places! I won’t fuck you if you do those things though.  I only fuck bad boys 🙂
You’re not romantic enough	You’re an alpha and I want you to treat me as a beta does while still being alpha. I’m clueless that such a man doesn’t exist.
Let’s just be friends	Never ever speak to me again. You’re such a fucking loser I can barely stand you. Leave! Or,  You can stay if you kiss my ass like a queen. I’d like that a lot.  No sex though!
I wish every guy was like you	I wish all the alphas I’ve fucked kissed my ass like you do… I’d never fuck you though.
You’re cute	You’re hot as fuck. Seduce me already!
I’ll always love you	As long as I feel EXACTLY how I’m feeling now, I’ll keep loving you. The second it changes, I’ll feel differently.
You’re a good guy, but I don’t think we should talk anymore. We have different priorities	You’re an alpha I love fucking, but right now I’m frustrated with you.  I’m going to jump on the nearest beta dick I can find, and I’ll be back when I’m bored of him.
I’m seeing someone	I’m fucking someone
He’s the best	He does everything I say and is the best beta in the world. He’s a boring lay.
He’s the worst!	He gets me wet like I’ve never been in my life.  He won’t do what I say!
I hate him!	I’m so turned on by him I hate it!
I’ll never talk to you again!	RIGHT NOW, I don’t want to talk to you. In a week, when I’ve calmed down, I’ll be back.
I want to see you be vulnerable	I want you to show weakness so that I won’t see you as an alpha anymore. Once I’ve tamed you, I’ll move on to a real alpha who could never be tamed.
My friends hate you	My friends know you’re alpha. They want you too. They’re trying to drag me down.
I don’t do that stuff	I don’t do that stuff with YOU.

As you can see, very often women don’t mean what they say.

Study that list!

Onto women talking about relationships!

Part 2 – Women Talking About Relationships

Women relationship talk is also often veiled. Let me show you what I’m talking about:

What They Say	What They Mean
He’s a great boyfriend	He’s a great beta slave. He does whatever I want!
He’s the best hubby a girl could ask for!	I’m so dry! Help me! He’s a HUGE beta.
He’s such a great guy	He’s such a good and dutiful listener. He’ll even do my laundry if I ask him to! We don’t even have to have sex!
We’re not official yet	I’m one of his friends with benefits (FWB) or non-monogamous girlfriends (NMG)
He’s great in bed	We rarely have sex (A girl who’s having a lot of sex rarely advertises it)
I’m dating this guy	I’m fucking this guy
That girl’s boyfriend is an asshole	She’s enamored with her boyfriend and they’re having lots of sex which she’s jealous of.
My boyfriend is an asshole	I’m very sexually attracted to my boyfriend, but I can’t control him
Sometimes, I hate him	Because she can’t control her boyfriend, he turns her on. The ups and downs are enjoyable too.

A lot of the womanese is just her calling the guy beta in another way, I know.

Sad, isn’t it?

The truth is, many men have no idea they’re being beta-ized by their girl. It just happens slowly, over time.

Never let a girl own all of you, sexually and you’ll prevent many of the problems in modern relationships for men.

Conclusion

Womanese is veiled speech that does not mean what it says.

It evolved as a biological form of control and aims to control men through their sex drive.

Understanding womanese will help you to know where you stand and modify your behaviours accordingly.

There are many expressions, but they boil down to alpha or beta distinctions. You want to hear the ones where she clearly sees you as an alpha.

If you do, congrats!

Good luck!

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions:

My Girl Says I’m the Best Boyfriend Ever, You’re An Asshole!

I’m the worst, you’re right.

As to what your girl is saying, watch out, another guy may just be on the horizon.

What do I do if She Tells Me That We Should Just Be Friends?

Cut her loose. You’ll do nothing good to yourself staying in that arrangement.

Unless you like your balls cut off. Then godspeed!

My Girl Keeps Mentioning This Asshole From Work, What Does That Mean?

Are you monogamous with your girl?

You may not be for much longer.

Don’t be monogamous dude.

Her Friends Hate Me, Is That Bad?

Congrats, you’re the bad boy!

Enjoy the fruits of your labour 🙂

Happy fucking!

She Says I’m Not Romantic Enough, What Do I Do?

Keep doing exactly what you’re doing. 

She wants you to be more beta.

That should be no for you 🙂

This is a deep topic.

It is related to the fundamental nature of women.

Many men have no idea this information exists.

Knowledge is power.

Once you know what women are really like, you can understand why they behave the way they do.

Once you understand that, you’ll see why many of the behaviours and strategies I teach make sense.

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

Part 1 – Hypergamy Explained

Some Background Biology

Men produce sperm. Women produce eggs.

Men produce millions of sperm per day. A woman has all the eggs she will ever have once she is born.

A man can be sexually viable until the age of 65 or 70. A woman is only reproductively viable until the age of around 42 (it depends on the individual woman).

Men impregnate. Women get pregnant.

Men are still able to function normally after impregnating a woman. A woman has a gestation period of about 9 months. 

After about 3 months, the physical changes make it such that women are no longer as mobile.

Men protect women during pregnancy. Women need to be protected (due to mobility and miscarriage issues).

This means that fundamentally, women need to choose the best protector for her when she gets pregnant. She can’t get pregnant by just anyone.

It is dangerous to a woman’s long-term survival to be impregnated by a weak man.

This is where hypergamy comes in…

What is Hypergamy?

Hypergamy is an instinctual, biological drive in women.

It states that:

A woman wants the best man. A superior alpha man.

It really is as simple as this, but it leads to some behaviours that drive men insane.

Men are not like women. Men are polygamous. They want to have as many sexual partners as possible.

Women are not polygamous. They are instinctively serially monogamous.

Serial monogamy is when a woman chooses one man to be their sexual partner, and eventual boyfriend/husband. They have children, and when the children are old enough to be self-sufficient, the woman’s attraction for the man dies on the vine.

She then leaves him and goes for a new guy, repeating the process again.

Serial monogamy lite is when women jump from serious boyfriend to serious boyfriend, leaving each one over time, and not having children with any of them, only sex.

What men tend to not understand is the cyclical nature of women’s relationship preference.

Because of serial monogamy and hypergamy, no relationship with a woman is permanent.

Women as a group tend to leave beta men who they are with monogamously after a while due to boredom.

A lot of men in the manosphere believe that women will not leave them if they are alpha. 

They believe that if they hold frame long enough and well enough, they can hold her in a monogamous relationship forever.

They cannot.

For alphas, instead of getting bored, women tend to get frustrated they can’t control them, and leave them for that reason.

They then move on to a “better” alpha they believe they can eventually control. 

If they manage to control him, he becomes beta, and she leaves due to boredom eventually. If she can’t control him, she leaves him due to frustration.

This dooms many women to a life of misery, as they keep looking for that perfect submissive alpha man that never manifests.

The truth is that there is no submissive alpha man.

You can have one, or you can have the other. NEVER both.

Key Points for Men

What an understanding of hypergamy implies is that men should be prepared to never have a permanent happy relationship with a woman, EVER.

ALL women eventually tire of monogamy and leave. 

“But Helios, what about those amazing marriages where both of the people are happy and they’ve been together for 50 years?”

Any couple can project the image of happiness for a few hours.

Watch the couple behind closed doors, away from prying eyes and see the truth.

The woman despises or simply tolerates the man once her hypergamic instinct has kicked in. 

She hates him, denies him sex, but stays with him, for the monetary benefits.

It is not a way for any man to live.

The only people who can survive a long-term monogamous relationship are two people with extremely low sex drives, who also live boring lives of near-solitude.

Does that sound like you?

Then you will NEVER have a permanent, HAPPY, monogamous relationship.

Sound sad?

It did to me at first as well.

I have some solutions, however, at least for men.

Part 2 – 3 Strategies to Make Hypergamy Work for You

Strategy 1 – Be Non-Monogamous

As I said before, it is impossible to have a long, happy, monogamous relationship.

There is a relationship strategy, however, that allows you to be long-term happy.

That strategy is non-monogamy.

Non-monogamy means that, as a man, you never commit to only one woman.

With non-monogamy, you get your sexual appetite satisfied, and when the woman who was temporarily monogamous with you tires, it has no negative sexual effect on you.

You simply let her go to another man and replace her with another woman, adding someone else to your roster.

Non-monogamy is a way of hedging your bets. You aren’t putting all your sexual eggs in one basket, and so, your happiness, which is greatly tied to the act of sex is never lowered much.

In my opinion, the minimum number of women you should have in order to have stable non-monogamy is three. 

You should have three concurrent women at any point, all of which you are having sex with.

This way, if one woman tires of you, while you’re searching for a replacement, you’re still non-monogamous.

Four women might be even safer, to prevent even the rare case of two of your women leaving you at the same time.

In my experience, two women leaving at once is quite rare (though it has happened to me).

Let me tell you why non-monogamy makes hypergamy work for you.

Non-monogamy makes hypergamy work for you because in order to have multiple women as sexual partners, a man MUST be an alpha male.

The woman practically GUARANTEES she’s with an alpha if she’s with a man who refuses to be monogamous. 

Thus, her hypergamic drive is satisfied (temporarily), but her frustration with your lack of compliance to her biological imperative will make her want to leave you eventually.

There is a silver lining:

Women who leave alphas out of frustration often boomerang back. Alphas are never boring (and are usually amazing in bed).

Strategy 2 – Be Polyamorous

Polyamory is defined as free love, basically.

Both the man and the woman are free to sleep with whoever they want, whenever they want.

You as the man, I’m sure, have a fantasy of being with multiple women while they are only with you.

I’m telling you that this fantasy only lasts for about 1 year. After a year of you refusing to be her boyfriend, she’s going to go find a boyfriend.

When she does (and she will do so easily), most men fly off the handle and scream, moan and beg for the woman to return, giving her a stern lecture.

She does return, but the respect she had for him is forever tarnished, and the alpha slowly turns into a beta (who she then leaves out of boredom).

The only solution to this beta-ization is polyamory. You let her have her boyfriend, and manage your own jealousy (the hardest part of polyamory).

She then fucks you like an animal and does all the lovey-dovey romantic things with her boyfriend (things you didn’t want to do anyway).

I know it’s hard to accept that all relationships with women are temporary, but I’m telling you that if you offer a girl polyamory, she’ll stay with you for a very long time indeed.

The key to offering non-monogamy and polyamory is to do it slowly. You don’t reveal you are this way from the first date, you let her discover this through your frame and subtle implications.

She falls under your spell, and stays for a long time.

If she does leave out of frustration, she’ll often boomerang.

Through a non-monogamous, polyamorous arrangement, you can extend what would have been a monogamous relationship with a girl for 1 year (ending in super dramatic fashion, oftentimes) into a 5 year, highly sexual, on-again, off-again relationship (that is also low drama for you)!

Sounds like a good deal, doesn’t it?

Strategy 3 – Be Non-Judgmental

Many men struggle with their judgment of women.

They believe in this concept called “madonna-whore”.

This is the idea that women fall into two categories. They’re either a virginal object of perfection (the madonna), or they’re a sinful, shameful slut (the whore).

