Tag: oneitis

Many men want to be better at getting dates and dating in general.

The problem is that many men are nervous to go up and talk to women.

This is called approach anxiety.

In this post, I’m going to give you 10 tips that can help you beat your approach anxiety!

Finally you’ll get to talk to those girls you’re interested in…

1 – Approach Her Immediately, Don’t Wait

Men are their own worst enemy sometimes.

Many men have the problem of getting into their own head.

Many men see a pretty girl and get so caught up in the minute details of what might happen they talk themselves out of approaching!

Follow these steps when you see a girl you want to talk to:

1. Figure out how best to approach her from the front
2. Think quickly of some opening line to say related to the venue you’re in
3. Approach!

This should take you no longer than 2 minutes! 

Do NOT stare at her the whole time while you’re making your plan.

An approach where you say “hey” is way better than getting into your own head and letting the opportunity slip past you

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take!

Rejection is way better than regret.

Just go up to her and practice! You’ll be happy you did.

2 – Cultivate Outcome Independence

Understand and internalize the idea that you’re not interested in this outcome or this girl in particular. 

You care about your success with women in general.

When you see that pretty girl, and you think of her as just practice in your journey to improve yourself with women, it takes a lot of pressure off.

It really is no big deal to get rejected.

Not everyone is going to like you, so what?

Once you’re good at approaching women, you won’t even remember all the girls that weren’t interested in you.

You’ll be too busy enjoying those that are interested!

Women respect and can feel an aura of “not giving a damn”. 

Once you have it, you’ll see what I mean!

You’ll have no problem talking to women once you know that there are plenty more around the corner.

3 – Be Non-Monogamous

When you have not committed yourself to only one girl, it makes it way easier to talk to new girls.

There is no guilt.

Also, it means that you likely have another woman or women you’re with already.

It is much easier to take risks when you have a secure base!

You can rest assured when you’re approaching new women that you’re still going to get laid whether you pass or fail with this particular girl.

In many ways, seduction is hardest at the beginning. 

Once you have two regular FWBs you’re seeing, everything else becomes much easier.

Once again, non-monogamy is an incredible advantage.

It helps you to be more courageous!

4 – Assume the Sale

A lot of guys get stuck on the idea that the girl won’t be interested in them.

They give up before they’ve even tried!

For most women, when you talk to them and try to get their number, even if they’re not interested, you’ll likely have made their day.

They’ll feel validated that someone was interested in them.

You’re doing them a favour by approaching!

Assume that women want you to talk to them (most of them do, and this is triply true if you’re attractive) and you’ll do way better with approaching in general!

Once you are talking to them, assume that they want to give you their number.

They should, since you’re an awesome guy with a cool life!

They deserve to have someone amazing like you there to sexually satisfy them!

If they reject you, they have no idea what they missed. 

Don’t worry, there is always another girl around the corner.

When one door closes, another door opens, after all!

5 – Assume An Upright, Confident Posture

It is psychologically proven that standing with an upright, “chest-out” posture improves our confidence.

You need to work on your posture. 

If you slouch regularly, it may be hurting you more than you think!

Practice standing fully upright, with your chest out, pretending you’re squeezing a pop can between your shoulder blades and looking 1000 metres ahead.

This proud, confident posture will make you feel more confident, easing your approaches. 

It will also make women you approach more receptive! Women want a confident guy!

If you have poor posture, it likely means your core is weak.

Work on that through exercise! 

You should be going to the gym or doing martial arts 3-4x every week!

6 – Get Yourself Into An Extroverted Mood

The way to get yourself into an extroverted, approaching mood is easy.

Ease into it!

Listen to some music you enjoy that pumps you up!

Afterwards, talk to low-risk people.

You could talk to someone working in a store, and transition your questions to them into a small talk conversation.

You could talk to that old dude in the elevator.

You could talk to that guy sitting near you on the bus. 

Whatever it takes to get you in a talking mood and knowing that people enjoy your company!

Once you’ve eased into it psychologically, approaching women will be much easier!

7 – Bring A Friend

Something that may work for you to ease your anxiety is to have a friend with you.

Make a contest out of approaching!

Say something like: “dude, I’m gonna go get that girl’s number” to your friend.

He’s likely going to reply by calling you crazy. 

You can prove him wrong by approaching, and you have a safe place to return to once you’ve finished.

It is all the more impressive to your friend if you actually succeed!

You can then dare your friend to do the same, and make a game out of it.

When you make it about the contest, and not about the girl, it takes the pressure off you to succeed, and will make your approaches much smoother and more successful!

You can always blame your friend if the girl finds it awkward too.

Say something like: “my friend dared me to do it.” 

She’ll laugh, and you can have a smooth exit, if things aren’t going well.

8 – Go To A Venue That You Really Like

If you go to a place where people are doing one of your favourite things, it will be much easier to be in a good mood.

When you’re in a good mood, approaching is much easier.

Let’s say you like jazz music. If you’re in a jazz club, listening to music you really enjoy, it will be much easier to talk to a girl there.

Also, she’s likely to have a common interest, which will make rapport on the first date easier!

Something else you could do is frequent a venue regularly. This will increase your comfort, and make your approaches easier.

For example, you could go to the food court in one mall and regularly make approaches there.

Your comfort will increase a lot if you keep going to the same place.

Make sure if you want to talk to women in any public venue that you have plausible deniability.

Don’t just walk up to random girls in the food court and talk to them. Have food with you, or a book, or whatever.

You want your approaches to appear spontaneous to an outside observer.

Also, don’t go to the mall food court and make 15 approaches. Make a maximum of 2, then change locations.

Try it!

9 – Look For Women Who Are Giving You IOI’s and Approach Them

It is much easier to approach a woman who is giving you indicators of interest than random girls.

Here are a few to look for:

1. A girl keeps glancing at you in the food court, in the bookstore, etc.
2. You’re sitting by yourself in an area, let’s say a mall, and a girl sits really close to you, in your line of sight.
3. A girl brushes past you in a public, non-crowded area.
4. A group of girls nearby to you starts talking really loud when you walk by.
5. A girl asks you for directions, or initiates conversation with you any other way.
6. A girl nearby to you seems overly fidgety or nervous, while having a relaxed facial expression.

These women have likely noticed you and are trying to get your attention!

Approach them!

You’ll see that they’re much more receptive to your approach.

I call it a “warm approach”, when you talk to a girl who’s giving you IOI’s that you’ve never met before.

Getting these girl’s phone numbers is way easier!

10 – Be Dressed Stylishly

It is much easier to approach women when you look good.

When you’re well dressed, you’re much more likely to feel confident.

You also will likely stand out in the venue you’re in. This means that you’re situationally alpha.

This will make the women you approach much more likely to want to talk to you!

Your approaches will definitely be easier as a result!

Make sure you’re looking and feeling your best when you go out, and approaching will definitely be easier!

Conclusion

Many men struggle with approaching women, but there are many things you can do to improve the odds of your approach!

Here is the list again:

1. Approach immediately
2. Be outcome independent
3. Be non-monogamous
4. Assume the sale
5. Be in an upright, confident posture
6. Get yourself into an extroverted mood
7. Bring a friend
8. Go to a venue you really like
9. Approach women giving you IOI’s
10. Be dressed stylishly

If you do even three of the items on this list, your approaches will be much easier. 

I would recommend doing most, or all of them.

You’ll notice that it is much easier to succeed when you follow this advice.

Good luck!

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions:

I Keep Getting Into My Own Head When I Want To Approach A Girl, What Do I Do?

Rather than think about it for hours, just go up and say hey!

Have a smalltalk conversation for 5-10 minutes then ask for her number.

Good luck!

I’m Really Interested In The Cashier At Lululemon, How Do I Get Her?

Talk to her!

If she’s not into you, there’s 100 more lululemon cashiers where she came from.

I Always Feel Down, And Have Trouble Approaching As A Result, Help!

Is it possible you have seasonal affect? Try one of those special lights!

Another option is, before you go out, listen to music that pumps you up, to change your mood.

You’ll feel much better when you have a roster of 3 women. 

Ask me how I know!

That Girl Sat Awfully Close to Me, Is That A Coincidence?

Nope!

Talk to her!

She’s trying to get your attention, dude.

I Have a Problem With Slouching, How Do I Fix It?

Core Exercises! 

Working out at the gym or doing a martial art regularly should also fix the problem.

Imagine you’re squeezing a popcan between your shoulder blades and look straight ahead (not down) as you walk!

Let’s be honest, a lot of men struggle with game.

Or are new to it.

If either of these things apply to you, then don’t worry, that’s what this guide is for!

Try applying the things here, and see your results improve with not much effort.

Of course, life is not all easy. 

You are still going to be rejected, especially at the beginning if you are first trying these techniques.

Fear not, however, you can succeed with enough practise!

1 – Do Not Compliment!

A lot of men struggle with women because they are quickly put into the friendzone.

You want to know why that is?

It is because men compliment women too much!

I would say that you NEVER compliment a woman on her appearance, and especially never do it if you haven’t yet slept with her twice.

If you do compliment a woman’s appearance, it instantly pushes the beta button.

Give a woman enough beta tells and you’re in the friendzone.

If you have an abundance mentality, you’ll never feel the need to compliment a woman, as you know that you’re doing women a favour by being with them.

Women sense and desire a strong male to be with them. It is very easy to come off as weak if you are constantly complimenting her.

She should be complimenting you!

2 – On Dates, Lean Back

A man who is confident does not feel the need to lean in on dates, or ever, really.

He is relaxed, taking up as much space as possible.

Women want to be with a man who is confident in his own skin.

You think someone who is confident leans in?

Leaning in subcommunicates that you need something from the other person.

Do you need something from this girl in particular? No!

If you consider the space you’re in as truly yours, you’ll relax and lean into it. That’s what you should be doing.

Lean back and take up as much space as possible!

Just project your voice more if the place is loud that you’re in.

Don’t worry if this girl doesn’t work out! 

There will be more where that came from…

3 – Always Carry Yourself With An Upright, Confident Posture

You know how I’m always saying that you should work out, or train at some kind of martial arts gym?

Well, training constantly will improve your posture.

Make sure that as you train, you work on your core, especially.

A strong core will give you an amazing, confident posture.

Carrying yourself in an upright manner like that will cause you to feel more confident!

Women will appreciate it too.

Here are three good rules of thumb for proper posture:

1. Imagine that you’re squeezing a popcan between your shoulder blades. This will give you that nice puffed out chest look and will un-slump your shoulders.
2. Stare 1000 metres ahead. You should not be looking at the floor as you walk, but straight out in front of you.
3. You should feel your core and your back engaged as you’re standing in proper posture. 

Try holding your body in this posture for a whole day. What you’ll notice is that you immediately feel more confident!

Also, if you have a gut, standing in an upright posture will hide some of it.

Obviously if you’re trying to seduce women, you shouldn’t have a gut and should be working towards losing it!