In traditional thought, you’re supposed to marry the madonna and fuck the whore.

The problem is that traditional thought is not based on reality. No woman is a madonna or a whore. Every woman has both a sexual side and a non-sexual side.

Just because YOU didn’t see her sexual side, doesn’t mean she’s a madonna.

Just because she wears a nice dress, tall heels, and likes attention, doesn’t make her a whore.

You have to accept that women are going to be who they’re going to be.

You cannot change people or force them to be who you want them to be.

We ruin our relationships because we’re so busy fantasizing over who we want a person to be, we’re blinded to who they really are. EVEN THOUGH THEY’VE TOLD US!

When you accept a woman for who she is. She will love you and fuck you like you’ve never seen in your life. Don’t force her to be who you want her to be.

Let her be who she is and watch her soar!

Here’s how you do that:

You start a friend with benefits (FWB) arrangement or any other non-monogamous arrangement of your choice and you let them react as they like!

If they leave, cool, if they stay, cool.

No judgment!

It really is as simple as that!

When she knows she can be and do what she likes, she’ll relax. She will be comfortable around you like you’ve never seen a girl be before.

You think she won’t come back to that?

Those feelings are hard to come by. You provide them, and you provide them without judgment.

Try it, you won’t be disappointed!

Conclusion

We cannot change female hypergamy.

It would be silly to try (though religion and the institution of marriage has tried, and failed).

Hypergamy is the concept of women wanting the best man for her.

Women eventually tire of all relationships (from boredom for betas and frustration for alphas).

No relationship is permanent.

To make hypergamy work for you, you use the strategies of:

1. Non-monogamy
2. Polyamory
3. Non-judgment

Try them! I know it’s hard. You won’t be disappointed at the results, however.

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions:

She’s A 19 Year Old Virgin Who Has Slept With Only Me. She Says She Will Never Leave Me. Is She Different From the Rest ?

That she has less life experience does not make her less of a biological woman.

Does that answer your question?

I Was Sleeping With Her For 3 Months in a FWB Arrangement and She Got a Boyfriend, What the Hell?

You didn’t provide her with any beta qualities, congratulations!

This means that you don’t have to provide her with:

1. A shoulder to cry on
2. Dinner dates
3. Taxi service
4. Helping her to move out
5. Being an object for her to show off to her friends

But you can still fuck her.

Sounds like a good deal to me!

This Girl Told Me She Slept With 50 Dudes, Do I Keep Seeing Her?

Is she enjoyable to be with in bed?

Does she have a pleasant demeanor and personality?

Are you using protection?

Fantastic! Don’t judge and enjoy! You should thank those guys for giving her the experience to make you as happy as she does.

My Girl Said That She Didn’t Want to Keep Seeing Me Because We Have Different Priorities, What should I do?

DO NOT chase.

Message her in 4-6 months and resume your sexual relationship.

She needs this time to explore her beta options and realize they’re losers that don’t compare to you.

My Parents Have Been Together 45 Years, You’re Wrong About All This!

Happily together?

Is your father sexually satisfied with his relationship?

Are your parents roommates or lovers?

Are these difficult questions that you didn’t think I’d ask?

They are very likely unhappy. They still love you, just likely not each other very much anymore.

I want you to get laid.

The problem is that in order to do that you have to get over the dreaded first date.

Ever felt awkward on a first date?

Me too.

Then I learned, and I was never awkward on first dates again…

Here are some rules to follow so that you too can be suave on your first dates! 

Rule 1 – The First Date Should Only Last 1 Hour

“But Helios! She’s beautiful, and special and we’re having such a great time!”

Fantastic! That means she likes you! Now cut it short.

The reason you cut the first date short is because of this concept called ASD (anti slut defense).

Women do not want to be perceived as a slut, and so, they do not want to do anything sexual on the first date.

If you try being sexual on the first date, you’ll see that there is a lot of resistance. 

It gets very awkward and often all of the effort you spent on building rapport is broken!

Rather than force the issue, you should sidestep it.

Your goal for the first date is to establish rapport and warmth.

Here is how you do it:

1. Ask questions to lead the conversation
2. If she doesn’t like the topic, change the topic subtly
3. Do this until you hit a subject she loves
4. Keep reflecting her good feelings back at her by asking more questions about the subject she loves
5. Once the atmosphere of warmth is established, it’s time to end the date!

You should leave the date feeling like it went well. 

If you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, that’s a good sign. 

It means you established that rapport. Congrats!

Onto the next rule.

Rule 2 – Limit Your Talking

On the first date, a guy is looking to qualify a girl. He’s looking for reasons why he likes her.

Girls are the opposite. 

On first dates, women look to disqualify. They look for things they don’t like. When they find something, they quickly lose interest. 

This is especially true if they are over the age of 23, when they’re no longer in their rockstar phase (RP).

The way to reduce your chances of being disqualified is by reducing how much you talk.

Basically, during the hour that your first date lasts, the total time you as the man should talk is around 15 minutes (a quarter of the time). 

The rest should be her. You direct the conversation, she talks.

Rule 3 – Never Compliment a Woman’s Appearance

I tend to never ever compliment a woman’s appearance, even if it’s past the first date.  Generally, it’s safe to do so after you’ve slept with her twice.

On a first date, however, if you compliment her appearance, she’ll immediately put you in the provider category. No fuckzone for you!

You can compliment her on her outfit or some accessories she’s wearing. That’s different.

This is especially true if you then relate it to her trying to impress you.

For example, let’s say you like the outfit she’s wearing. You could say something like:

“I love that outfit, it’s very modern. It looks like you put a lot of thought into it.”

In this way, you’re subcomminicating that she worked hard to look good for YOU.

A strong frame, for sure.

Rule 4 – No Job Interview Questions

DO NOT ask the following:

1. What do you do for a living
2. What are your kids/parents like
3. What do you like to do for fun

If you really need to, ask them very infrequently.

Basically, we’re trying to avoid having a beta date.

This is the kind of date that loser guys go on with women, where they’re bored to tears but know you have money.

Instead, ask these:

1. What have you been up to lately?
2. Favourite food?
3. Have you been travelling lately?
4. You seem like you’re a _______ person
5. Beer or wine?

Basically, these questions will lead to her revealing cool things about herself, which you can then play off of to get that rapport you’re seeking.

Rule 5 – Do Not Lie

If she asks you a question you don’t want to answer, deflect, but don’t outright lie.

Some women in the lady phase (LP), above the age of 29 or so, will directly ask you if you’re seeing other women, or sleeping around.

You want to deflect, and not answer the question instead of lying. You’ll save yourself drama down the road, trust me.

Deflecting the question is in itself an answer. It’s just an alpha answer that preserves rapport since it’s veiled.

She will know what your answer is and understand that you’re the kind of person who is discreet about these things. That’s great for you!

Rule 6 – Do Not Discuss Any of Your Past Relationships or Sexual Experiences

If she asks, say a few sentences about it, and quickly redirect. 

Do NOT talk about your past relationships or sexual experiences on the first date!

You don’t want the awkward breaking of rapport that bringing in your past adds.

Again, our goal for the first date is to establish rapport. 

We can’t do that if we’re talking about ourselves, especially sexually.

Rule 7 – Make Her Laugh

Make jokes about the stuff she says. Don’t direct the jokes at her personally, but at situations.

When you ask her where she’s been travelling lately, for example, you can make fun of weird tourists for example.

When I say to joke, I don’t mean to neg.

She has to know you’re making a joke, and not think you’re insulting her.

Other ways to make her laugh are by talking about ridiculous things that happened to you, that are related to the things she’s talking about.

Build rapport this way and you’ll see some great results!

Rule 8 – Relax and Assume A Laid Back Posture

Before you meet the girl, if you’re nervous, take some deep breaths and try to relax. Drink water if you need to.

When you’re sitting in your chair, lean back and take up as much space as possible.

You want to give the impression that you’re lounging and comfortable.

Alphas are relaxed wherever they are, and you’re alpha, aren’t you?

When she sees that you’re relaxed, she’ll be more relaxed too. Fantastic! 

Alphas are not scared of any environment they’re in. 

You want the girl to feel like she’s entering a safe place, one you’ve made.

To help you with this, you could invite many women to the same place. 

Once you know what to expect, you’ll feel much more comfortable and relaxing should be easier. 

When you’re both relaxed and comfortable, talking about things you both enjoy, you’ve got rapport! Nice!

Rule 9 – Be Outcome Independent

Alphas are outcome independent.

This means that you don’t care about the individual outcome of the situation you’re in, you care about women as a group.

You don’t care if this date doesn’t work out. There are 100 more waiting.

You don’t chase, you replace.

When you’ve internalized the idea that no individual girl matters, but rather your ability to seduce women as a group, you’ll relax.

When you know that there are thousands of opportunities for you waiting, it isn’t hard to succeed.

Women will feel this attitude and be drawn in.

It’s powerful stuff!

Rule 10 – DO NOT Kiss on the First Date

I’m going to repeat this two more times.

Do NOT kiss on the first date.

Do NOT kiss on the first date.

Yes, even if you feel the sexual tension!

The reason is that on the first date anti-slut defense (ASD) is highest.

If you feel rapport, warmth and sexual tension on the first date, and you CUT IT SHORT before that tension is diffused, you’ll get laid on the second date FOR SURE.

If you kiss on the first date, you diffuse the sexual tension AND you increase her ASD. 

Now she’s going to feel like she’s a slut for kissing you on the first date and won’t want to see you again.

I know it’s ridiculous.

Just say no to kissing on the first date!

Do this and watch how much more you get laid…

Rule 11 – Do Not Spend Money on the First Date

I don’t mean like 10 dollars.

I mean, don’t ever go on an expensive first date. EVER.

No restaurants, no movies, no rock-climbing gyms or other “event dates”.

Your first date should be in a chill, inexpensive environment.

If you go on an expensive first date, you immediately signal you’re a beta.

You’re giving up your resources too easily.

You signal that you’re easy. It’s just all bad.

Actually, I recommend never spending money on a woman ever, but that’s just me.

Let the betas in her life splurge on her while you have the great sex he wishes he could have with her.

Rule 12 – Eye Contact

Don’t stare at her the entire time, but make good eye contact.

Look at her for a few seconds, then look away, then repeat.

Good eye contact builds intimacy and rapport!

Practice good eye contact with everyone you meet.

People will like you more in general if you have good eye contact!

Rule 13 – Smile!

You should smile.

There are some rules however to HOW you should smile.

You want the girl to be “full smiling”.

You should be half smiling. It’s a much more reserved, masculine smile.

You’re subcommunicating through this smile that you’re relaxed, confident and you’re not as into her as she is into you.

I would recommend that you train yourself to never full smile again, and instead replace it with this half smile!

It is a very important subtlety…

Rule 14 – When You Do Talk, Tell Amazing Stories

No matter what you do, you’re going to have to talk at some point during the date.

You want the things that come out of your mouth to be high value, cool things.

Think about two really cool things you do.

I know you have something. Everyone has something. 

If you don’t, then you should aim to build a life where you do have something like this.

These can be anything. 

For me, I play the guitar and practise martial arts. I’ve also travelled to many countries

Whenever a girl asks me about me, I will tell a story related to one of these topics.

You do the same.

Telling amazing stories makes a good impression, helping you with rapport. She also will want to know more about you, making it more likely she’ll want to see you in the future.

Amazing!

Rule 15 – Break the Touch Barrier

This is why I prefer walking dates.

It is very easy to touch a girl when you’re walking. 

You can lightly push her, touch her hands, shoulders, whatever.

The way that you break the touch barrier is stepwise. 

You don’t want to make her uncomfortable, so you start with places that are less personal.

Here is a list of less personal areas:

1. Shoulder
2. Upper Arm
3. Upper Back

Slightly more personal areas:

1. Hands
2. Bicep
3. Waist

I hope I don’t have to tell you the very personal areas. 

You won’t be touching those on the first date, on purpose!

Try this fun way to break the touch barrier:

When she says something ridiculous, you can lightly push her.

Something I like to do is just walk into her gently while we’re talking, pushing her off to the side. 

When done in a lighthearted way it builds rapport and is fun! You’ll feel like a kid again. 

It builds that warm fuzzy feeling. Try it and you’ll see what I’m talking about!

Rule 16 – Do Not Neg

Do not insult a girl to bring her down a peg.

In my experience it doesn’t work and only serves to piss her off.

Negging breaks rapport, which we’re trying to build!

Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by insulting the girl!

Again, on the first date our goal is to build rapport, not take her ego down.

Girls with big egos in fact, are easier to seduce. 

We don’t want to bring that down, but instead egg it on.

Rule 17 – Be 5 Minutes Late

If you scheduled the meet for 6: 30, be there at 6: 35.

If she texts you at 6: 30, saying she’s there, even if you’re there, reply back at 6: 35 with “here”.

This is important because it subcommunicates that your time is more valuable than hers.

She will feel like she’s meeting someone more important than her, and this will help you to activate her hypergamy (the thing girls have where they want a superior partner).

This is a small subtlety that will improve your odds of getting laid later.

Rule 18 – Make Her Come Find You

If you’re meeting at a mall or coffee shop or whatever, you tell her where you are and have her find you.

She’s already putting in effort to be with you when you get her to do this.

You definitely want a frame of her doing things for you or chasing you. 

This starts both of you off on the right foot!

It is a subtlety that will improve your results!

Rule 19 – Hygiene

Make sure your outfit is coordinated and your shoes are clean.

Make sure you have good posture and your breath smells good.

Core exercises improve your posture if it’s bad. So do martial arts.

Cologne helps as well.

Watch out for sweaty armpits!

To avoid the sweaty armpit thing you can shave your armpits and use antiperspirant.

We’re trying to make a good impression and build rapport. Hard to do when you’re sweaty, smelly and have bad posture.

Another thing is wearing a darker shirt. Darker shirts hide sweat better than lighter ones, especially if they’re cotton.

Rule 20 – Pay the Tab

If you meet at a coffee shop, buy the coffees for both of you.

Once again, make sure that you’re not meeting at a place that’s too expensive. 

15$ is no big deal, so you should pay.

Once again, NEVER go on an expensive date with a girl. It sends the wrong message!

Conclusion

And that’s 20 rules you can follow to do better on a first date!

Try all of them and see how much better you do 🙂

Again, keep the date to 1 hour and cut it short.

You want the girl to feel all warm and fuzzy inside by the end of this date so that she wants to meet you again.

NOTHING sexual on the first date and NO KISSING. We don’t want to spike ASD.

Build rapport then cut it short!

Good luck!

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions:

On the Date, She’s Not Talking, What Should I Do ?

Give her one of your amazing DHV stories! Watch her light up as you dazzle her with how cool you are! 

Once you’ve told a story like that, she’s bound to pitch in 🙂

She Was 20 Minutes Late, Do I Leave?

Some women are terrible planners that are often late. 

If she texts you, apologizing for being late, there’s no problem. Continue the date as planned.

If she doesn’t apologize for being late, leave!

The message you communicate is that you’re an alpha whose time is important. She may even chase in response to you leaving because she was late.

Message her the next day like nothing happened and pitch the date for 1-3 days from when she was late.

Watch as she’s incredibly punctual the next date!

I’m Really Awkward About Touching Women, How Do I Do It?

Unfortunately, you’re going to have to go through that awkwardness to get to the other side.

Women don’t like sleeping with awkward men.

In general, you want to start with areas that are not very personal. An area you would touch on one of your guy friends (Back, shoulder, upper arm, fist).

Should I Smile from Ear to Ear the Whole Date?

Of course not!

You need a subtle half smile!

Practice.

If you’re having a good time, you can hold this subtle half smile for most of the date! 

Don’t be smiling from ear to ear though!

She Wants to Kiss Me at the End of the Date, Should I Let Her?

NO! 

No kissing on the first date! Even if she wants to.

Her wanting to kiss you on the first date is a very good sign though.

It means you’re very likely to get laid on the second. If you don’t kiss her that is.

You walk into a room and you notice a man standing in the centre. He is well dressed and tall. His broad shoulders are impossible to hide. 

He speaks with confidence and the crowd near him hangs on his every word. He effortlessly commands attention and respect through his mere presence. He bows to no one.

This is the Alpha Male. 

Or should I say Chad? 

Men want to be him and women want to be with him.

But what are the elusive qualities that Alpha Males possess?

Can you get them?

Here’s something people don’t tell you:

Alphas are made, not born.

Embody the qualities of an alpha, and congratulations, nothing more is required in order to sleep with as many women as you like.

You will, however, need some relationship management to reduce potential drama.

Here they are…

The 4 Qualities that Alphas Possess

1. Physical Attractiveness
2. Game
3. Outcome Independence
4. Confidence

Every man has each of these qualities to some degree, but they are not as well developed as they are in the traditional alpha male.

Your job is to build each of these qualities in yourself so that you too may join the elusive top 20% of masculinity.

Let’s talk a little about each one, shall we?

1. Physical Attractiveness

All alpha males are at least somewhat physically attractive. Usually they are tall, but not always.

I will not lie to you, if you are under 5’10 as a male in any western country, you are going to struggle with height. 

You are going to have to work even harder than a taller man to have the results they have. 

Life is unfair, deal with it!

Physical attractiveness is extremely important to any seducer, and if you want to embody the qualities of an alpha male, it is an absolute necessity for you to work on your physical attractiveness.

Here are some things to work on:

1. Clothing choice and style: 

You should be well dressed at all times, and have a suitable style for your height and build. 

Pick a style and stick with it. 

Many blogs on pinterest have amazing pictures of styles you can go for. 

Try any of those that you think may suit you.

2. Muscle mass: 

You must have above average muscle mass for your country. This means that you need to beat out at least 80% of the male population in your country. 

To do this is relatively simple, but not easy. It requires constant effort in the gym, or in a martial arts/boxing dojo of your choice. 

Luckily for you, the western world is in a state of decay and most men are trash. They are easily beaten if you put in the effort. 

It needs to be constant effort, however, and heavy. 

I would recommend at least 4x per week. If you have never lifted weights before, try stronglifts 5×5. 

The compound exercises there will help you make gains very quickly and you’ll see improvement and results within a few months. 

You should either lift weights or train martial arts a minimum of 4 times per week. It should be so intense that you can barely move when you’re done.

3. Fighting ability: 

I believe that every alpha male should know how to fight. 

This means that you need to train in some sort of martial art. 

The confidence this will give you is enormous, and will change your life in incredible ways (it did for me). 

Try muay thai, filipino martial arts, traditional western boxing, brazilian jiu jitsu or greco roman wrestling. 

I would also put rugby in the martial arts category, even though it is a “sport”. 

Personally, I did and still do filipino martial arts. 

You should either lift weights or train martial arts a minimum of 4 times per week. 

It should be so intense that you can barely move when you’re done. You need to join a good class/gym to get this in the case of martial arts.

4. Grooming: 

Don’t try to grow facial hair you don’t have. 

Clean up your beard and hair. Use products depending on your hair type. 

If you are balding, shave your head. Jason Statham is extremely attractive and he’s balding..

5. Smell: 

Buy cologne that works with your sweat. 

Try a few different kinds and see how women react to your smell. 

If you get complimented by the women you want to and actually are sleeping with, it’s a good sign.

6. Controlling your food consumption and its quality: 

Want to be an effective seducer well into middle or even old age? 

The only way to do that is with both constant exercise and good nutrition. 

You don’t want to be dying preemptively just because you couldn’t control the crap you were putting in your mouth.

Believe me when I tell you that if you do all of the things in the attractiveness category, you’re going to get laid like you wouldn’t believe with very little effort (though you still need game).

2. Game:

Physical attractiveness gets your foot in the door. Game slams it open, throws the woman on the bed, and makes her body contort in ecstasy.

Game is the essence of seduction.

Game is water in the desert. 

Many of you struggle now. 

Know this: once you know game, you will struggle far less. 

It is almost impossible to describe how much less the struggle is once you understand game.

Game is the ability to know women so well, that you act instinctively and confidently in a manner that leads to you sex. 

Your actions are based on your knowledge and experience of womankind. With game, you know how women work and women will tell you that you “just get it”.

Game involves four key things:

1. Speaking girl/womanese (or at least understanding it): 

Many women speak in such a way as to be evasive. 

Their true motives and motivations are almost always hidden. 

They speak to gain power, and hide from attack. 

Sound different from the way men speak? You bet! 

A good rule of thumb is to always add “right now” to what a woman is saying. 

Also, you should watch their actions and not their words. 

Many women will say that they want one thing, only to act in a completely contrary way later. 

Their actions are the only reliable indicator of anything. Explaining this in more detail will require an entire post.

2. Frame: 

Your frame is the way you see the world. You are to hold this no matter what anyone says or does to attack it. 

Many women will purposely attack your worldview just to see if it crumbles. 

If it does, you’re gone. 

You’re not an alpha if your worldview can be easily swayed by some little words. 

A good frame to have is one of non-judgment. You don’t care if a girl has a large sexual past, or if she wants to sleep with multiple men. 

Another good frame is a non-needy, sexual frame. 

This means that you acnowledge that you are an intensely sexual being, but you don’t need sex from any individual girl. 

You don’t break frame even if she leaves you. 

Some women will leave you just to see if you chase. 

If you chase, they never come back. Fucked up, huh?

3. Passing shit tests: 

Many women will purposely try and get you off balance with their words or their actions, just to see how you react. 

If you ever become needy, chase, or show needless anger, you’re gone. 

An alpha doesn’t get swayed by dumb bullshit. 

When you aren’t swayed, attraction increases.

4. Sexual ability/sexual confidence: 

Once you actually have a girl in a one-on-one situation and you’re isolated because of your excellent logistics, can you seal the deal with confidence? 

Can you fuck the girl like it’s your last day on Earth? 

Do you make her cum every time you have sex? 

Obviously, women will keep coming back for more if they enjoy you sexually, double that if you’re also attractive on top of being sexually capable. 

That’s the stuff dreams are made of!