4 – Assume the Sale

Seduction is kind of like sales.

You’re trying to sell yourself as well as possible.

Obviously, if the product you’re trying to sell is yourself, you should believe that the product you have is good.

Believe in yourself and assume that others will like you for you as well!

There are many women out there that would love to meet and be seduced by you!

Don’t be discouraged that one specific girl isn’t interested!

We have to follow the adage:

“If you don’t believe in yourself, then who will?”.

Ultimately, it is up to you to have the confidence to believe in yourself.

When you feel it, the women you’re interested in will feel it as well!

This will improve your results greatly!

5 – Speak In A More Masculine Way

Having a masculine, confident voice will help you greatly in your quest for seduction!

Here are a few things to do to make your voice sound more masculine and to help you project it:

1. Try to speak in your lower range: 

Listen to your own voice, and actively try to lower the tone that you speak in. You’ll see that it is in fact possible for you to speak a little lower than you currently do.

2. Speak slower: 

Rather than rushing to say everything, slow down. If you slow the speed of your speech by about 20%, you’ll sound a lot more calm and confident.

3. Put pauses in your speech: 

When you’re speaking to someone, instead of saying “uh”,  stop speaking for the entire time it takes you to think. 

This pregnant pause will make the things you say more compelling to listen to! 

If you’re speaking with a group and you know they’re listening, purposely pause before you say the thing you wanted to say. 

You’ll feel them hang on your words! Very alpha 🙂

4. Try to project your voice from your diaphragm: 

You want your voice to resonate with the help of your diaphragm! As you talk, put your hand over your chest. 

If your chest is vibrating as you talk, you’re projecting properly. 

If your chest is not vibrating, it likely means you’re projecting through your nose. 

Practise speaking from your chest and not your nose.

5. Take a deep breath before you talk and breathe deeply in general:

Taking a deep breath before you speak gives you the air to be able to project your voice the way you want to.

You’ll be able to generate a booming alpha voice this way.

Practise all of these tips and you’ll quickly see a different voice come out of you, one that is much more masculine!

You’re welcome 🙂

6 – On Your First Date With A Girl, Break the Touch Barrier

When you’re out on your first date with a girl, you need to break the touch barrier.

You start with places that are the least intimate first, and then as you both feel more comfortable, you move on to slightly more intimate places.

Helios, how do I know when I should break the touch barrier?

When you feel like things are going well in your conversation, you can throw some touching in the mix!

Here are the least intimate places for touch:

1. Left or right shoulder
2. Upper back
3. Outside of hand

Here are slightly more intimate places to touch:

1. Lower back
2. Hands/fingers
3. Hips

You’re not going to go for any real intimate touching on the first date, as it is not a good strategy. 

Many women will feel slutty if you are too intimate too early and it will ruin your plans for getting a friend with benefits (FWB) later!

Instead, try to build rapport and break the touch barrier with the above areas.

You’ll be more intimate on the second date!

7 – Disagree With Her More

A lot of beta men struggle with being too much of a doormat.

Betas agree with everything the girl says, kiss her ass and her attraction drops like a stone.

The truth is that disagreement does not hurt your chances of getting laid.

An argument definitely will (before you’ve slept with her twice), but not disagreement.

You need to be your own man and stand strong.

There should be certain things you believe in that no matter what anyone says, you’ll never budge on.

Being a strong man is extremely attractive and disagreement hints that you’re strong.

You’re not going to agree with everything another person says.

That’s fine!

Don’t get into a shouting contest over it though!

Please don’t interpret this as me saying that you should insult women. 

An insulted woman will not fuck you!

Build rapport, but disagree when you truly do! You’ll be respected for it.

Respect does get a man laid!

Conclusion

Many men struggle, especially beta men, with game.

The tips I have given you will help you greatly in that regard.

To summarize, here are the 7 things you can do to improve your game instantly:

1. Do not compliment
2. Lean back
3. Carry yourself with an upright, confident posture
4. Assume the sale
5. Modulate your voice
6. Break the touch barrier
7. Disagree more

Practice these and also see my guide on starting from scratch!

Good luck!

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions:

I Think She’s So Beautiful, Should I Tell Her?

Hell no!

She’s been told from when she was a little girl that she’s beautiful.

You wanna be her doormat or her lover?

I Can’t Really Hear Her, What Do I Do?

Don’t lean in!

Tell her to speak up, or move closer!

Alphas lean back 🙂

I’m Slouching, Will That Stop Me From Getting Laid?

It sure as hell won’t help!

Practice carrying yourself with an upright posture!

Train martial arts or go to the gym!

Working on your core will improve your posture.

An ergonomic chair may help too…

I Have A Lot of Trouble Getting Laid On the Second Date, What Gives?

You’re probably not breaking the touch barrier on the first date!

Try breaking it when you know the conversation is going super well!

Start with a non-intimate place like her upper back or shoulder, then touch her hands later.

Comparing hand sizes is a fun one I do all the time, try it!

I Think Something She Said Is Stupid, Should I Agree Anyway?

Don’t tell her you think it’s stupid, but definitely disagree.

Showing her you have a backbone will help get you laid!

Ask me how I know.

We all want to get laid.

But you can’t just walk up to a girl and tell her that!

You need to get her phone number, or, if you already have her contact information, you need to know if she’s into you and set up a date!

On your date, you need to know if it’s going well.

How can you tell?

Many women aren’t direct about this.

Women subcommunicate interest in many ways, but often don’t say it directly.

Indicators of interest are a great way to tell if things are going well or not!

Here’s a list of ways that women subcommunicate that they’re interested in you…

Part 1 – Pre-Date Indicators Of Interest

1 – She Keeps Glancing At You, Then Looking Away

If you’re in a public place like a bookstore, and you notice that a girl is glancing your way multiple times, that’s your cue that you should talk to her!

She’s definitely interested!

This is especially true if she looks away once you look at her. She’s embarrassed you noticed!

That means that you’re making her feel things before a conversation has even happened. Excellent!

Go up and start a conversation!

People in general like to look at people they like. If you’ve never met her before and she keeps glancing your way, it’s a great sign!

2 – She Starts To Talk Really Loud With Her Friends When You’re Nearby

Have you ever noticed when you’ve walked by a group of girls that they turn up the intensity of their conversation?

This attention seeking behaviour means one of the girls in the group is interested in you!

Usually, it’s the girl that laughs as you walk by!

This means that you should talk to her!

The problem is that girls in a group are hard to talk to. 

You can try this though. Go up to the group and say:

“Hey guys, what’s going on? That conversation seemed pretty interesting!”

The girls are 100% going to react to you, especially that girl that laughed earlier.

Small talk with the group for 1-2 minutes, making sure you’re talking mostly to the boss. Then, ask the girl who’s the boss if you can borrow the girl you’re interested in for a few minutes.

Helios, how can I tell which girl is boss?

She’s the girl that answers the “hey guys” question. The other girls will defer to her in their body language as well.

Lead the girl you’re interested in away and have a 5-10 minute small talk conversation with her. Ask for her number. 

Then, take her back to the group, thank the boss girl, say bye, and go on your merry way.

If the boss girl rejects you, sorry, you’re SOL.

Groups of women are like that, I’m afraid.

3 – She Initiates Conversation With You, In Any Way

If a girl ever talks to you, unprompted, in public, for any reason, and she isn’t working in some store selling something, she’s interested in you.

It doesn’t matter what she says or how she says it.

She could say something as simple as “hey”, or something as mean as “there’s gum on your shoe”.

It doesn’t matter.

Girls don’t talk to strangers. If she breaks that rule for you, it’s a great sign!

That is a huge indicator of interest.

You want to spin her approach into a small talk conversation of 5-10 that leads to you getting her number!

4 – She Brushes Past You

If she brushes past you, and you’re not in a place as crowded as Times Square, you better believe that’s an indicator of interest.

She’s broken the touch barrier before you’ve even had a conversation!

It’s an amazing sign.

Approach that girl from the front, and start talking to her.

It’s likely that if she brushed past you, she’ll have her back turned. 

Just walk fast enough that she can see you out of the corner of her eye, then start your approach.

Again, have a small talk conversation that lasts 5-10 minutes (you can talk about the place you’re in, or something about her outfit), then ask for her number!

Part 2 – Indicators Of Interest On A Date

5 – She’s Smiling, Laughing and Having A Good Time

Most guys, even those who are inexperienced with women pick up on this one.

A girl would call this “clicking”. Everything just works.

It’s pretty obvious she likes you if she’s smiling, laughing and having a good time on the date.

If she’s liking what you’re doing, keep doing it!

You’re building the rapport and that warm fuzzy feeling that leads to great interactions between you two, now and in the future.

You’re very likely to sleep with a girl like this on the second date if you play your cards right.

6 – She Casually Brushes Up On You Or Bumps Into You Gently Multiple Times

If you’re walking with the girl and you feel that she’s brushing up on you and bumping into you multiple times, it means she likes being close to you.

She enjoys your presence and likes to be close.

It means that you’re very likely to be physically compatible.

This is an amazing sign and means that you’re very likely to sleep with that girl on the second date.

7 – She Asks You Questions About Yourself

If you’re having a conversation with a girl on a date, and asking her questions about herself, if she answers, and then wants to know more about you, that is a clear indicator of interest.

It means she is interested in getting to know you!

Women sleep with men that they are comfortable with. She wants to know more about you in order to become comfortable.

She’s doing the work for you by asking you questions about yourself and it is an excellent sign!

Simply answer her questions in minimal detail and redirect the conversation to her. 

You don’t want to be speaking for most of the time you’re on your first date (you want it to be 45 minutes her, and 15 minutes you out of 60).

8 – She Answers Your Questions In Detail

When on your date, if you’re asking her questions about herself, and she talks for a long time about anything you ask, it is a great sign!

An indicator of disinterest would be her answering your questions curtly and with barely any detail.

If she’s talking a lot about herself when you ask, you can rest assured that the date is going well.

Hilariously, she’ll think you’re great conversation if the conversation is 45 minutes her and 15 minutes you.

Women bond through talking. The more she’s talking, the more she feels close to you.

Practise active listening. That means that you’re reacting to what she’s saying with the emotions she’s showing you.

If she’s happy about something, reflect happiness back at her. If she thinks something is stupid, reflect that back at her.

You need to avoid agreeing with absolutely everything she says though. If she says something you don’t agree with, say you don’t agree, then redirect to a different topic.

You don’t want to be arguing on the first date, but you also don’t want to be a doormat!

Part 3 – Indicators Of Interest Through Text

9 – She Replies Immediately To Your Texts

If you send a text, and she replies within 5 minutes, it means that she’s really into you.

This is doubly true if you are super busy and don’t text, and so your texts are really spaced out, while hers are instant.

When you live a busy life that’s full, you’ll find that you simply don’t have time to text all the time, and you’ll naturally have this dynamic with many women you’re interested in.