Game is probably the most important skill on this list. 

If you don’t meet women’s benchmark for physical attractiveness, however, you’ll never get the chance to use it. 

Keep that in mind.

3. Outcome Independence

Outcome independence is not giving a damn one way or another. 

Outcome independence means you embody this idea:

“If there is one, there is more than one”

This means that you don’t care about being rejected by that one girl. 

You know there are a hundred more around the corner. 

You don’t care if one of your FWB’s stops seeing you, you have two more waiting in the wings.

You understand that all relationships are temporary and you don’t try to force someone to stay with you. 

You have such a full and busy life that it doesn’t matter really what happens with that one girl or that one situation.

You have the skillset to get more and you don’t worry about the loss of any individual. When you have outcome independence mastered, you have an aura about you that is irresistible.

No individual can shake you and no person can control you. You are truly free when you have true outcome independence.

When you are truly outcome independent, women will flock to you like moths to a flame. 

They will not understand why they’re so attracted, even though you don’t do everything they want. 

Sometimes, your actions even hurt them emotionally, since you aren’t kissing their ass every second.

But they return. And you don’t care when they return, or even if they return, since you have options.

Options are power.

4. Confidence

What do all women say they want? A confident man. 

This one is an actual truism, somehow, even though many women say it (a lot of things that some women say are in fact deliberate lies)

Ultimately, if you don’t believe in yourself, no one will.

Confidence is believing in yourself. You must truly believe, with all your heart that you are a strong, powerful man.

Don’t believe it? 

Try doing all the things above, and see how you feel about yourself. 

Personally, once I started developing every aspect of myself and seeing how much better I became than the NPCs around me, confidence, even arrogance, was easy.

You are fully capable of achieving all of these things. It is not done for free though. 

These things take work, effort, dedication, struggle and grit. 

Even attempting to improve one of these categories will make you more of an alpha, as you struggle through the reality of the difficulties of life.

Confidence and determination to succeed are incredibly important in our life. 

Life is hard, but you must be determined to succeed regardless. Persevere and success will come.

You can display confidence by being the best version of yourself and holding true to that even if people try to tear you down. 

Making jokes when people try to tear you down is also a display of confidence.

As you begin your journey of improvement, the crabs-in-a-bucket types around you will try to pull you down. 

When you hold frame in the face of this, you are a confident man indeed!

Takeaways

Remember the 4 qualities of an alpha male!

1. Physical Attractiveness
2. Game
3. Outcome Independence
4. Confidence

Work on yourself to embody those qualities as best you can! 

Success is inevitable if you have these qualities.

Work hard!

-Helios

Men are sick and tired of chasing women.

Wouldn’t it be so much easier if you could get them to chase you instead?

But Helios, men are the pursuers!

My son, 

You have never seen the lengths a horny woman will go to chase a man she truly wants.

Once you’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it.

You just need to know how to become a desirable man. 

Once you know how, the chasing begins in earnest!

Lets see if I can’t give you some strategies you can use to become the type of guy women chase…

Strategy 1 – Outcome Independence

Outcome independence is the subtle art of not giving a fuck (Thanks Robert Greene).

What it means is that you don’t care if you fail with any individual girl, your sights are set on creating a roster of women.

Once you have multiple options, you never fear one girl rejecting you or leaving you.

Once you don’t fear rejection, your aura is one of intense confidence.

Women chase that aura!

Cultivate this attitude and you will be chased, I guarantee it:

“I am a valuable man that multiple women want. I don’t care if this specific girl doesn’t want me, there’s another right around the corner.”

Strategy 2 – Don’t Chase, Replace

When a girl does not want to be with you, your response should always be one of nonchalance.

You react to the situation with effortlessness, and immediately turn your sights on another girl.

In the words of the famous Biggie Smalls:

“I don’t chase ‘em, I replace ‘em”

This is related to the idea of having an abundance mentality. Women are everywhere. It doesn’t have to be this one.

When you understand that no individual girl is important, but rather the group of women that you’re interested in, you become irresistible.

Women want what they can’t have. And they can never truly have you when you’re never with only one girl!

Strategy 3 – Never be Monogamous

When I say monogamous, I mean you’re only with one girl.

You should never ever be only with one girl in a relationship. You should have a roster of multiple, concurrent women. 

I don’t mean have 4 girlfriends, no-one with a life has time for that, but maybe you have 1 non-monogamous girlfriend (NMG) and 2 friends with benefits (FWB’s).

If you don’t know how to get those, check out my guide on this very blog!

When your girls know that you’ll never commit to them exclusively they’ll chase you, trying to convince you that they’re better than the rest.

You might even think so, but that shouldn’t stop you from seeing your whole roster.

Having multiple girls is an amazing proposition for a man.

You are now pursued, congrats!

Strategy 4 – Keep Texting to a Minimum

With your whole roster of women, you should only be texting them once a week, and only for logistics (to meet up, and ideally sleep with them).

You should never have long winded text conversations with women, for any reason.

This way, you communicate that you’re a busy guy. You don’t have time for her.

Guess who will try and convince you to make time for her?

If you answered that the girl you’re interested in you will try to convince you to make time, you’d be correct!

Does this sound like the girl chasing you?

Of course it does!

Texting a girl all the time, even if you like her a lot, puts you in the provider(beta) category. 

She knows for sure she has you. She’ll never chase a guy she knows she has for sure.

Strategy 5 – Be Incredible In Bed

Guess how horny the average beta makes a girl?

If you guessed not at all, or barely, you’d be right!

Most guys are terrible in bed. 

Most guys don’t have that much experience sexually. This is because most guys don’t see multiple women at the same time, and so, don’t have practice with many partners.

If you stand out sexually to a woman, she will want to be with you.

Combine this with the other strategies here, and you’ll get chased like crazy. 

Many women want to be with a guy who’s amazing in bed. 

If nothing else, she can brag to their friends about how many orgasms she’s having (preselection for you!).

Practice making your girl cum every time you have sex, even if it’s tedious for you.

Most women cum through clitoral stimulation. 

Whether you have to use your tongue, your fingers, or something else, making her cum should be your goal every time you sleep together.

Girls chase men who make them cum.

With this power you can save the world, one orgasm at a time!

Strategy 6 – Be Confident

Confidence means that you believe in yourself and your abilities.

You believe in your sexual abilities, and your ability to seduce women.

You believe that you’re a stunner and you’re doing women a favour by being with them.

You believe that women are lucky to know you.

You know that you’re a good, hard worker and you deserve the good things you have in your life, including women.

You’ve built yourself to be the best version of yourself you can be (or you’re working on it and you’re proud of yourself)!

Girls chase men who are confident.

Girls chase that.

Strategy 7 – Have a Full Life

You need to have a life that is full of things you enjoy.

You should have a hobby, something you love to do that does not have to do with women.

You should make money, doing something you like that isn’t soul crushing (if you don’t like what you’re doing, look up alternate sources of income).

You should work out at a gym, or do some kind of martial art (in a good class) at least 4 times per week.

When you love your life, your aura of confidence and happiness seeps into everything you do.

Women notice this and are attracted to it.

They will chase you for this!

Ironically, women want you most when you have the least amount of time for them!

A confident man with a full life is incredibly attractive.

Strategy 8 – Be Physically Attractive

Girls don’t chase tubs of lard.

If you’re overweight and lazy, it will translate into your personality and women will be repulsed by it. 

You need to be the best version of yourself and that means working out and improving your body.

You don’t need to be a roided out thug, but you can’t have a dad bod either.

You need to be in the top 20% in terms of physical appearance. 

As I alluded to in another post, that isn’t hard to do, as most people in the west are NPC’s.

Most people are overweight and exercise not at all, or barely exercise.

Believe me when I say that you must work on your appearance if you want women to chase you.

Some people will lie to you and tell you that appearance is not important. I have no such desire.

Work on your body, and see for yourself the results of your hard work in action.

Women chase attractive men. There is no doubt about that.

For women to chase, you must be the best version of yourself, and that includes your body!

Conclusion

So there you have it, 8 easy strategies you can use to instantly become the kind of guy that women chase.

Of course, that they are easy doesn’t mean that they don’t require work.

If you’re coming at this from the starting point of an overweight, valueless beta, you have some work to do.

I’m telling you that you can do it!

Success lies on the other side of the wall. Climb it!

You will love yourself and your life when you do!

-Helios

Many men just want to get laid (I know I do). They don’t want the overhead of having to spend time with a girlfriend.

Our lives are too busy and our dreams are too big at the moment to entertain a GF.

The problem is that many men have no idea how to get a girl into this kind of relationship. 

They only have the advice of their friends, or their mom, who are clueless when it comes to seduction.

Guess what?

Getting a friend with benefits is easy once you know how!

Ask me how I know.

Follow the steps in this guide and you’ll snag yourself an awesome FWB too through online dating!

Here we go, just 9 steps…

Part 1 – Getting Girls on the Date 

Step 1 – Sign Up for Online Dating

I know, I know. Losers everywhere say that online dating doesn’t work. 

Guess what? It does. You just need to do it right!

You need to sign up for every online dating service that works in your area. 

Here is a list of a bunch of online dating sites that have worked well for me in the past:

1. Tinder
2. Bumble
3. Plenty of Fish
4. Coffee Meets Bagel
5. OKCupid
6. Hinge
7. Happn
8. Tagged

Buy the subscription for tinder platinum, bumble and POF, trust me.

Download an auto-swiping app. 

This lets you swipe on all the girls that become available every day, without having to waste time.

Step 2 – Create Your Online Dating Profile

For Tinder, you need some cute joke profile text, something short and funny. You can easily find these online, same with Bumble. 

For POF, OKCupid, Tagged, Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel you’re going to need a few long paragraphs about yourself that are well written and funny. You can also find these online.

You change them to suit you.

For your pictures:

1. Use only 3 pictures. Each of them must be of you in different environments, ideally not posed and with you being natural. 
2. You should be wearing and doing different things in each picture, but they all must be very high quality. If your pictures are garbage, you’re done. 
3. Get an amateur photographer to take these pictures, pay him if you have to. 

Your pictures are 80% of your success for online dating.

Example amazing tinder picture:

Step 3 – Send Messages to Women You’ve Matched With

The initial message you send online should not be the same one that every other guy sends. 

Don’t just message “hey” or “what’s up”. These will not work.

If you have a call to action and you sign at the end, it will work wonders. Try it!

Example:

“Hey *their name*, you seem fun 🙂 You should message me! – *Your Name*”

It really is as simple as this. You need to put in the numbers, however. You’re not going to set up a meet only messaging 10 girls.

Use the shotgun approach. Send your message to every girl you match with that you find attractive.

Many women will not reply. 

Fear not, this is normal!

Step 4 – Set Up the Meet as Soon as Possible

Many men screw up this step!

They get into a conversation with a girl they find attractive and they keep talking, and talking and talking…

Guess what? 

Talking does not lead to FWB! To get a FWB, you need to meet in person!

You have to pitch the first meet within 3 messages!

If she does not agree to meet with you in person after three messages, she was a timewaster who had no intentions of ever meeting you. 

Congratulations, if a girl stops messaging at this point in the process, you weeded out a girl that would never be your FWB. Rejoice! 

Spend your time on options that are actually interested enough to meet immediately.

Example text exchange:

You: You seem cool ______ 🙂 You should message me! – Your Name

Her: Your Name, you seem cool too!

You: Thanks! If you were stranded on a desert island alone, what would be two things that you would bring with you? I have some good guesses, but I’m sure you know better 🙂

Her: I would bring my dog and a first aid kit.

You: Super cool! We should totally meet up 🙂 How about we meet at *insert place here* at *insert time here*. We’ll go for a chill walk/drink/hangout.

Her: Sure! See you then!

You: Great! Text me at (111) 222 3333

Her: Sure

Notice how I asked for her number after she agreed to meet. This is very important. 

Women prefer you pitch the meet first and then ask for their number later online. 

They’re less freaked out this way, as giving her number is too personal too quickly.

Part 2 – Dating Strategies

Step 5 – Never Get Sexual on the First Date

Guys incorrectly assume that since they got that pretty girl to meet up that they should try to immediately get sexual with her on the first date.

I mean Tinder is a hookup app right?

I’m telling you that unless your first date lasts 9 hours (which it never should), you aren’t getting laid on the first date. 

In fact, trying to get sexual on the first date almost never leads to a FWB!

Counterintuitive right? Often, if you do sleep with a girl on the first date, it will be a one night stand (ONS), and she’ll be gone.

So when Helios, do I get sexual?

Wait a second.

The first step is to do the first date correctly.

Your first date should be no longer than an hour. 

Establishing rapport should be the only goal of your first date.

You want her to feel that warm, tingly feeling she gets when she’s with a new guy she likes. The second she feels it, you end the date.

NO KISSING on the first date either!

Now she wants more!

DO NOT text her the same day of the first date, unless she texts first! Wait until the next morning (9 or 10am is fine).

Step 6 – Finally, We Get to Sex

You text her the next day after you had your first date. Schedule your second date the same way as the first, making sure the second date is scheduled for 1-3 days after the first date.

You should ask her to come to your place for the second date.

Talk about how you’re going to watch a movie together, or cook some food, or play music. Whatever it is that you do at home that’s cool.

Don’t talk about sex through text, ever.

When she gets to your place, don’t be weird. Have good logistics already set up for sex to occur.

You want your apartment or house to be relatively clean and you want the activity you had planned together to be set up.

Once you start your activity and things are going well, you escalate sexually.

Kiss her and then move further, making sure you’re paying attention to her body language. 

If she’s receptive, keep going.

If not, you can slow it down, and try later.

Generally, if she comes to your place, agreeing to be alone together, and you’ve only been on one date, she is signalling interest in sex with you.

Again, watch her body language. If she’s closed and not receptive, obviously, more rapport is required.

If you do have sex, make sure you try and make her orgasm! 

In general, for most women, they achieve orgasm best through clitoral stimulation. 

Your partner may be different. Experiment and see what works. It is very important!

DO NOT let her spend the night. 

That will not lead to a FWB, but a NMG (a non-monogamous girlfriend). You’re looking for a FWB here, right?

Once you’ve slept together once, congratulations, the hardest step to FWB is done. 

It isn’t over yet, however.

Step 7 – Getting to Sex a Second Time

The day after you’ve had sex with a girl the first time, make it extremely clear through text that you had a great time! 

You want to let your girl know that you enjoyed her company and want to see her again.

Do NOT be explicit in your text about you two having sex yesterday. Talk about how you enjoyed your time together.

Once again, you want to schedule a meet at your place. 

Give a different activity that you could do together, and pitch it for 1-3 days from the day you texted her.

Again, it could be cooking something together, playing music, board games, whatever.

Once she comes over to your palace, do exactly what you did the first time you had sex.

Once you’ve had sex a second time, and you’ve made sure that she orgasms, congratulations, only one more step is required!

 Part 3 – Maintaining a FWB Arrangement

Step 8 – Maintaining a FWB frame

Once you have slept with a girl twice, you need to maintain a FWB frame. This means that you cannot do the things that boyfriends (BFs) do. 

The first step to doing this is knowing how to text.

After you have had sex twice, your texts should only be weekly, and only for logistics.

This means you only text to ask her to come to your place to do some activity, with the understanding that it will lead to sex.

Always ask her to come over to do some activity, and never ask her directly to come for sex.

Once you have had sex, she cannot spend the night.

You continue in exactly this fashion until she asks to define the relationship, or she leaves you.

If she does ask you to define the relationship, tell her this:

“I like how things are going, and I would like things to continue as they are. I think we’re great together.”

You never talk about other girls you’re seeing or your arrangement. You just keep messaging her to come to your place, with the implicit understanding of what’s going on.

Congratulations, you have a successful FWB! Now do all of the previous steps two more times in order to get two more 🙂

You now have a successful polyamorous lifestyle! All you need to do now is not get jealous when she sleeps with other men!

You don’t care right? You have other girls!

Step 9 – Boomerang

Many girls, after some months of FWB, and you not wanting to be their boyfriend will ghost you without drama, and go get a boyfriend, or whatever.

You should NEVER chase them.

If they tell you they’ve found a boyfriend, or don’t want to see you for whatever reason, your reply through text should be no reply.

Wait 4-6 months and text them again like nothing happened. She will boomerang back to you and continue the FWB like nothing happened.

Often, something went wrong with the boyfriend.

Humans are not monogamous, so don’t worry. She’ll be back!

Conclusion

Getting a FWB from online dating is easy once you know how.

Keep these things in mind:

1. Your pictures are 80% of your success online.
2. Don’t get sexual on the first date
3. Once you’ve had sex twice, text her only once per week, for logistics
4. If she leaves, don’t worry, she’ll boomerang back in 4-6 months!

Keep in mind the hardest part of creating a FWB arrangement is sleeping with a girl the first time two times. Once that has happened, it is relatively smooth sailing.

Keep these things in mind, and go create a beautiful polyamorous lifestyle for yourself!

Good luck!

-Helios

Ever had a girl react differently to you even though you did the exact same things you did with another girl?

When I was a younger seducer I had this problem, and I’m sure you have too…

Many men wonder why women are so different and difficult.

They have struggled, and messed up with women because they didn’t treat them the way they wanted to be treated.

What if I told you that the reason that you made this mistake was partly to do with the phase of life she’s in?

With this post here, I’ve simplified women into three easy age phases. They’re all different and need to be approached differently in terms of relationships. 

Ready to find out what they are?

Look no further!

Alt text: A girl in her rockstar phase. Good luck tying a girl like this down!

The Three Phases of Women by Age

1. 18-23: Rockstar/Party Phase (RP)
2. 24-29: Strong Independent Woman Phase (SIP)
3. 30+: Lady Phase (LP)

Yep, just three.

And you have to have different relationship strategies for each one!

1. Rockstar Phase (RP):

For some girls, this phase hits earlier, for some it hits later, but basically, in this phase, an attractive or even relatively attractive girl is treated like the average male rockstar. 

She gets boatloads of attention and gets things for free. Guys offer her the world and instant commitment. Some guys offer to fly her across the world just to hang out, etc. Other women are jealous and want to be her (especially women in the lady phase).

Girls in the rockstar phase are impossible to control (not that anybody is controllable, really). 

They have so much relationship power, you can do little to stop it. They can do whatever they like, with whoever they like, with impunity. Some girls don’t know it, but that doesn’t stop the reality of their situation.

Many women in this phase do drugs, drink heavily or sleep around heavily. They will do this whether you judge them or not, and categorize it under “discovering themselves”. 

You cannot stop this because you dislike it, they’ll do it because they have the power to do it. As the famous saying goes:

“Those with power, use that power”

Acknowledging reality is a huge step towards success, don’t deny that women have power in this phase or resent them for it. It is simply how it is.

2. Strong Independent Woman Phrase (SIP):

In this phase, women have usually completed university, or have had lots of societal programming from their experiences in the world, TV, social media, etc. 

They are much more rational than rockstar phase women. This does not mean that they are necessarily rational, as many women use their emotions for their reasoning system, but it is certainly better than a teenager (and many girls in the RP phase act just like teenagers do).

Often, they stop doing drugs or whatever crazy stuff they were doing in their rockstar phase, but they still miss it. 

They are often looking for a more serious type relationship, but not always. Depending on the woman, they might have a lot of baggage at this point, but it really does depend on the girl and her environment.

Some women pretend they’re not in this phase and continue their rockstar phase all throughout 18-29. These would be the exceptionally attractive women (again, there are always exceptions).

Alt text: An educated hot girl. A true strong, independent woman. Not so wild and crazy anymore, but she wishes she could be! Is that a wedding ring on her finger?

3. Lady Phase (LP):

Many women in this phase have had it with their crazy life and want to “settle down”. They don’t “do that anymore, they’re a lady”. 

All the crazy stuff of their youth, including flings are quickly tossed aside for the ever important biological clock.

Many women in this phase feel like their time is running out, and they desperately need to have a kid and get married (shotgun marriages anyone?).

But Helios! These Categories Are So different!

Obviously, these categories are incredibly different, and so you need to consider that only certain relationship strategies are going to be good at these different phases.

What Kinds of Relationships Should I Have With Women?

Well, that depends on the phase they’re in.

Let me reiterate:

1. 18-23: Rockstar/party Phase (RP)
2. 24-29: Strong Independent Woman Phase (SIP)
3. 30+: Lady Phase (LP)

1. 18-23: Rockstar/Party Phase (RP) – Relationship Strategy

For RP girls, the best relationship strategy is FWB. 

With a friends with benefits arrangement, you don’t have to worry about her seeing other guys (she will, whether she’s your girlfriend or not monogamous guys). Instead, you can enjoy the radiant beauty of a RP girl, and the horniness she instills in you, without any of the dramatic downsides (she cheated on me with a guy from the football team!).

I know, it’s hard for alpha males to accept that your girl isn’t your girl, but ultimately, the world doesn’t care about your feelings. 

Also, humans don’t start being monogamous just because you want them to be.

Humans are not monogamous, accept it and move on. 

When that beautiful 18-23 year old sees that you really don’t care who she sees or what she does, it takes all of the pressure off her. 

You know what lack of pressure does to a girl? It makes her relax!

When she’s relaxed and comfortable around you, while still being sexually attracted and she sees you’re non-needy that leads to exactly what you think:

Sex, and lots of it!

A lot of you guys are gonna complain that you can’t have any kind of serious relationship with a young girl with this strategy.

I’m here to tell you that if you’re looking for a serious relationship with a girl in the RP phase you’re going to be slapped by reality pretty hard and pretty fast. 

You can’t hold a girl in the RP phase for a long time, in any kind of relationship arrangement, including FWB (you can probably hold her around 4-12 months, depending on the girl). 

She’s gonna flit from flower to flower whatever you do.

If you maintain an attractive, non-needy alpha frame, however, she’ll boomerang back to you, often multiple times.