Your texts should only be for logistics.

That means that you only text to meet up and not to be penpals.

You won’t get laid being a penpal. 

Ask me how I know!

10 – She Double, Triple, Or Quadruple Texts You

Any girl that sends multiple texts to you, while you’re only sending one is indicating interest.

The more texts, the more interest!

Personally, I have slept with EVERY girl who has quad texted me.

My record for texts sent in a row from a girl? 27. Yes, I slept with that girl, and NO, she wasn’t crazy. Just super into me.

Lots of texts in a group is a signal that the girl is super into you.

Strike while the iron is hot and set up a date!

11 – She Has Perfect Grammar In Her Texts to You

If she’s not an anal english major, her having perfect grammar is an indicator of interest.

Even with autocorrect, people texting generally don’t have perfect grammar.

If not one word is out of place, and the capitalization and punctuation is perfect, it means that that girl put in effort making it that way.

She would only put in that effort for a guy she was interested in!

It’s a good sign!

12 – She Always Capitalizes Your Name In Texts

Most people text in all lower case nowadays. 

If she is capitalizing your name, and everything else in the text is lowercase, it means that she feels she needs to capitalize your name.

This is doubly true if the grammar in the text is flawless, as I said above.

She’s showing you respect by doing that.

She doesn’t have to do that.

If she puts in the effort and shows you respect in that way, she is subcommunicating interest.

Autocorrect doesn’t tend to capitalize all names, so you can follow this advice if your name isn’t incredibly common.

Conclusion

Women have many ways of showing interest.

Many of these ways are indirect.

Knowing what some indicators of interest are will help you to capitalize on a girl’s interest and sleep with more women as a result!

Look for the indicators of interest and watch your success soar!

Good luck 🙂

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions

She Made Fun of Me In Front of Her Friends, Is She An Asshole?

Nope!

She’s a dominant who’s into you!

Go talk to her!

A Girl Bumped Into Me At The Supermarket, What Do I Do?

Talk to her!

She’s interested.

I mean, unless that supermarket was ridiculously crowded, in which case, it may have been an accident.

She’s Only Replying With One Word Answers On Our Date, What Gives?

She’s not that interested in you.

Not all girls will be!

That’s life.

Move on to better prospects.

I guarantee you there are girls out there that will enjoy spending time with you! 

She Sent Me 5 Texts In a Row, I Just Asked What’s Up, What Do I Do?

Set up a date, dude!

She’s super into you!

Strike while the iron is hot.

She Didn’t Reply to My Initial Text, What Do I Do?

Wait 2-3 days, then send another one. 

If she doesn’t reply to that one, she’s gone.

Message your other options!

We’re not all experts at seduction. None of us start that way.

Many men that are new to seduction or are less experienced with women often struggle with this simple question:

How do I get a girl’s number? Once I have her number, how do I get a date?

Obviously, if your goal is to get laid, you need some way to contact the girl.

Her phone number is an easy one.

The problem is, you can’t just go up to a girl and ask for her number.

There needs to be a little preamble first.

Luckily for you, you have me…

Part 1- How To Get A Girl’s Number

1 – The Talk Leading Up To Asking For A Girl’s Number

There are two places that you could get a girl’s number, generally:

1. In person
2. Online

The talk leading up to getting the girl’s number changes depending on which place you’re talking to the girl in.

If you’re talking to a new girl in person, we’re talking about daygame.

If you’re talking to a new girl online, we’re talking about online game.

Let’s elaborate on the two approaches and how you should proceed for each one…

2 – Getting A Girl’s Number In Person

A lot of guys find approaching in person tough, but if you follow the rules, you’ll be ok.

Let’s say that you’re in a bookstore and you see a pretty girl whose number you’d like.

Here’s the steps to what you’re supposed to do:

1. Approach her: 

You want to go right up to her and talk. 

NEVER approach a girl from behind. This is especially true if you’re a big guy. You’ll scare the hell out of her. 

She has to see you out of the corner of her eye at least, so approach from the front, or diagonally from the front.

2. Mention something about the venue or the item she’s holding to initiate the conversation:

You want some natural, plausibly deniable reason why you’re talking to her.

If she’s reading a book, ask what it’s about, or who the author is. Something like “Hey, what you reading?” OR “Hey! I’ve heard of that author, he/she’s great!”

3. Mention that you have to go soon.

Giving a time constraint takes the pressure off the girl. She knows you’re gonna leave, so she doesn’t have to make it awkward!

4. Talk to her for about 5-10 minutes about the topic you initiated.

Basically, you’re having a normal small talk conversation related to the common interest you have at that venue.

If you do this right, and you can tell by her body language if you are, she’ll see you as a normal, brave dude, who’s interested in the same thing as her.

5. Try to fit in some kind of joke or something you like about her during this 5-10 minute conversation. It CANNOT be her appearance that you mention liking (you can say you like her ring, or her necklace, or her outfit, whatever, but NOT her eyes, her body, etc.).

This builds rapport, which is extremely important if you want to eventually get her number.

Do NOT get too personal too quickly. 

Compliment her on something a grandma might compliment her on, NOT her appearance!

6. After 5-10 minutes of normal conversation, you’re going to tell her you have to go, but you’d like to talk to her more. Open your phone to a blank new contact page, hand her the phone and tell her to add herself.

If she does it, congrats, you’re in! 

If she gives any kind of excuse for why she doesn’t want to, don’t push it! Say it was nice to meet her and walk away. 

She rejected you nicely. Don’t worry, you’ll do better next time!

7. Politely excuse yourself and leave the venue.

Once you’ve gotten her phone number, you don’t want to linger. 

Go somewhere else and leave the girl alone! You want her to think about the pleasant conversation you had, and not that you creepily hung around after.

Approaching in person really is that simple!

Now, on to online dating…

3 – Getting A Girl’s Number Online

For a more in depth guide, see my guide on how to get a FWB online.

Online is different from in person.

You’re not going to ask for her number, you’re actually going to pitch a date, and then ask for her number.

Here are the steps to getting a girl’s number online:

1. Message her with your opener:

A good opener is this one:

“Hey ______, you seem fun 🙂 You should message me! – Your Name”

This one is good because it has a call to action. Also, it makes her want to qualify herself, since you said she “seems” fun.

Also, it isn’t an opener that everyone online is using. Most NPC’s just say “hey”, or “sup”.

2. After she answers your opener, reply to her reply, then ask her a fun question text:

Here is an example fun question text you could send:

“If you were stranded on a desert island alone, what would be two things that you would bring with you? I have some good guesses, but I’m sure you know better :)”

3. When she replies to the fun question text, reply to her reply, then pitch the date:

Example date pitch:

“We should totally meet up 🙂 How about we meet at *insert place here* at *insert time here*. We’ll go for a chill walk/drink/hangout.”

I follow a model that gets the girl to decide quickly if she likes you or not.

If she doesn’t agree to meet by the third exchange, she was a timewaster anyway, and you saved time by ending the conversation there.

4. After she agrees to come on the date, reply to her reply, then send her your number:

Example text to send:

“Nice! Text me at (111) 222 3333.”

As you can see, getting the phone number online is harder, but let’s be real, it takes less balls.

Also, notice that we’ve set up a date! No more work is needed, except one thing. 

You have to send her a confirmation text the day of the date, to make sure she’s showing up.

At 9-10am the day of your date, just message her with the details of the meet again.

Say something like:

“Hey *her name*! I’ll see you at *insert time here* at *insert place here* :)”

Now, let me show you how to text in order to get a girl to come out on a date if you’ve gotten her number in person…

Part 2 – Setting Up A Date With the Girl Who’s Number You Got In Person

Step 1 – The Opener

So you want to go on a date?

First, you’re going to need to set it up!

You need to send the girl an opener if you want to meet up.

You want to send her this opener the day after you got her number.

The key to the opener here is you need to reference that initial conversation you had when you met. 

Say something like this:

“Hey *girl’s name*, it’s *your name*, that guy you met at *insert venue here*! We talked about *insert author’s name here* 🙂 What’s up?”

When she replies, our goal is to get a date set up within 3 messages…

Step 2 – Continue the Conversation In A Fun Way

When she replies to you, reply to her reply, and then ask her this:

“Doing anything fun this week?”

This message is great because if she is doing something fun, she’ll get a bunch of good feelings talking about it. If she isn’t, then you pitching her a date will give her some fun this week!

Fun and fun! Amazing.

Step 3 – Finally pitch the date

If she replied to the message you sent her about doing something fun this week, then it’s time to pitch the date!

Reply to her reply, and then send her this:

“We should totally meet up 🙂 How about we meet at *insert place here* at *insert time here*. We’ll go for a chill walk/drink/hangout.”

If she replies to this and agrees, great! You’ve got yourself a date!

If she doesn’t reply, tough luck.

She may not be interested in you. Luckily for you, you haven’t wasted any time really!

Time to move on to the next option…

A reminder: text her the day of your date at 9/10am, reminding her of where and when you’re meeting.

If she replies to your confirmation text, excellent! Go have your date!

But what if she doesn’t…

Part 3 – What to Do If She Flakes

Part 1 – Send Her A Reboot Text

If she doesn’t reply to your confirmation text, she’s flaking. If she flakes, you change your plans for yourself, and try a reboot text.

A reboot text is when you try and set up a new date with a girl who’s flaked.

Send these texts 1-2 days after she flaked.

Don’t get your hopes up. If she’s flaked once, she’s liable to flake again.

A reboot text follows exactly the same pattern as the online dating text pattern above.

I’ve pasted it here for convenience:

Opener:

Hey ______, you seem fun 🙂 You should message me! – Your Name

Fun Question:

“If you were stranded on a desert island alone, what would be two things that you would bring with you? I have some good guesses, but I’m sure you know better :)”

Date Pitch:

“We should totally meet up 🙂 How about we meet at *insert place here* at *insert time here*. We’ll go for a chill walk/drink/hangout.”

Part 2 – Cultivate Other Options

You wouldn’t really care if a girl flaked on you if you had other options to date.

I recommend that you make many approaches to fill your funnel with potential women so that flaking isn’t a big deal.

A good bet is to approach 100 girls in person, or 350 girls online.

Make sure that your 100 in person approaches aren’t in the same venue, or at the same time one after the other. 

People are going to think you’re creepy if you’re at the bookstore to pick up girls and not to get a book.

The in person approaches should be natural. Wherever you happen to be while you’re doing your errands, you slot in an approach or two.

Conclusion

Getting a girl’s number is easy if you know how to do it.

The way you get a girl’s number changes if you’re in person or online.

In person, you want a conversation no longer than 5-10 minutes before you get a girl’s number.

Online, you want an exchange of no longer than three messages before you pitch your date.

Make sure that you send a confirmation text the day of your date so that you can verify if the girl is flaking or not.

If she flakes, you can attempt a reboot text.

You don’t have to worry about girls flaking on you if you have a large network of girls you’re seeing.

Make approaches to fill your funnel of women!

Good luck and have fun on your dates!

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions:

How Do I Talk to That Pretty Girl Over There?

From the front, preferably.

Mention something from the venue you both are in to initiate the conversation.

Don’t talk too long and get her number! She’s busy too!

She Said She Had a Boyfriend and Didn’t Give Me Her Number, What Do I Do To Get Her Number Anyway?

She’s not interested!

Move on to a new prospect!

My Girl Didn’t Reply to My Confirmation Text, Do I Still Go to the Place We Planned On Meeting At?

Nope!

If she didn’t answer the confirmation text and ends up showing up anyway, she’ll see that she didn’t reply to you and feel guilty.

She might even apologize and chase you as a result.

This is not a bad result for you.

A bad result would be you showing up and her flaking. That would be awful and a waste of your time. 

Don’t waste your valuable time!

Helios, She Keeps Messaging Me, What Do I Do?

Have you fucked her yet?

If you’ve fucked her twice, you message her once a week, for logistics only.

If she wants to have long penpal conversations before you’ve had sex, you need to reply very seldom and with few words.

No penpals!

Texting her a bunch before you’ve had sex puts you in the beta/friendzone. Don’t go there.

Always limit your texting with women you’re trying to sleep with.

She Didn’t Reply to My Reboot Text, What Do I Do?

Wait a week, then send another one. 

If she doesn’t reply to that one, she’s gone.

Message your other options!

If She Doesn’t Reply, Do I Keep Texting?

Are you a needy beta? Then yes!

Otherwise, no!

Don’t EVER double or triple text a girl. It is needy.

If she doesn’t reply the first time, you spend your time messaging other girls.

Many men fall prey to oneitis.

It is a common condition.

Societal programming is incredibly strong, after all…

Oneitis is responsible for the misery that many men experience in their lives, especially beta men.

What if I told you that there is a way to get rid of oneitis, and to prevent it altogether?

Would that be something you’d be interested in?

If you are, read on…

Part 1- Oneitis Explained

1- What is Oneitis

Oneitis is defined as the thought that one specific girl is special.

That she’s different and better than the rest.

That she’s your one and only and without her, you’ll never be happy.

That she’s the one that got away.

She’ll be the mother of your children and future wife.

She’s an angel and the embodiment of everything you love about women, with none of the downsides.

She’s your fantasy come to life.

Oneitis is a powerful falsehood, created by societal programming and disney in order to brainwash you into doing stupid things (like commiting to just one girl in a relationship).

2 – How Do I Know I Have Oneitis?

Many men want to know if they have oneitis. It is a relationship wrecker, after all.

Think you have it?

If one or several of the items on this checklist apply to you, you definitely have it:

1. You start to consider her for all the Disney things (traditional monogamous marriage, traditional girlfriend, etc.)
2. You think that the rules don’t apply to her.
3. You believe that you can behave however you like and she’ll still be with you.
4. You think she’s special and different.
5. You drop your other girls for her.
6. You do everything you can to please her.
7. You message her all the time, even though you don’t normally do that.
8. You think about her all the time.

Oneitis is probably the worst thing that can happen to a man.

It rocks the foundation of your masculine frame and threatens to ruin you permanently if you don’t address it!

It is very important to identify if you’re experiencing oneitis.

Try these tips if you believe you’re suffering from it…

Part 2 – How to Be Unaffected By Oneitis

1 – Be Outcome Independent

Probably the most helpful thing a man could do to improve the rest of his life is to understand and apply the concept of outcome independence.

This is the idea that you don’t care about this one particular outcome.

You care about the big picture.

One girl doesn’t matter, your ability to seduce women (plural) matters.

One social situation or date doesn’t matter, you want to get better in general at dealing with social situations or dates.

You understand that failure and pain are a part of life, and you embrace that.

You take pain and rejection on the chin, knowing that it is an important aspect to your life and growth.

You suffer for the final goal, and don’t worry about the failures along the way.

You have internalized the concept of:

“It’s not over until I win”.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to think about the big picture and not individuals on your path to success. 

The only way to get better with women and with anything in life, really, is to suffer and struggle.

Repeat this to yourself over and over:

This particular situation doesn’t matter, my ability to deal with this situation in general matters. I need to practice in order to get there. I understand that I will struggle along the way. I’m OK with this.

When you understand that you’re going to screw up with women, you understand that no one woman can control your path to greatness.

There is no one special woman who will solve all of your girl problems. 

What will solve your girl problems is your masculine ability to struggle and fight in order to be great.

You’re going to meet great girls on this path. None of them will be an angelic perfect girl who’s not like the rest. They are all flawed, as you are.

Internalize this and don’t hate that the world is the way it is. 

You didn’t get to choose the world you were born into, you simply must adapt to the cards you’ve been dealt.

Your life will improve immeasurably once you’ve internalized these facts!

2 – Be Non-Monogamous

Non-monogamy is defined as never committing to one girl whole-heartedly.

You might like, or even love one girl more than the rest, but you still have girls on the side.

In fact, I would say that for many men, they are unable to love multiple women at once. They can only love one.

Of course, nearly every man is able to and in fact wants to sleep with many women simultaneously.

Love and lust are two different things.

Lust, unfortunately cannot be ignored, no matter what other women or books tell us.

Non-monogamy helps to prevent oneitis because as you become more experienced with women, you realize that they’re all flawed, like you are.

There is no disney princess angel out there. There are only flawed women, some less flawed than others.

It is perfectly alright for some women to be in the running for a more serious relationship with you, while others are less qualified.

It is perfectly allowed for you to have a serious, non-monogamous relationship with a girl.

Just don’t have any illusions about the fact that she’s human, like you.

When you’re realistic about your relationships and what to expect from a partner, you’re much more likely to have an enjoyable relationship full of peace.

When that relationship no longer serves your needs, you can end it amicably.

Oneitis prevents all of this.

I want you to have a life full of love, sex and peace.

Don’t you?

Non-monogamy is the way!

3 – Have A Well-Rounded, Full-Life

When I say that you should have a well rounded life, here is what I mean you should cover:

1. You should have your living expenses covered and have a space of your own
2. You should have some way of getting food and paying for it
3. You should have some sort of job or mission in life that you enjoy and that brings income 
4. You should have a hobby, or hobbies that make you happy
5. You should have friends that make you happy
6. You should exercise regularly and intensely (a minimum of 4x per week)
7. You should have multiple women that you’re having sex with who make you happy
8. You should spend time with your family relatively regularly and have a good relationship with them (if you can)

Notice how many things there are on this list!

Women are not the only thing that makes a man happy!

Oneitis is the false belief that a woman can fill all the holes in your life. That there exists one special girl who is the solution to all of your problems.

The reality is that the solution to your problems lies in solving ALL of the things in the above list.

Getting a girl you really like only really solves number 7 (and not even that, as one sole girl being your source of sex will make you miserable in the long term).

A complete, well-rounded life will make you happy and fulfilled as you realize that you have huge potential and impact on many spheres of existence.

If you haven’t attempted to solve all of the above points on the list, you’re really missing out on a lot of what life has to offer.

I want you to live a full, exciting, engaging life full of love and happiness.

No girl is going to give you that. Women will add to it, that’s for sure. But give you every happiness imaginable?

That’s a ridiculous falsehood perpetuated by people that are trying to sell you a dream, and not reality.

Work on all aspects of your life and watch as incredible things you never imagined happen to you!

Conclusion

Oneitis is the false belief that one woman can solve all your problems. It is the belief that there is one special girl out there who is a perfect angel that was made just for you.

That is a falsehood, being used to trick you into becoming a beta slave.

You can prevent oneitis by the following things:

1. Outcome independence
2. Non-monogamy
3. Living a well-rounded full life

The road to happiness exists for all people willing to walk it. It simply requires effort and dedication that the average person lacks.

Are you willing to live a life of quiet desperation just because other people are doing it too, or are you willing to suffer in order to rise above the bullshit?

Ultimately, the decision is yours.

Godspeed!

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions:

Helios, I Just Slept With a 19 Year Old Virgin From My Culture Who Says She Loves Me And Has Good Parents, Is She Different?

She may be more compatible with you. I’d consider making her a non-monogamous girlfriend (NMG) to start!

Is she a perfect little angel with no flaws who will solve all your problems and give you all the sex you require as an alpha male?

No.

There’s This One Special Girl, Who’s Not Like the Rest, Can I Date Her?

As a non-monogamous girlfriend (NMG), yes!

As a monogamous girlfriend (GF), hell no!

This is literally a post about oneitis, come on man…

Isn’t The Whole Point Of Game To Be Able To Find That One Special Girl?

There is no one special girl.

Get a roster of 3 special girls that you like in different ways, all of whom you sleep with.

Come back to me when you’ve done it and tell me how you feel.

Happy? I thought so!

Helios, There’s This One Girl, And She’s So Hot, And I’ve Slept With Her! I Want To Drop My Other Girls, This One Is So Much Better!

NEVER drop your other options, even if you have what you think is a superior one.

When she leaves you out of frustration that you’re not her little beta bitch, you’ll thank me.

Don’t be monogamous, dude.

I Want That Girl Over There Who I’ve Wanted Her Since I Was A Young Man. Will Practising The Things Here Get Me Sex With Her?

Maybe, but probably not.

If a girl knew you since you were a kid, she’ll likely never see you as a sexual prospect.

That’s a part of human biology, I’m afraid.

Go for a girl who reminds you of her that you didn’t grow up with!

You’ll be happy you did 🙂

So you’re new to this, huh?

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!

This stuff changed my life.

I hope that it helps you succeed in ways you never imagined.

I hope you become the man that you’re always known you were.

I’ve found 12 strategies that you can use as a total beginner to start you on your seduction journey. These will help even if you’re totally new. 

These are good even if you’re a virgin, or just coming out of a long relationship.

Use these strategies and soar!

Here we go…

Strategy 1 – Focus and Change Your Schedule

Right now, you want to become an effective seducer. That means that it is one of your life goals. 

You treat this as seriously as a job.

Your goal is to make this one of your main areas of your life and it is going to take up some serious time as a result.

Believe me when I say that the time investment is worth it.

Your life will never be the same once you’ve gotten good at this.

The things you dream of, sexually, are attainable, but take work to acquire.

Unfortunately, this means that you’re going to have to put some stuff aside in order to do this.

You’re going to need at least 10 hours a week of study/in field practise.

Set up your schedule so that you have time for this.

This first step is key. You want to practise, guilt free.

Strategy 2 – Lose Some Weight (15-45 lbs)

If you’re reading this and you’re overweight, you’re going to need to set up a routine where you lose weight.

This means that you need to control your intake of food.

Personally, I do intermittent fasting.

This means that I skip a whole meal, every day.