2. 24-29 Strong Independent Phase (SIP) Girls – Relationship Strategy

For SIP girls, it’s your choice of FWB (friends with benefits) or NMG (non-monogamous dating or non-monogamous girlfriend). 

If you truly want to have a stable NMG (non-monogamous girlfriend) situation, the minimum age the girl must be is around 25. 

Before then, she will certainly be seeing multiple guys and “finding herself” (of course, there are always exceptions). 

If she is younger than 25 and you have somehow convinced her to be monogamous with you, she will always wonder “what could have been”. 

That resentment will break a relationship. Ask me how I know.

Often, SIP girls will have two guys. They are more realistic about life and realize that they want the sex of an alpha and the providership of a beta.

Which do you want to be?

Obviously, you’re here, so I know. 

You want what I want, which is to have a regular supply of sex without the drama and emotional ups and downs of tying sex to one person.

Often, your relationships with an SIP girl will start as an FWB and within three months they’ll try and define the relationship.

Some girls will try and lock you down into a monogamous relationship (which of course, you should deny). 

Others will ask you to define the relationship and you can tell them that you really like them but will remain non-monogamous forever and it is not because of her.

You can then explain how society has brainwashed us into believing that we should be monogamous when non-monogamy is actually what will make all of us happy. 

Some women will never ask you to be monogamous, sleep with you, and get a boyfriend on the side. 

Congrats, you are in the sexzone!

DO NOT be jealous. 

The other guy is the beta she uses for gifts, companionship, complaining, taxi services and showing off to her friends, while giving him duty/pity sex.

Unfortunately, in this life we were only given the choice of being a sexzone guy or a friendzone guy. You cannot be both.

3. 30+: Lady Phase (LP) – Relationship Strategy

For LP girls, most will never accept a FWB. 

They may accept an NMG if you are very attractive, but you’ll find that you have to go on 4 or 5 dates before you ever sleep with them if not more, and you’ll have to jump through hoops for sure.

There is an exception to this, which some of you (and me) have experienced. 

If you are a young 20-something guy and you go after a cougar (a girl in LP), you may sleep with them as early as the first date!

What gives?

To an LP woman, she’ll never consider you for a serious relationship if you’re a lot younger than her. 

This means that the only thing she’s considering you for is sex!

This is often how more beta guys or newer players get their first FWB (the case for me for sure).  

LP girls are often not looking for extremely masculine alpha males, and less calibrated players do tend to come off as less masculine, by virtue of their inexperience.

To you older men who are worried about older women being notoriously difficult to seduce and not worth the effort, don’t worry!

There are women who specifically like older, attractive men, so if you keep yourself in shape, you’ll be slaying forever, albeit at a slower rate than when you were a young buck (not that you’ll mind when you have that young 20-something on your arm).

Why the hell are older women harder to seduce than younger women?

LP girls often have made an amalgam at this point in their life. 

An amalgam is a guy who is the fusion of all the best guys she’s ever been with, and if you don’t beat her amalgam you’ll never sleep with her. 

Some guys like the challenge though!

What if I want to get married, or want something more serious than an NMG?

If you want that, you’re going to have to go for a SNMG (serious non-monogamous girlfriend) or OM (open marriage) arrangement. 

Conclusion

To sum it up, women have three different life phases.

Once again, they are:

1. 18-23: Rockstar/party Phase (RP)
2. 24-29: Strong Independent Woman Phase (SIP)
3. 30+: Lady Phase (LP)

You should date women differently depending on the phase of life they’re in.

Doing this will maximize your happiness, and theirs.

Good luck!

-Helios

Traditional relationships are garbage.

Most people in traditional relationships (as defined by society) are miserable. Don’t believe me? Ask them! 

Ask them behind closed doors, away from prying ears and you’ll hear the truth. Most wish they never did it, or wish there was another way.

Here is what I mean when I say traditional relationships for men:

1. Having a traditional, monogamous girlfriend (GF)
2. Being in a traditional, monogamous marriage (TMM)

If you’re in a traditional relationship in the west, you’re doing it wrong!

For many people, however, it wasn’t their fault. They simply did not know that other options existed. They went by their societal programming, and what their parents (especially their mom) taught them, and ended up there.

So what are other options to traditional relationships?

Alt text: A 1950’s drawing of a traditional nuclear family. A standard, traditional relationship style that no longer works in the west.

A Better Way than Traditionalism

Many of you are wondering, I’m sure, how you can replace traditional relationships with a different model, something that works better for you.

Many men are pissed that they have to rely on the whims of one woman to get laid. This is one of the fundamental problems of traditional relationships.

Many men also have higher sex drives than the women they are with, and are simply not satisfied sexually with the sexual quantity that their partner provides them, even if they are sexual with each other.

Well, have I got some alternatives for you!

Here are three amazing ones: 

1. Friends with Benefits (FWB)
2. Non-monogamous girlfriends (NMG)
3. Serious non-monogamous girlfriends (SNMG)/ Open Marriages (OM)

These alternative relationships fix many of the problems that traditional relationships impose upon men.

They solve the sex problem, that’s for sure, but they also improve many women’s behaviour. I’ll explain in a sec.

Alternative 1 – Friends with Benefits (FWB)

Exactly what it sounds like, you’re friends, and you’re sleeping together, but there isn’t anything more serious to the relationship than this. 

The girl either knows you’re with other girls, or suspects and doesn’t care. Very often, with FWB’s, you don’t have to tell the girl you’re seeing about other girls. You date, and sleep together, have some casual conversation, and go your separate ways.

Obviously, if you have multiple FWBs you get all your sexual appetite satisfied, with none of the drama of sexual denial. It is very easy for you to stop seeing a girl who you’re only sleeping with and don’t know that well.

With a FWB, you only meet up and sleep together with very casual hanging out, there is no relationship stuff, really.

The true power of the FWB arrangement is that many women are held at threatpoint in this kind of relationship, very similarly to how men are held at threatpoint in a marriage.

The girl knows that if she misbehaves or is too annoying, you’ll instantly drop her for your other options, stated or not. This parallels marriage exactly. In marriage, men know if they step too far out of line, their entire life is gone, axed by divorce.

Notice however, that in a FWB arrangement, the woman simply loses access to an attractive man, and no loss of money or property happens. Which arrangement is worse for the other partner?

Certainly FWBs are not destructive the way TMM is.

The woman enters into a FWB arrangement knowing what’s going to happen, and no real loss, other than hurt feelings happen at the end of an FWB. It is almost always a clean break.

Something interesting also happens in FWB arrangements that many men, including myself,  have noticed: 

Women often ghost out of FWB arrangements. No drama-intense breakup occurs.

What this means for you, is that if you’re a drama-hating guy (and many men are), FWBs are amazing for you!

Something even more amazing often happens: 

If a girl ghosts out of an FWB with you, she’s bound to boomerang later. 

The strategy is simply to not message her ever for 4-6 months and then re-contact her. She will very often agree to a meet and sleep with you again like nothing happened. You can then resume the FWB, no problem!

What this means is, ironically, FWB’s are some of the most stable long-term arrangements you can get!

Over time, you can have a woman and in fact, several women for many years, albeit with small breaks as they try other guys and inevitably realise that you were the best of them.

The only problem with FWB arrangements is jealousy on the part of men (women are often not as jealous). Men often wreck FWBs by trying to control them.

Don’t.

Let her flit from flower to flower while you remain the rock and she will come back over and over. Many women desire stability, and will come back to you just to feel that sense of non-judgment and love that only an alpha like you can provide.

Important Note: She isn’t allowed to spend the night in this arrangement. It blurs the lines too much. Keep that in mind.

Some guys don’t like how casual this is, so here is an alternative for you guys who want something more serious…

Alternative 2 – Non-monogamous Girlfriend (NMG)

After about three months of FWB, most girls will ask to define the relationship. They’ll ask you something like “what are we”, or “where do we stand?”

If you don’t want something more serious, simply say “I like how things are going with us and I’d like things to continue like this”.

If you want something more serious, you have to have “the talk” with a girl.

You’ll have to tell her something like this:

“I like you very much, but I need you to know that I will always be with multiple women. You are totally allowed to want to be with someone who isn’t like this, but it will not be me. Of course, if you’re with me and you want to be with other men, you’re free to do what you want, I will not force you to be monogamous with me”

If she still wants to be with you, congratulations, you’re now in an NMG situation! 

Some girls will refuse and leave at this point, but it doesn’t matter, you had multiple girls anyway, right?

With an NMG situation, you are doing relationship stuff together, but not everything. 

Here are some examples of things you do in an NMG:

1. You “go out” together, as in, you watch movies, go to museums, restaurants, parties, etc.
2. You hang out at your place
3. You go on trips together, such as hiking and rock-climbing
4. You hang out with your friends and your NMG comes with you
5. You can let her spend the night at your place
6. You text her occasionally, to meet up

As you can see, many of these are exactly things that you would do with a GF, but here are some things you NEVER do with an NMG.

Here is a list to NEVER do:

1. Lend her money
2. Carry her purse
3. Go shopping with her (to buy things she wants)
4. Buy her expensive things
5. Introduce her to your parents
6. Tell her you love her
7. Text her every day

These are all things that put you in the beta/provider category. Once you’re firmly there, the disrespect begins and she’ll replace you with you, the guy she initially fell in lust with.

With a NMG, you get the best of both worlds. You can have a more serious relationship, while still being able to see and sleep with other women.

There is also the benefit of potentially having threesomes in this arrangement. Some of your NMGs will want to sleep with their acquaintances who are women, and you can happily oblige, benefitting from your non-monogamous and accepting frame.

Of course, even with an NMG, you have to be alright with her sleeping with other guys. 

You cannot hold a woman in a one-sided non-monogamous relationship.

As much as the harem fantasy exists in men, know that it is only maintainable for about a year before it breaks, and “your” woman feels heavy resentment.

Ask me how I know.

Here is a super important point:

Jealousy management is key to both FWB and NMG arrangements. In fact, if you can learn to control your natural male instinct to mate guard, you can get laid like you never imagined.

Always keep your non-needy, non-judgmental frame. Also make sure that you don’t give her details about other girls you’re seeing. You can tell her that you’ll always be with other girls, but no more. Details lead to super drama.

But Helios, what if I found that one special girl who isn’t like the rest and I want to get married?

If you get into a TMM (traditional monogamous marriage) arrangement with any girl, the word idiot isn’t good enough for you. You’re too far gone for advice at that point. Do you really want to sign your life on that dotted line?

There is no one special girl, but there are some that you can go even further with than NMG with.

Let’s explore that next!

Alternative 3 – Serious Non-Monogamous Girlfriend (SNMG) / Open Marriage (OM) Arrangement

Serious Non-Monogamous Girlfriends and Open Marriages are for older men only!

Let me repeat this two more times.

Serious Non-Monogamous Girlfriends and Open Marriages are for older men only!

Serious Non-Monogamous Girlfriends and Open Marriages are for older men only!

Seriously Helios? I can’t have a girlfriend until I’m older? 

I didn’t say that. Have as many NMGs as you like, but nothing more serious!

Helios, how old is old?

The minimum age for an SNMG or OM for a man is 35, though I would recommend 40.