If you cut dinner for example, and keep everything the same, you’re bound to lose weight.

Your goal is to achieve at least an average body in terms of BMI.

Look up a BMI calculator online, and solve this for yourself.

For some people, they’re going to have to lose 15 pounds, and for others they may need to lose 30-45.

Believe me when I say that losing weight will improve your confidence, but also, will improve your appearance. 

Losing weight will make you much more attractive to women, and more likely to succeed in your attempts at seduction!

Strategy 3 – Lift Weights or Join a Martial Arts Dojo/Boxing Gym

You’re going to need to do something for the rest of your life that makes your muscles beautiful and gives you vitality and power.

Women are attracted to this.

Sign up to a gym or a martial arts/boxing dojo.

You need to work out a minimum of 3-4 times per week. Your workout should be so tough you can barely move by the end of it.

Do this every week!

If you haven’t lifted before, look up stronglifts 5×5.

An alternative is to join a boxing gym or some kind of mixed martial arts gym (filipino martial arts, muay thai, MMA, your choice).

Personally, I train filipino martial arts 4x per week at a minimum.

I have also done years of weight training.

Any of these options will help you in the long term to gain a beautiful body and the vitality and strength that all alpha men need to succeed in the world.

DO NOT SKIP this step.

This exercise will be life changing! Ask me how I know.

Strategy 4 – Get Shoe Lifts (If Your Height is Under 5’ 10)

Women judge you based on your height. When you’re going out to meet women, you want to make sure you have a competitive advantage.

Shoe lifts help you to gain the height that you need to be seen as an alpha male.

After the first date, it will not matter at all.

You’re just trying to get over some garbage arbitrary selection criteria made up by women.

I know it sucks that life is like this, but you’re gonna have to take it on the chin.

Life simply is how it is.

Girls like tall guys, and if shoe lifts are needed to get there, so be it.

Girls wear makeup, push-up bras and heels. Why can’t you give yourself a competitive advantage too?

No-one will care after the first date, trust me.

Strategy 5 – Get Two Nice Outfits to Wear on Your Dates

Go out with two women under the age of 30 (not your mom or your sister).

Ask them to help you pick out an outfit that looks good with your skin colour, hair colour and eye colour.

A nice, coordinated outfit will make a good impression on any dates you go on and will really help women to see you in the best light!

It’s possible you may need new shoes as well.

Rules of thumb:

1. Blue and brown go together nicely.
2. Too tight is generally better than too loose.
3. Your belt should match your shoes.
4. Your shoes should not be dirty.

Your outfit should be modern and nice! 

Strategy 6 – Pick One of the Seduction Venues and Stick With It For This Process

Pick one of these:

1. Online dating
2. Daygame
3. Night game

Ýou’re not trying to master all of these at once. Pick one and stick to it!

Personally, I do a combination of daygame and online.

I started with daygame.

Take one week and really research how this type of game is done. Buy 3 ebooks on the topic and take the best points from each one.

Develop a plan of action of exactly what you’re going to do, using the system you’ve chosen.

Personally, I believe for a beginner that daygame is the easiest, but all of them will require practice, dedication, struggle, and most importantly, dealing with rejection.

Strategy 7 – Read My Blog Post About the 4 Amazing Qualities of the Alpha Male

You need the strategies in that post internalized in order to succeed at this process.

Especially the part about outcome independence.

You need to not care if you fail with any individual woman. You’re interested in becoming the kind of man that is capable of seducing multiple women.

If you are rejected, that is ok. Take it in stride and move on.

You’re just learning and failure is part of the process.

Something else that is very important is that you should watch for oneitis.

That is the idea that you fixate on one special girl at the expense of all others.

You CANNOT do this. That will hamper your results greatly.

EVEN IF you find one girl who is incredible and amazing, you need to be committed to the process of learning how to become an effective seducer.

This means that you have to pursue other women ANYWAY.

You will experience incredible results if you are dedicated to the process and not to any individual girl.

Make this promise to yourself as well:

You will NOT get a monogamous girlfriend for 6 months of this process, no matter what happens or who you meet.

Your goal is to get good at seduction, not instantly fall into a beta relationship.

Again, dedication to the process will lead to good results.

It is EASY to get into a traditional monogamous relationship (because it’s a terrible deal for guys).

Your goal should be to do better than that!

Strategy 8 – Only Talk to Women In the Rockstar Phase (Age 18-23) or Women in the Strong Independent Phase (Age 24-29) if You’re Under 40 Years Old

Women in these phases are less likely to reject you if you’re a beginner. Thus, they are the best use of your time.

Many of these women will be pretty, and some men struggle to talk to pretty women. 

It is a good way to get your practise in.

Don’t worry about rejection, that is NORMAL.

You are NORMAL if you’re getting rejected. Again, you don’t care about 40 rejections, you care about 1 lay. 

I promise, you’re not going to be complaining when you’re sleeping with that 1 girl about the 40 that rejected you.

Strategy 9 – Dive Right In Once You’ve Finished Your Research

Practise is everything.

At the beginning, you’re going to suck.

There is a learning curve to seduction.

Don’t worry, keep going.

Men have been seducing women as long as there have been women.

You can join them, it just takes a bit of practise.

If you’re doing day/night game, you need to make 100 approaches.

If you’re doing online game, you need to send a minimum of 350 messages.

After you’ve done those approaches, you can determine what’s going well and what isn’t.

Strategy 10 – Record Your Results on a Spreadsheet

You want to find out how many approaches it takes to get laid.

Do not record kisses, makeouts, or quantity of phone numbers. 

You want to record how many approaches you have to put in before you’re getting laid.

This knowledge will help you to get incredible abundance as you realize you simply need to put in the numbers in order to succeed.

Once you have this knowledge, you’re going to get even better results.

Women will notice your obviously changed, more confident and relaxed demeanor.

Knowledge is power.

Strategy 11 – Analyze Your Initial Openers

After you’ve done 100 approaches in person or 350 online, you’re going to start noticing some patterns emerge.

Write these down.

Consider what you need to change in order for your next set to go better than your last set.

Work on that.

Track your results again, keeping in mind the changes you’ve made.

Did you do better or worse?

If you did better, keep going down that path. If you did worse, you’re going to have to change your strategy.

Strategy 12 – Repeat for 6-18 Months

You want to repeat this process of seduction, all of it (including the exercise) for 6-18 months.

It is going to be a painful process of approach, change and modification, but ultimately you’ll see success.

You are going to achieve far beyond your wildest dreams in these 6-18 months.

Probably, once this time is up, you’re going to realize that you don’t wanna stop.

In that case, congratulations, you’re one of us!

You are an alpha now, take your spot among us heroes!

Enjoy the fruits of your labour!

Conclusion

This guide is for anyone who is a beginner with women and is just beginning the process of seduction.

We start with improving our appearance.

Then, we choose one method of seduction (daygame, night game or online).

We practice, record, and modify.

We continue this process for 6-18 months in order to enjoy results.

As you can see, it is hard work, but nothing worth doing is easy.

Good luck and godspeed!

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions:

I’m Overweight, Can I Still Pick Up Chicks?!

You can, but you’ll do way worse than the same version of yourself not overweight.

Get a nicer body and watch your results soar!

There’s This One Special Girl, Who’s Not Like the Rest, Can I Date Her?

As a non-monogamous girlfriend (NMG), yes!

As a monogamous girlfriend (GF), hell no!

I’ve Finally Had Sex for the First Time, Can I Drop All This Game Bullshit?

Unfortunately, the game never ends.

You must continue honing your skills as a seducer.

Your results will improve astronomically with time!

Which is Best to Start WIth: Night Game, Day Game or Online?

Personally, I would pick daygame.

That depends on the person however.

Lots of guys have good results online!

Try all of them and see which one works best for you!

The Girls Aren’t Responding Online, What The Hell?

You’re probably just messaging “hey”.

Try this:

“You seem cool *her name* 🙂 You should message me! – *your name*”

See if that works better!

Ahh, womanese.

The bane of men since time eternal.

The old adage of “mean what you say and say what you mean” does not apply to interpreting the communication of women.

Often, women do not mean what they say.

The meaning lies hidden beneath what they say, in subcommunication.

Luckily for you, I’ve pierced the veil.

Here we go…

A Little Background Information

It’s time to explain why women have womanese in the first place.

This is all biologically driven.

Basically, since men are stronger, women had to evolve a different method of control than overpowering.

What they developed is a form of brainwashing/psychological control.

In my opinion, women are much more powerful than men.

You should see how well women spin beta men around their fingers.

Much of the world is indirectly run by women and the men are just walking around thinking they own the place.

Basically, the psychological control that women have stems from their greater social abilities. Women are much more adept at manipulating social environments to their advantage.

Controlling men boils down to control of their sex drive.

Many women control men through their desire for sex.

If you, as a man, give in to monogamy, you are easily susceptible to being controlled psychologically.

Your sex drive will indirectly control you.

This is why I prescribe non-monogamy, so that you can control your sex drive and your own actions, freeing yourself from the psychological manipulation of women and their goals for you.

Once your sex drive is strictly controlled by a women, all kinds of beta-ization will occur and you might hear some of this stuff, womanese.

Womanese is veiled speech that doesn’t mean what it appears on the surface.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

The Categories of Womanese

There are two categories that womanese can fall into:

1. Women talking about you
2. Women talking about relationships

It amazes me that women are speaking english. But not really.

Womanese really is a very powerful language, used to subtly manipulate alphas and betas alike.

Lucky for you, you have a translator!

Let’s get on with it, shall we?

Part 1 – Women Talking About You

Many men have been baffled by these words here.

Women basically use veiled communication, not realizing you have no clue what it actually means. 

Sometimes they do know what they’re doing.

That makes it even more insidious. 

Time for the translation!