But Helios! She’s 19, and I took her virginity and she loves me and says she always will!

Honeymoon phase, my son. Also, you can’t hold a teenager in a stable, serious arrangement.

Women are dream killers. 

Once you have a girl in a serious arrangement, you will make no more progress in life, especially if you have kids. Your time will be spent managing that relationship and spending money on kids.

No more travelling, or dreaming big.

I mean, that isn’t strictly true. If you use my SNMG/OM model, you still can do these things, but you’ll have a financial chain regardless (your children) that will hold you for at least 20 years if not more.

Here are some things to consider if you want a SNMG or OM:

1. You need a parenting plan, signed by a lawyer
2. All your finances should be separate
3. All property is owned by either one person, or the other, never both
4. Prenup
5. Divorce allocations should be determined before marriage, in the prenup
6. No co-leases/co-financing of anything
7. The man needs a logistical way to sleep with other women discreetly without super drama (a small apartment, or other venue)

And on top of that you need to be able to maintain frame and a positive disposition while living with the girl too.

Something very important about OM’s and SNMG’s is that you both agree to some rules. You can’t both do everything you want anymore. Here are the rules for an SNMG/OM:

1. You both can sleep with other people, but nothing more. No dates, no romantic dinners, no long strolls by the beach, no activities together, nothing. Just sex.
2. You both agree to certain rules around the house, such as who has to do which chores, and stick to it (on the basis of income)
3. You live together, but the lease/mortgage is only in one person’s name

SNMGs and OMs are not for the lighthearted, that’s for sure.

But Helios, if I just stay alpha and hold frame well enough, I can hold a girl in a TMM!

Yeah, you’re a fool. Humans are not monogamous. Life is not fair, deal with it!

How Old Should the Girl Be if I’m Considering a SNMG or OM with Her?

For an SNMG or OM, the absolute youngest a girl can be is 25, though I would recommend 27.

She’s too busy discovering herself, or being strong and independent before then.

The girl should be stable in her love of you and should not overly piss you off. You should also have some activities you both like doing together.

She should be alright with you sleeping with other women, and you should be alright with her sleeping with other men.

Conclusion

Traditional relationships, defined as the regular GF or TMM (traditional monogamous) relationships are terrible for men.

You should instead choose relationships that work better for you.

They are:

1. FWBs (friend with benefits)
2. NMGs (non-monogamous girlfriends)
3. SNMGs/OMs (serious non-monogamous girlfriends/open marriages)

These relationships can actually lead to long term, stable happiness!

Never sign your life on that dotted line…

Good luck 🙂

-Helios

Helios, woe is me, I’m in the friendzone, what will I ever do?

Does this sound like you?

I’m here to help!

Many guys struggle with the friendzone (or the provider zone, or the beta zone).

I’m here to teach you how to never be put in that box again.

But first, let me explain why you’re in that box in the first place.

Let’s go on a journey to the land of alpha and beta…

Alt text: A guy hugging a girl that just had a baby, with another guy. Oh god don’t let this ever be you…

Why You’re In the Friendzone 

Part 1 – The Different Kinds of Men 

There are three kinds of men: 

1. Alphas
2. Betas
3. Undesirables (Omegas)

Let’s talk a bit about each one of these, so you understand why the friendzone is even a thing.

Alphas: 

Alphas are the kings of the male hierarchy, women want them and men want to be them.

They are the winners.

Often they are attractive and non-needy. 

Alphas impose their will on situations and are usually charismatic. 

Alphas will often have multiple women, or at least, multiple women are interested in them.

These guys are quite experienced with women and can keep their cool around them, for the most part.

Alphas are risk takers and for the most part don’t fear rejection.

To women, alphas are extremely attractive.

Betas:

Betas are second-in-line in terms of the male hierarchy.

They are often quite intelligent, but clueless when it comes to behaviour around women.

They are often inexperienced and risk averse.

They have the ability to be alpha with some practice usually.

To women, betas are almost attractive. 

Some women settle for betas, but don’t enjoy the experience (duty sex anyone?).

Undesirables (Omegas):

These men are such losers in terms of sexual dynamics that they literally don’t exist to women.

They might as well be invisible.

Undesirables sometimes have debilitating conditions which make them unable to be even somewhat attractive (and it is a crying shame that they’re never given a chance), or they’ve given up on life, such that they’ve let everything go, and thus are not competitive in any way, in any field.

If you fall into the omega category, know that it isn’t impossible to get out, it is simply MORE effort than for a beta.

Alt text: The three types of men. Alphas, betas and omegas. Top, close to top, and losers.

Part 2 – The Type of Man that Gets Put in the Friend Zone

Only one category of man gets put in the friend zone: The Beta

Alphas get put in the sex or date zone immediately, but betas just missed the mark with that girl, for whatever reason.

As a result, she holds the guy as a backup, but he was never in the actual running to have sex with her.

What this means is the following:

If you are in the friendzone, you were just not alpha enough for that particular girl. You almost met her alpha criteria, but not quite.

There is a huge problem here for men. 

The problem is this:

If you are put in the friendzone, there is less than a 10% chance you can break out.

Once a woman has categorized you as a beta. You’re done. You have practically no sexual chance with that girl.

There is a silver lining to this, however:

If you are constantly being put in the friendzone by multiple women, it means that you’re NOT in the undesirable category.

You are desirable, you simply need to change a few behaviours to be put in the datezone/sexzone (alpha category) instead.

Let me show you how!

Alt text: This is Freddy Mercury. If you had his inspirational godly confidence, you’d be an alpha too!

Part 3 – Comparing Alphas and Betas

Before I show you how to break out of the friendzone, let me put some alpha and beta behaviours side by side to show you how they’re different.

Keep in mind that when you do beta behaviours, you signal to a woman that you’re almost good enough for her sexzone. 

If you’re beta, you’d be a good provider for her later, when she’s sick of all that alpha dick.

Sound like something you want? I didn’t think so!

Here are some typical beta traits (things to avoid at all costs):

1. Getting stuck on one specific girl
2. Being timid
3. Being overly available
4. Kissing up to women
5. Doing whatever a woman tells them
6. Texting the girl he likes all the time
7. Spending too much non-sexual time with women they like
8. Talking to women about their guy troubles
9. Doing no exercise
10. Being overly emotional
11. Having no life or real hobbies

Here are some typical alpha traits, by contrast:

1. Sleeping with multiple women
2. Being confident
3. Being unavailable (including emotionally)
4. Is who he is, regardless of the woman he’s with
5. Does what he wants to do, regardless of what the woman he’s with wants
6. Not being available to text except for logistics
7. Spending his time having sex with women he likes
8. Does not talk to a girl about her guy problems
9. Exercises frequently (at the gym or a good martial arts/boxing dojo)
10. Is unemotional/stoic
11. Lives a fulfilling, great life 

So, how do you break out of the friendzone?

That is an interesting question…

Alt text:I don’t always get friendzoned, but when I do, I get benefits. -Dos Equis 🙂

Breaking Out of the Friendzone

I have bad news.

If a woman has put you in the friendzone, you only have a 10% chance of success.

But it CAN work.

Here are the steps to breaking out of the friendzone…

Alt text: A jacked dude bending the bars of the cage he’s in. Perhaps he doesn’t want to be a beta anymore?

Step 1 to Breaking Out of the Friendzone – Ghost the Girl You Want to Fuck for 6 Months

WHAT?

Helios, you just said I get to sleep with her, what do you mean I have to ghost her?

Right now, my son, you’re in the friendzone.

She needs time to forget about you.

The first step to breaking out of the friendzone is ghosting the girl you want to sleep with for at least 6 months.

NEVER contact her, even if she texts you. NO CONTACT. None.

And now, it begins, the hard part…

Step 2 to Breaking Out of the Friendzone – Work on Yourself

Wait, what?

I thought Helios, that there was an easy way to break out of the friendzone!

There is.

Once you’ve been friendzoned, just go sleep with another girl. You have a much better chance at sex with a new woman, who you can make a better impression on. 

Just cut your losses.

But if you really want that one, you’re going to have to improve yourself.

All of those beta things you were doing with that one special girl?

You need to train yourself to never do those again.

Here is that list again.

List of behaviors to DELETE:

1. Getting stuck on your one special girl
2. Being timid
3. Being overly available
4. Kissing up to her
5. Doing whatever she tells you
6. Texting her all the time
7. Spending too much non-sexual time with her
8. Talking about her guy troubles with her
9. Doing no exercise
10. Being overly emotional
11. Having no life or real hobbies

You have to delete all your bad habits! Here’s a list of what to replace them with…

You replace those behaviours with:

1. Sleeping with multiple women
2. Being confident
3. Being unavailable (including emotionally)
4. Being who you are, regardless of what women want
5. Doing what you want to do, regardless of what women want
6. Not being available to text except for logistics
7. Spending your time having sex with women you like
8. Not ever talking about her guy troubles with her
9. Exercising frequently (at the gym or a good martial arts/boxing dojo)
10. Being unemotional/stoic
11. Living a fulfilling great life 

6 months later, you message that one special girl again.

If you’ve worked on all the areas in the alpha category, congratulations, you’re no longer the beta she knew.

At this point, you probably have a roster of 2-3 other women that you’re sleeping with that see you as their amazing alpha. Congrats. The confidence that instills in a man is amazing!

This brings me to the next part! The true hard part of breaking out of the friendzone…

Alt text: That one special girl. The one you’d do anything for that friendzoned you. Time to break out!

Step 3 to Breaking Out of the Friendzone – Fighting her Frame

You thought it was over right? 

Once you’ve worked on yourself and become a different person, you thought that the sex would come on tap?

Wrong.

Despite all your work, effort and strategy, she STILL won’t believe you’re this new person.

If you’ve recently changed your personality, she’s going to throw every shit test in the world at you.

She’s going to try and piss you off. 

She’s going to talk about other guys.

She’s going to try and text you all the time.

She’s going to complain about her guy trouble to you.

She’s going to say that you’re not this alpha guy and she hates who you’ve become (guilt).

Everything she’s doing has one purpose:

If you’ve changed your personality, she shit tests because she’s trying to pull you back to your older loser self. She wants you to be the man who kisses her ass and does everything she wants.

If you do? You’re done.

And not only are you done with her, but with all her friends too. She’s going to tell them ALL about what a fake you are.

Hold strong to your new self!

Tough right?

If you manage to hold, THEN you can turn her into your friend with benefits (FWB)!

Here’s how…

Alt text: You’ve passed all of her tests. Now it’s time to turn her into a friend with benefits!

Turning that One Special Girl into a Friend With Benefits (FWB)

Step 1 to Turning that One Special Girl into a FWB –  Setting up the First Date

I’m sure I have some of you guys foaming at the mouth with such a bold flip of the script.

Here’s how you turn her into your FWB.

Step 1 is simple.

You ask her to meet for a first date at some neutral place like a coffee shop.

Text only for logistics (don’t have any long conversations about meeting up, just tell her the time and place).

Here’s an example of a text script you could use to set up this first date:

You: Hey, what’s up?

Her: Nm, you?

You: I’m doing fantastic! What you get up to this week?