Here’s what women actually mean when they say certain things to you:

What They Say	What They Mean
You’re such a nice guy!	You’re a beta loser who me and my friends would never fuck.
Don’t ever change	You’re firmly beta and weird, but I like that you’re not a sexual entity and enjoy your presence otherwise.
What would I ever do without you?	You give me such nice gifts, car rides, dinners, and other stuff I like. I’ll never fuck you though.
I love you, but I’m not in love with you	You’re such a fantastic beta I don’t ever want to lose you. You make me drier than the sahara though. No sex for you!
You NEVER do ______	You sometimes do ______, and I hate it, so I’m pointing it out in a way that will hurt you. Stop!
You ALWAYS do ______	You sometimes do ______, and I hate it, so I’m pointing it out in a way that will hurt you. Stop!
OMG, you’re such an asshole!	It kind of turns me on that you don’t do what I want when I want…
You’re insufferable!	I can’t stand that I always want to rip your clothes off.
A real man does…	A beta does…Be my beta slave, bitch!
Why won’t you do ________	Why won’t you obey my orders like every other beta bitch I know? Please start.
You’re fun	You’re in my fuckzone! Don’t ever change.
I like a guy who spoils me a little bit	I ain’t sayin’ she a golddigger. But she ain’t messing with no broke brotha. Buy me nice things, take me to nice places! I won’t fuck you if you do those things though.  I only fuck bad boys 🙂
You’re not romantic enough	You’re an alpha and I want you to treat me as a beta does while still being alpha. I’m clueless that such a man doesn’t exist.
Let’s just be friends	Never ever speak to me again. You’re such a fucking loser I can barely stand you. Leave! Or,  You can stay if you kiss my ass like a queen. I’d like that a lot.  No sex though!
I wish every guy was like you	I wish all the alphas I’ve fucked kissed my ass like you do… I’d never fuck you though.
You’re cute	You’re hot as fuck. Seduce me already!
I’ll always love you	As long as I feel EXACTLY how I’m feeling now, I’ll keep loving you. The second it changes, I’ll feel differently.
You’re a good guy, but I don’t think we should talk anymore. We have different priorities	You’re an alpha I love fucking, but right now I’m frustrated with you.  I’m going to jump on the nearest beta dick I can find, and I’ll be back when I’m bored of him.
I’m seeing someone	I’m fucking someone
He’s the best	He does everything I say and is the best beta in the world. He’s a boring lay.
He’s the worst!	He gets me wet like I’ve never been in my life.  He won’t do what I say!
I hate him!	I’m so turned on by him I hate it!
I’ll never talk to you again!	RIGHT NOW, I don’t want to talk to you. In a week, when I’ve calmed down, I’ll be back.
I want to see you be vulnerable	I want you to show weakness so that I won’t see you as an alpha anymore. Once I’ve tamed you, I’ll move on to a real alpha who could never be tamed.
My friends hate you	My friends know you’re alpha. They want you too. They’re trying to drag me down.
I don’t do that stuff	I don’t do that stuff with YOU.

As you can see, very often women don’t mean what they say.

Study that list!

Onto women talking about relationships!

Part 2 – Women Talking About Relationships

Women relationship talk is also often veiled. Let me show you what I’m talking about:

What They Say	What They Mean
He’s a great boyfriend	He’s a great beta slave. He does whatever I want!
He’s the best hubby a girl could ask for!	I’m so dry! Help me! He’s a HUGE beta.
He’s such a great guy	He’s such a good and dutiful listener. He’ll even do my laundry if I ask him to! We don’t even have to have sex!
We’re not official yet	I’m one of his friends with benefits (FWB) or non-monogamous girlfriends (NMG)
He’s great in bed	We rarely have sex (A girl who’s having a lot of sex rarely advertises it)
I’m dating this guy	I’m fucking this guy
That girl’s boyfriend is an asshole	She’s enamored with her boyfriend and they’re having lots of sex which she’s jealous of.
My boyfriend is an asshole	I’m very sexually attracted to my boyfriend, but I can’t control him
Sometimes, I hate him	Because she can’t control her boyfriend, he turns her on. The ups and downs are enjoyable too.

A lot of the womanese is just her calling the guy beta in another way, I know.

Sad, isn’t it?

The truth is, many men have no idea they’re being beta-ized by their girl. It just happens slowly, over time.

Never let a girl own all of you, sexually and you’ll prevent many of the problems in modern relationships for men.

Conclusion

Womanese is veiled speech that does not mean what it says.

It evolved as a biological form of control and aims to control men through their sex drive.

Understanding womanese will help you to know where you stand and modify your behaviours accordingly.

There are many expressions, but they boil down to alpha or beta distinctions. You want to hear the ones where she clearly sees you as an alpha.

If you do, congrats!

Good luck!

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions:

My Girl Says I’m the Best Boyfriend Ever, You’re An Asshole!

I’m the worst, you’re right.

As to what your girl is saying, watch out, another guy may just be on the horizon.

What do I do if She Tells Me That We Should Just Be Friends?

Cut her loose. You’ll do nothing good to yourself staying in that arrangement.

Unless you like your balls cut off. Then godspeed!

My Girl Keeps Mentioning This Asshole From Work, What Does That Mean?

Are you monogamous with your girl?

You may not be for much longer.

Don’t be monogamous dude.

Her Friends Hate Me, Is That Bad?

Congrats, you’re the bad boy!

Enjoy the fruits of your labour 🙂

Happy fucking!

She Says I’m Not Romantic Enough, What Do I Do?

Keep doing exactly what you’re doing. 

She wants you to be more beta.

That should be no for you 🙂

This is a deep topic.

It is related to the fundamental nature of women.

Many men have no idea this information exists.

Knowledge is power.

Once you know what women are really like, you can understand why they behave the way they do.

Once you understand that, you’ll see why many of the behaviours and strategies I teach make sense.

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

Part 1 – Hypergamy Explained

Some Background Biology

Men produce sperm. Women produce eggs.

Men produce millions of sperm per day. A woman has all the eggs she will ever have once she is born.

A man can be sexually viable until the age of 65 or 70. A woman is only reproductively viable until the age of around 42 (it depends on the individual woman).

Men impregnate. Women get pregnant.

Men are still able to function normally after impregnating a woman. A woman has a gestation period of about 9 months. 

After about 3 months, the physical changes make it such that women are no longer as mobile.

Men protect women during pregnancy. Women need to be protected (due to mobility and miscarriage issues).

This means that fundamentally, women need to choose the best protector for her when she gets pregnant. She can’t get pregnant by just anyone.

It is dangerous to a woman’s long-term survival to be impregnated by a weak man.

This is where hypergamy comes in…

What is Hypergamy?

Hypergamy is an instinctual, biological drive in women.

It states that:

A woman wants the best man. A superior alpha man.

It really is as simple as this, but it leads to some behaviours that drive men insane.

Men are not like women. Men are polygamous. They want to have as many sexual partners as possible.

Women are not polygamous. They are instinctively serially monogamous.

Serial monogamy is when a woman chooses one man to be their sexual partner, and eventual boyfriend/husband. They have children, and when the children are old enough to be self-sufficient, the woman’s attraction for the man dies on the vine.

She then leaves him and goes for a new guy, repeating the process again.

Serial monogamy lite is when women jump from serious boyfriend to serious boyfriend, leaving each one over time, and not having children with any of them, only sex.

What men tend to not understand is the cyclical nature of women’s relationship preference.

Because of serial monogamy and hypergamy, no relationship with a woman is permanent.

Women as a group tend to leave beta men who they are with monogamously after a while due to boredom.

A lot of men in the manosphere believe that women will not leave them if they are alpha. 

They believe that if they hold frame long enough and well enough, they can hold her in a monogamous relationship forever.

They cannot.

For alphas, instead of getting bored, women tend to get frustrated they can’t control them, and leave them for that reason.

They then move on to a “better” alpha they believe they can eventually control. 

If they manage to control him, he becomes beta, and she leaves due to boredom eventually. If she can’t control him, she leaves him due to frustration.

This dooms many women to a life of misery, as they keep looking for that perfect submissive alpha man that never manifests.

The truth is that there is no submissive alpha man.

You can have one, or you can have the other. NEVER both.

Key Points for Men

What an understanding of hypergamy implies is that men should be prepared to never have a permanent happy relationship with a woman, EVER.

ALL women eventually tire of monogamy and leave. 

“But Helios, what about those amazing marriages where both of the people are happy and they’ve been together for 50 years?”

Any couple can project the image of happiness for a few hours.

Watch the couple behind closed doors, away from prying eyes and see the truth.

The woman despises or simply tolerates the man once her hypergamic instinct has kicked in. 

She hates him, denies him sex, but stays with him, for the monetary benefits.

It is not a way for any man to live.

The only people who can survive a long-term monogamous relationship are two people with extremely low sex drives, who also live boring lives of near-solitude.

Does that sound like you?

Then you will NEVER have a permanent, HAPPY, monogamous relationship.

Sound sad?

It did to me at first as well.

I have some solutions, however, at least for men.

Part 2 – 3 Strategies to Make Hypergamy Work for You

Strategy 1 – Be Non-Monogamous

As I said before, it is impossible to have a long, happy, monogamous relationship.

There is a relationship strategy, however, that allows you to be long-term happy.

That strategy is non-monogamy.

Non-monogamy means that, as a man, you never commit to only one woman.

With non-monogamy, you get your sexual appetite satisfied, and when the woman who was temporarily monogamous with you tires, it has no negative sexual effect on you.

You simply let her go to another man and replace her with another woman, adding someone else to your roster.

Non-monogamy is a way of hedging your bets. You aren’t putting all your sexual eggs in one basket, and so, your happiness, which is greatly tied to the act of sex is never lowered much.

In my opinion, the minimum number of women you should have in order to have stable non-monogamy is three. 

You should have three concurrent women at any point, all of which you are having sex with.

This way, if one woman tires of you, while you’re searching for a replacement, you’re still non-monogamous.

Four women might be even safer, to prevent even the rare case of two of your women leaving you at the same time.

In my experience, two women leaving at once is quite rare (though it has happened to me).

Let me tell you why non-monogamy makes hypergamy work for you.

Non-monogamy makes hypergamy work for you because in order to have multiple women as sexual partners, a man MUST be an alpha male.

The woman practically GUARANTEES she’s with an alpha if she’s with a man who refuses to be monogamous. 

Thus, her hypergamic drive is satisfied (temporarily), but her frustration with your lack of compliance to her biological imperative will make her want to leave you eventually.

There is a silver lining:

Women who leave alphas out of frustration often boomerang back. Alphas are never boring (and are usually amazing in bed).

Strategy 2 – Be Polyamorous

Polyamory is defined as free love, basically.

Both the man and the woman are free to sleep with whoever they want, whenever they want.

You as the man, I’m sure, have a fantasy of being with multiple women while they are only with you.

I’m telling you that this fantasy only lasts for about 1 year. After a year of you refusing to be her boyfriend, she’s going to go find a boyfriend.

When she does (and she will do so easily), most men fly off the handle and scream, moan and beg for the woman to return, giving her a stern lecture.

She does return, but the respect she had for him is forever tarnished, and the alpha slowly turns into a beta (who she then leaves out of boredom).

The only solution to this beta-ization is polyamory. You let her have her boyfriend, and manage your own jealousy (the hardest part of polyamory).

She then fucks you like an animal and does all the lovey-dovey romantic things with her boyfriend (things you didn’t want to do anyway).

I know it’s hard to accept that all relationships with women are temporary, but I’m telling you that if you offer a girl polyamory, she’ll stay with you for a very long time indeed.

The key to offering non-monogamy and polyamory is to do it slowly. You don’t reveal you are this way from the first date, you let her discover this through your frame and subtle implications.

She falls under your spell, and stays for a long time.

If she does leave out of frustration, she’ll often boomerang.

Through a non-monogamous, polyamorous arrangement, you can extend what would have been a monogamous relationship with a girl for 1 year (ending in super dramatic fashion, oftentimes) into a 5 year, highly sexual, on-again, off-again relationship (that is also low drama for you)!

Sounds like a good deal, doesn’t it?

Strategy 3 – Be Non-Judgmental

Many men struggle with their judgment of women.

They believe in this concept called “madonna-whore”.

This is the idea that women fall into two categories. They’re either a virginal object of perfection (the madonna), or they’re a sinful, shameful slut (the whore).

In traditional thought, you’re supposed to marry the madonna and fuck the whore.

The problem is that traditional thought is not based on reality. No woman is a madonna or a whore. Every woman has both a sexual side and a non-sexual side.

Just because YOU didn’t see her sexual side, doesn’t mean she’s a madonna.

Just because she wears a nice dress, tall heels, and likes attention, doesn’t make her a whore.

You have to accept that women are going to be who they’re going to be.

You cannot change people or force them to be who you want them to be.

We ruin our relationships because we’re so busy fantasizing over who we want a person to be, we’re blinded to who they really are. EVEN THOUGH THEY’VE TOLD US!

When you accept a woman for who she is. She will love you and fuck you like you’ve never seen in your life. Don’t force her to be who you want her to be.

Let her be who she is and watch her soar!

Here’s how you do that:

You start a friend with benefits (FWB) arrangement or any other non-monogamous arrangement of your choice and you let them react as they like!

If they leave, cool, if they stay, cool.

No judgment!

It really is as simple as that!

When she knows she can be and do what she likes, she’ll relax. She will be comfortable around you like you’ve never seen a girl be before.

You think she won’t come back to that?

Those feelings are hard to come by. You provide them, and you provide them without judgment.

Try it, you won’t be disappointed!

Conclusion

We cannot change female hypergamy.

It would be silly to try (though religion and the institution of marriage has tried, and failed).

Hypergamy is the concept of women wanting the best man for her.

Women eventually tire of all relationships (from boredom for betas and frustration for alphas).

No relationship is permanent.

To make hypergamy work for you, you use the strategies of:

1. Non-monogamy
2. Polyamory
3. Non-judgment

Try them! I know it’s hard. You won’t be disappointed at the results, however.

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions:

She’s A 19 Year Old Virgin Who Has Slept With Only Me. She Says She Will Never Leave Me. Is She Different From the Rest ?

That she has less life experience does not make her less of a biological woman.

Does that answer your question?

I Was Sleeping With Her For 3 Months in a FWB Arrangement and She Got a Boyfriend, What the Hell?

You didn’t provide her with any beta qualities, congratulations!

This means that you don’t have to provide her with:

1. A shoulder to cry on
2. Dinner dates
3. Taxi service
4. Helping her to move out
5. Being an object for her to show off to her friends

But you can still fuck her.

Sounds like a good deal to me!

This Girl Told Me She Slept With 50 Dudes, Do I Keep Seeing Her?

Is she enjoyable to be with in bed?

Does she have a pleasant demeanor and personality?

Are you using protection?

Fantastic! Don’t judge and enjoy! You should thank those guys for giving her the experience to make you as happy as she does.

My Girl Said That She Didn’t Want to Keep Seeing Me Because We Have Different Priorities, What should I do?

DO NOT chase.

Message her in 4-6 months and resume your sexual relationship.

She needs this time to explore her beta options and realize they’re losers that don’t compare to you.

My Parents Have Been Together 45 Years, You’re Wrong About All This!

Happily together?

Is your father sexually satisfied with his relationship?

Are your parents roommates or lovers?

Are these difficult questions that you didn’t think I’d ask?

They are very likely unhappy. They still love you, just likely not each other very much anymore.

I want you to get laid.

The problem is that in order to do that you have to get over the dreaded first date.

Ever felt awkward on a first date?

Me too.

Then I learned, and I was never awkward on first dates again…

Here are some rules to follow so that you too can be suave on your first dates! 

Rule 1 – The First Date Should Only Last 1 Hour

“But Helios! She’s beautiful, and special and we’re having such a great time!”

Fantastic! That means she likes you! Now cut it short.

The reason you cut the first date short is because of this concept called ASD (anti slut defense).

Women do not want to be perceived as a slut, and so, they do not want to do anything sexual on the first date.

If you try being sexual on the first date, you’ll see that there is a lot of resistance. 

It gets very awkward and often all of the effort you spent on building rapport is broken!

Rather than force the issue, you should sidestep it.

Your goal for the first date is to establish rapport and warmth.

Here is how you do it:

1. Ask questions to lead the conversation
2. If she doesn’t like the topic, change the topic subtly
3. Do this until you hit a subject she loves
4. Keep reflecting her good feelings back at her by asking more questions about the subject she loves
5. Once the atmosphere of warmth is established, it’s time to end the date!

You should leave the date feeling like it went well. 

If you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, that’s a good sign. 

It means you established that rapport. Congrats!

Onto the next rule.

Rule 2 – Limit Your Talking

On the first date, a guy is looking to qualify a girl. He’s looking for reasons why he likes her.

Girls are the opposite. 

On first dates, women look to disqualify. They look for things they don’t like. When they find something, they quickly lose interest. 

This is especially true if they are over the age of 23, when they’re no longer in their rockstar phase (RP).

The way to reduce your chances of being disqualified is by reducing how much you talk.

Basically, during the hour that your first date lasts, the total time you as the man should talk is around 15 minutes (a quarter of the time). 

The rest should be her. You direct the conversation, she talks.

Rule 3 – Never Compliment a Woman’s Appearance

I tend to never ever compliment a woman’s appearance, even if it’s past the first date.  Generally, it’s safe to do so after you’ve slept with her twice.

On a first date, however, if you compliment her appearance, she’ll immediately put you in the provider category. No fuckzone for you!

You can compliment her on her outfit or some accessories she’s wearing. That’s different.

This is especially true if you then relate it to her trying to impress you.

For example, let’s say you like the outfit she’s wearing. You could say something like:

“I love that outfit, it’s very modern. It looks like you put a lot of thought into it.”

In this way, you’re subcomminicating that she worked hard to look good for YOU.

A strong frame, for sure.

Rule 4 – No Job Interview Questions

DO NOT ask the following:

1. What do you do for a living
2. What are your kids/parents like
3. What do you like to do for fun

If you really need to, ask them very infrequently.

Basically, we’re trying to avoid having a beta date.

This is the kind of date that loser guys go on with women, where they’re bored to tears but know you have money.

Instead, ask these:

1. What have you been up to lately?
2. Favourite food?
3. Have you been travelling lately?
4. You seem like you’re a _______ person
5. Beer or wine?

Basically, these questions will lead to her revealing cool things about herself, which you can then play off of to get that rapport you’re seeking.

Rule 5 – Do Not Lie

If she asks you a question you don’t want to answer, deflect, but don’t outright lie.

Some women in the lady phase (LP), above the age of 29 or so, will directly ask you if you’re seeing other women, or sleeping around.

You want to deflect, and not answer the question instead of lying. You’ll save yourself drama down the road, trust me.

Deflecting the question is in itself an answer. It’s just an alpha answer that preserves rapport since it’s veiled.

She will know what your answer is and understand that you’re the kind of person who is discreet about these things. That’s great for you!

Rule 6 – Do Not Discuss Any of Your Past Relationships or Sexual Experiences

If she asks, say a few sentences about it, and quickly redirect. 

Do NOT talk about your past relationships or sexual experiences on the first date!

You don’t want the awkward breaking of rapport that bringing in your past adds.

Again, our goal for the first date is to establish rapport. 

We can’t do that if we’re talking about ourselves, especially sexually.

Rule 7 – Make Her Laugh

Make jokes about the stuff she says. Don’t direct the jokes at her personally, but at situations.

When you ask her where she’s been travelling lately, for example, you can make fun of weird tourists for example.

When I say to joke, I don’t mean to neg.

She has to know you’re making a joke, and not think you’re insulting her.

Other ways to make her laugh are by talking about ridiculous things that happened to you, that are related to the things she’s talking about.

Build rapport this way and you’ll see some great results!

Rule 8 – Relax and Assume A Laid Back Posture

Before you meet the girl, if you’re nervous, take some deep breaths and try to relax. Drink water if you need to.

When you’re sitting in your chair, lean back and take up as much space as possible.

You want to give the impression that you’re lounging and comfortable.

Alphas are relaxed wherever they are, and you’re alpha, aren’t you?

When she sees that you’re relaxed, she’ll be more relaxed too. Fantastic! 

Alphas are not scared of any environment they’re in. 

You want the girl to feel like she’s entering a safe place, one you’ve made.

To help you with this, you could invite many women to the same place. 

Once you know what to expect, you’ll feel much more comfortable and relaxing should be easier. 

When you’re both relaxed and comfortable, talking about things you both enjoy, you’ve got rapport! Nice!

Rule 9 – Be Outcome Independent

Alphas are outcome independent.

This means that you don’t care about the individual outcome of the situation you’re in, you care about women as a group.

You don’t care if this date doesn’t work out. There are 100 more waiting.

You don’t chase, you replace.

When you’ve internalized the idea that no individual girl matters, but rather your ability to seduce women as a group, you’ll relax.

When you know that there are thousands of opportunities for you waiting, it isn’t hard to succeed.

Women will feel this attitude and be drawn in.

It’s powerful stuff!

Rule 10 – DO NOT Kiss on the First Date

I’m going to repeat this two more times.

Do NOT kiss on the first date.

Do NOT kiss on the first date.

Yes, even if you feel the sexual tension!

The reason is that on the first date anti-slut defense (ASD) is highest.

If you feel rapport, warmth and sexual tension on the first date, and you CUT IT SHORT before that tension is diffused, you’ll get laid on the second date FOR SURE.

If you kiss on the first date, you diffuse the sexual tension AND you increase her ASD. 

Now she’s going to feel like she’s a slut for kissing you on the first date and won’t want to see you again.

I know it’s ridiculous.

Just say no to kissing on the first date!

Do this and watch how much more you get laid…

Rule 11 – Do Not Spend Money on the First Date

I don’t mean like 10 dollars.

I mean, don’t ever go on an expensive first date. EVER.

No restaurants, no movies, no rock-climbing gyms or other “event dates”.

Your first date should be in a chill, inexpensive environment.

If you go on an expensive first date, you immediately signal you’re a beta.

You’re giving up your resources too easily.

You signal that you’re easy. It’s just all bad.

Actually, I recommend never spending money on a woman ever, but that’s just me.

Let the betas in her life splurge on her while you have the great sex he wishes he could have with her.

Rule 12 – Eye Contact

Don’t stare at her the entire time, but make good eye contact.

Look at her for a few seconds, then look away, then repeat.

Good eye contact builds intimacy and rapport!

Practice good eye contact with everyone you meet.

People will like you more in general if you have good eye contact!

Rule 13 – Smile!

You should smile.

There are some rules however to HOW you should smile.