Her: I went for a hike by the ravine and got a new puppy!

You: Awesome, is he cute? We should totally meet up! How about we meet at *insert place here* at *insert time here*. We’ll go for a chill walk/we’ll grab a coffee, etc.

Her: Sure!

Simple as that.

Alt text: This hot girl agreed to go on a first date with you, and you’re not in the friendzone anymore. Amazing!

Step 2 to Turning that One Special Girl into a FWB –  First Date Strategy

On the first date, you CANNOT do anything sexual.

Helios, why are you torturing me like this?

Unless you want this to be a one-time-thing (ONS), and her to bounce, you cannot do anything sexual on the first date.

Instead, you have a short date for about an hour, where your only goal is to establish rapport. 

You want her to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling she gets when she meets a new guy she’s interested in.

Once she gets that, cut the date short.

Congratulations, now she wants more!

DO NOT text her the same day as your first date unless she messages first.

You can text her the next morning. 

The real fun can begin now…

Alt text: You just had an amazing first date with this stunner! You lucky guy, you 🙂

Step 3 to Turning that One Special Girl into a FWB –  Second Date Strategy

Message her the next morning after your great first date. Tell her how you enjoyed it. Set up another date for 1-3 days from now.

This time, invite her to your place.

You DO NOT tell her you’re going to have sex.

Just say you’re going to watch a movie, or play a boardgame, or listen to music, or play guitar, whatever.

Once she’s at your place, make sure everything is set up.

Your place should be relatively clean and the activity that you want to do together should be set up.

Start doing the activity that you had planned.

When things are going well, escalate sexually.

Watch her body language! If she’s receptive, finally, you can have sex with her.

Try and make her orgasm!

I don’t care how long it takes, or what you have to use, try!

Most women achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Use your tongue, your fingers, anything that works. Take as long as you need!

She CANNOT spend the night. That would lead to an NMG (non-monogamous girlfriend), and you don’t want that, you want a FWB right?

Almost done, but not quite…

Alt text: You finally slept with the girl of your dreams, congrats! It’s not over yet!

Step 4 to Turning that One Special Girl into a FWB –  Third Date Strategy

Text her the very next day. Make it very clear how much you enjoyed the time you spent yesterday.

Be very nice! DO NOT MENTION SEX.

Set up your next date for 1-3 days from now, inviting her to your place again.

Invite her to do an activity again, and do not mention sex in the text.

Do exactly the same thing on this date as the second. 

Do the activity you had planned, when it’s going well, escalate sexually.

Try and make her orgasm again.

SHE STILL CAN’T SPEND THE NIGHT. Or any night, for that matter. FWB’s don’t spend the night.

Congratulations, all of the hard steps are now done!

She is your FWB now and you only need to do one more thing to continue the arrangement…

Alt text: You’ve slept with this gorgeous girl twice? Without offering her commitment! Amazing. Almost done!

Step 5 to Turning that One Special Girl into a FWB –  Relationship Management

All that remains now is relationship management.

You need to slow down the texts now. 

From this point on, you text once per week, and ONLY for logistics.

You message her to come to your place and do some activity. Each time, it leads to sex.

You repeat this as long as you want!

After about three months, she is going to want to define the relationship. If you want it to continue as a FWB, you say:

“I really like how things are between us, I’d like things to continue as they are.”

If she agrees, good.

If she disagrees and leaves you, DO NOT CHASE!

She will boomerang back to you. Just don’t text her for 4-6 months, then reinitiate contact like nothing happened and invite her to your place again.

And that’s it!

Alt text: You lucky dog. Look at how this gorgeous girl is looking at you! What a great friend with benefits you are!

Conclusion

The reason you’re put in the friendzone is because you’re demonstrating beta qualities. 

Beta qualities disqualify you from a sexual relationship, and put you in the friendzone.

Alphas and betas are different, and you need to embody alpha qualities if you want to get laid.

If you want to break out of the friendzone, and turn a girl into your FWB, you first have to ghost her for a minimum of 6 months.

You then change yourself for the better and reinitiate contact later.

At that point, you seduce her, making sure that you don’t do anything sexual on the first date.

Once she’s your FWB, don’t worry about her leaving you, she’ll boomerang back later.

Good luck, and I hope this post helped you solve the friendzone problem!

Godspeed!

-Helios

Ah, the shit test.

I’ll bet you’ve never even heard of these!

Shit tests are extremely common.

I can guarantee you that you’ve been shit tested before. All men have been.

You just had no idea the game that was being played right beneath your nose…

Shit tests are where attraction can be built, or destroyed.

Before we dive into the details, let me take you back in time to the early 2000’s…

The History of the Discovery of Shit Tests

“Why Helios do we have to talk about history?

I just wanna get to the fun sex part!”

“My son, those that don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

Here is the story of Mystery and Style:

In the early 2000’s, there were some weirdos in Toronto that wanted to get laid.

They were called Mystery and Neil Strauss (Style).

Back then, there was no internet, or online dating. Certainly not how we have it now.

This meant that men who wanted to get laid had to go out to the bar (nightgame), or talk to women on the street (daygame).

These men, Mystery and Style, dressed very flamboyantly when they went out (Freddy Mercury style) in order to attract attention.

Obviously, they stuck out like sore thumbs with their peacocking and got made fun of like crazy, especially by women.

Here’s the thing though…

When they refused to bend to the women making fun of them, the women became attracted,  even interested in these weirdos.

Mystery and Style had an expression for the women shit-talking them to try and get them to balk.

Shit Tests!

What if I told you that you can look, dress and act however you want?

It’s true! You can. 

All you need is the ability to deflect bullshit people throw at you as a result of how you dress or act.

Once you’ve mastered the art of deflection, or verbal jiu-jitsu (thanks David D.), you’ll be unstoppable!

You’ll be like the OG’s, Mystery and Style…

Now we can get to the bread and butter of the matter. 

What are shit tests?

Understanding Shit Tests

Part 1 – Some Ancient History

A long time ago, when humans were still living tribally trying to eke out a living hunting animals in a world full of disease and danger, the test of whether you were an alpha or not was every day.

If you lived, you were alpha; if you died, better luck next time. 

Obviously if you died your genes didn’t pass on.

We still carry the genes of those hunters in us. 

Thank them! 

They’re the reason we like seducing women so much (it is just like hunting, isn’t it?).

As humanity became more advanced, and we became masters of our environment, the matter of survival was no longer in question.

Now, women had much greater choice in their reproductive partner, as many more men were surviving.

The problem was, they had no way to determine who was an alpha and who was beta anymore.

Thus, for good or ill, there evolved a cultural system for the determination of alpha and beta.

This is gonna blow you away:

Women evolved a system of teaching children how to act and behave.

From a young age, children were taught to treat women “respectfullÿ” or as a “woman should be treated”.

Let me translate this womanese for you:

From a young age, men are indoctrinated to FOLLOW THE ORDERS OF THEIR FEMALE MASTERS.

This is the system by which alpha and beta is determined. Do you see how simple it is?

Let me spell it out for you…

If you bend to the will of your female masters, and treat women as they tell you they want to be treated. You are BETA.

If you instead, treat women as they ACTUALLY want to be treated, and not how they SAY they want to be treated, you are alpha.

So what is a shit test?

Now we can actually talk about it…

Part 2 – What is a Shit Test?

A shit test is a girl asking you a question in womanese whether you’re alpha or not.

If you “get it”, and respond appropriately, you’re alpha and pass!

If you fail, you’re a beta.

Fail too many shit tests and attraction plummets like a stone.

No attraction, no sex.

The key to understanding how to pass shit tests is to understand the subcommunication underneath the message.

This is all sounding very esoteric at this point, so let me give you some actual examples so you can understand what I’m talking about.

Here’s a confidence booster for you: If a girl is shit testing you, it means she’s interested! You have a real chance of sleeping with this girl! Well done.

Part 3 – Some Examples of Shit Tests

Here is a list of some common shit tests. I’ve put them into categories, so when you encounter something similar, you know what you’re up against

1. Insults to your appearance:

• “Sorry, I don’t sleep with guys under 6 feet tall.”
• “You have moobs.”
• “You must have a really small dick.”

2. Insults about something you own:

“Eww, you play nintendo?”

“What’s with that jacket, those shoes, etc.”

“That hat though…”

3. Insults about your abilities:

“That was lame, you couldn’t even score that goal!”

“You couldn’t catch that ball if you tried!”

etc.

4. Situational shit tests:

You trip, and she makes fun of you

You stub your toe, slip on ice, etc.

You have trouble opening a jar and she laughs, etc.

You should be happy if you’re being shit tested. It means that you now have the opportunity to pass it and gain attraction. 

If you’re passing shit tests well, you’ll get laid!

Part 4 – How to Pass Shit Tests

There are two common ways to pass shit tests.

Here they are:

1. Agree and amplify
2. Reframe

1 – Agree and Amplify

Agree and amplify is a powerful technique that works extremely well on girls shit-testing you.

The idea is that you take what she says and make it ridiculous.

In this way, you’ve diffused her shit test, and even made a joke out of it!

Here is an example of agree and amplify:

Her: Your car has more scratches than an old record

You: You’re right, it’s the most scratched bangpad around!

Her: *Giggles*

Shit test passed!

And another!

Her: You’re an asshole!

You: I know, I’m the worst!

Her: At least you admit it

Shit test passed!

You’d be surprised how magically effective agree and amplify is. Try it!

2 – Reframe

Reframing is the idea of changing what she’s saying to suit you.

It is a type of verbal jiu-jitsu, a redirection of frame.

Here is an example of a reframe:

Her: You’re too tall for me

You: Giants are amazing, we can breathe the free air up here. Here, try it! *pick her up*

Her: *giggles*

Passed!

And another!

Her: You’re so mean

You: And a bane to my mortal enemies

Her: What?

You: The black knight takes many forms

Her: *giggles*

Passed!

Reframing helps you to redirect the conversation in a direction that favours you. Amazing!

Which of These Should I Use, Helios?

Try both reframing and agree and amplify and see which suits you more!

I personally prefer to agree and amplify, but both strategies are great!

Conclusion

In this article we learned about what shit tests are and why they exist. We also learned how to pass them with our two strategies:

1. Agree and Amplify
2. Reframing

Good luck out there. Use the strategies!

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions:

What is a Shit Test?

It is when a girl tests your alpha frame. If you remain calm, alpha and use the correct strategy you pass, and attraction increases!

What are the Strategies I Can Use If a Woman Shit Tests Me?

You can use agree and amplify or reframing! Scroll back up to the article for some examples.

What Happens If I Fail Too Many Shit Tests?

Attraction drops like a stone, and she’ll not be interested in you sexually. Likely she’ll friend-zone you.

How Do I Get Better at Passing Shit Tests?

That comes with practice. Once you know what to look for and you’ve been shit tested a few times, you’ll know how to reply.

Is It Only Women Who are Attracted to Me Who Will Shit Test?

Some women in your family might do it too, especially if you start to make big changes in your life. The strategies I talk about in the article (agree and amplify and reframe) work amazing even in those situations!