You want the girl to be “full smiling”.

You should be half smiling. It’s a much more reserved, masculine smile.

You’re subcommunicating through this smile that you’re relaxed, confident and you’re not as into her as she is into you.

I would recommend that you train yourself to never full smile again, and instead replace it with this half smile!

It is a very important subtlety…

Rule 14 – When You Do Talk, Tell Amazing Stories

No matter what you do, you’re going to have to talk at some point during the date.

You want the things that come out of your mouth to be high value, cool things.

Think about two really cool things you do.

I know you have something. Everyone has something. 

If you don’t, then you should aim to build a life where you do have something like this.

These can be anything. 

For me, I play the guitar and practise martial arts. I’ve also travelled to many countries

Whenever a girl asks me about me, I will tell a story related to one of these topics.

You do the same.

Telling amazing stories makes a good impression, helping you with rapport. She also will want to know more about you, making it more likely she’ll want to see you in the future.

Amazing!

Rule 15 – Break the Touch Barrier

This is why I prefer walking dates.

It is very easy to touch a girl when you’re walking. 

You can lightly push her, touch her hands, shoulders, whatever.

The way that you break the touch barrier is stepwise. 

You don’t want to make her uncomfortable, so you start with places that are less personal.

Here is a list of less personal areas:

1. Shoulder
2. Upper Arm
3. Upper Back

Slightly more personal areas:

1. Hands
2. Bicep
3. Waist

I hope I don’t have to tell you the very personal areas. 

You won’t be touching those on the first date, on purpose!

Try this fun way to break the touch barrier:

When she says something ridiculous, you can lightly push her.

Something I like to do is just walk into her gently while we’re talking, pushing her off to the side. 

When done in a lighthearted way it builds rapport and is fun! You’ll feel like a kid again. 

It builds that warm fuzzy feeling. Try it and you’ll see what I’m talking about!

Rule 16 – Do Not Neg

Do not insult a girl to bring her down a peg.

In my experience it doesn’t work and only serves to piss her off.

Negging breaks rapport, which we’re trying to build!

Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by insulting the girl!

Again, on the first date our goal is to build rapport, not take her ego down.

Girls with big egos in fact, are easier to seduce. 

We don’t want to bring that down, but instead egg it on.

Rule 17 – Be 5 Minutes Late

If you scheduled the meet for 6: 30, be there at 6: 35.

If she texts you at 6: 30, saying she’s there, even if you’re there, reply back at 6: 35 with “here”.

This is important because it subcommunicates that your time is more valuable than hers.

She will feel like she’s meeting someone more important than her, and this will help you to activate her hypergamy (the thing girls have where they want a superior partner).

This is a small subtlety that will improve your odds of getting laid later.

Rule 18 – Make Her Come Find You

If you’re meeting at a mall or coffee shop or whatever, you tell her where you are and have her find you.

She’s already putting in effort to be with you when you get her to do this.

You definitely want a frame of her doing things for you or chasing you. 

This starts both of you off on the right foot!

It is a subtlety that will improve your results!

Rule 19 – Hygiene

Make sure your outfit is coordinated and your shoes are clean.

Make sure you have good posture and your breath smells good.

Core exercises improve your posture if it’s bad. So do martial arts.

Cologne helps as well.

Watch out for sweaty armpits!

To avoid the sweaty armpit thing you can shave your armpits and use antiperspirant.

We’re trying to make a good impression and build rapport. Hard to do when you’re sweaty, smelly and have bad posture.

Another thing is wearing a darker shirt. Darker shirts hide sweat better than lighter ones, especially if they’re cotton.

Rule 20 – Pay the Tab

If you meet at a coffee shop, buy the coffees for both of you.

Once again, make sure that you’re not meeting at a place that’s too expensive. 

15$ is no big deal, so you should pay.

Once again, NEVER go on an expensive date with a girl. It sends the wrong message!

Conclusion

And that’s 20 rules you can follow to do better on a first date!

Try all of them and see how much better you do 🙂

Again, keep the date to 1 hour and cut it short.

You want the girl to feel all warm and fuzzy inside by the end of this date so that she wants to meet you again.

NOTHING sexual on the first date and NO KISSING. We don’t want to spike ASD.

Build rapport then cut it short!

Good luck!

-Helios

Frequently Asked Questions:

On the Date, She’s Not Talking, What Should I Do ?

Give her one of your amazing DHV stories! Watch her light up as you dazzle her with how cool you are! 

Once you’ve told a story like that, she’s bound to pitch in 🙂

She Was 20 Minutes Late, Do I Leave?

Some women are terrible planners that are often late. 

If she texts you, apologizing for being late, there’s no problem. Continue the date as planned.

If she doesn’t apologize for being late, leave!

The message you communicate is that you’re an alpha whose time is important. She may even chase in response to you leaving because she was late.

Message her the next day like nothing happened and pitch the date for 1-3 days from when she was late.

Watch as she’s incredibly punctual the next date!

I’m Really Awkward About Touching Women, How Do I Do It?

Unfortunately, you’re going to have to go through that awkwardness to get to the other side.

Women don’t like sleeping with awkward men.

In general, you want to start with areas that are not very personal. An area you would touch on one of your guy friends (Back, shoulder, upper arm, fist).

Should I Smile from Ear to Ear the Whole Date?

Of course not!

You need a subtle half smile!

Practice.

If you’re having a good time, you can hold this subtle half smile for most of the date! 

Don’t be smiling from ear to ear though!

She Wants to Kiss Me at the End of the Date, Should I Let Her?

NO! 

No kissing on the first date! Even if she wants to.

Her wanting to kiss you on the first date is a very good sign though.

It means you’re very likely to get laid on the second. If you don’t kiss her that is.

You walk into a room and you notice a man standing in the centre. He is well dressed and tall. His broad shoulders are impossible to hide. 

He speaks with confidence and the crowd near him hangs on his every word. He effortlessly commands attention and respect through his mere presence. He bows to no one.

This is the Alpha Male. 

Or should I say Chad? 

Men want to be him and women want to be with him.

But what are the elusive qualities that Alpha Males possess?

Can you get them?

Here’s something people don’t tell you:

Alphas are made, not born.

Embody the qualities of an alpha, and congratulations, nothing more is required in order to sleep with as many women as you like.

You will, however, need some relationship management to reduce potential drama.

Here they are…

The 4 Qualities that Alphas Possess

1. Physical Attractiveness
2. Game
3. Outcome Independence
4. Confidence

Every man has each of these qualities to some degree, but they are not as well developed as they are in the traditional alpha male.

Your job is to build each of these qualities in yourself so that you too may join the elusive top 20% of masculinity.

Let’s talk a little about each one, shall we?

1. Physical Attractiveness

All alpha males are at least somewhat physically attractive. Usually they are tall, but not always.

I will not lie to you, if you are under 5’10 as a male in any western country, you are going to struggle with height. 

You are going to have to work even harder than a taller man to have the results they have. 

Life is unfair, deal with it!

Physical attractiveness is extremely important to any seducer, and if you want to embody the qualities of an alpha male, it is an absolute necessity for you to work on your physical attractiveness.

Here are some things to work on:

1. Clothing choice and style: 

You should be well dressed at all times, and have a suitable style for your height and build. 

Pick a style and stick with it. 

Many blogs on pinterest have amazing pictures of styles you can go for. 

Try any of those that you think may suit you.

2. Muscle mass: 

You must have above average muscle mass for your country. This means that you need to beat out at least 80% of the male population in your country. 

To do this is relatively simple, but not easy. It requires constant effort in the gym, or in a martial arts/boxing dojo of your choice. 

Luckily for you, the western world is in a state of decay and most men are trash. They are easily beaten if you put in the effort. 

It needs to be constant effort, however, and heavy. 

I would recommend at least 4x per week. If you have never lifted weights before, try stronglifts 5×5. 

The compound exercises there will help you make gains very quickly and you’ll see improvement and results within a few months. 

You should either lift weights or train martial arts a minimum of 4 times per week. It should be so intense that you can barely move when you’re done.

3. Fighting ability: 

I believe that every alpha male should know how to fight. 

This means that you need to train in some sort of martial art. 

The confidence this will give you is enormous, and will change your life in incredible ways (it did for me). 

Try muay thai, filipino martial arts, traditional western boxing, brazilian jiu jitsu or greco roman wrestling. 

I would also put rugby in the martial arts category, even though it is a “sport”. 

Personally, I did and still do filipino martial arts. 

You should either lift weights or train martial arts a minimum of 4 times per week. 

It should be so intense that you can barely move when you’re done. You need to join a good class/gym to get this in the case of martial arts.

4. Grooming: 

Don’t try to grow facial hair you don’t have. 

Clean up your beard and hair. Use products depending on your hair type. 

If you are balding, shave your head. Jason Statham is extremely attractive and he’s balding..

5. Smell: 

Buy cologne that works with your sweat. 

Try a few different kinds and see how women react to your smell. 

If you get complimented by the women you want to and actually are sleeping with, it’s a good sign.

6. Controlling your food consumption and its quality: 

Want to be an effective seducer well into middle or even old age? 

The only way to do that is with both constant exercise and good nutrition. 

You don’t want to be dying preemptively just because you couldn’t control the crap you were putting in your mouth.

Believe me when I tell you that if you do all of the things in the attractiveness category, you’re going to get laid like you wouldn’t believe with very little effort (though you still need game).

2. Game:

Physical attractiveness gets your foot in the door. Game slams it open, throws the woman on the bed, and makes her body contort in ecstasy.

Game is the essence of seduction.

Game is water in the desert. 

Many of you struggle now. 

Know this: once you know game, you will struggle far less. 

It is almost impossible to describe how much less the struggle is once you understand game.

Game is the ability to know women so well, that you act instinctively and confidently in a manner that leads to you sex. 

Your actions are based on your knowledge and experience of womankind. With game, you know how women work and women will tell you that you “just get it”.

Game involves four key things:

1. Speaking girl/womanese (or at least understanding it): 

Many women speak in such a way as to be evasive. 

Their true motives and motivations are almost always hidden. 

They speak to gain power, and hide from attack. 

Sound different from the way men speak? You bet! 

A good rule of thumb is to always add “right now” to what a woman is saying. 

Also, you should watch their actions and not their words. 

Many women will say that they want one thing, only to act in a completely contrary way later. 

Their actions are the only reliable indicator of anything. Explaining this in more detail will require an entire post.

2. Frame: 

Your frame is the way you see the world. You are to hold this no matter what anyone says or does to attack it. 

Many women will purposely attack your worldview just to see if it crumbles. 

If it does, you’re gone. 

You’re not an alpha if your worldview can be easily swayed by some little words. 

A good frame to have is one of non-judgment. You don’t care if a girl has a large sexual past, or if she wants to sleep with multiple men. 

Another good frame is a non-needy, sexual frame. 

This means that you acnowledge that you are an intensely sexual being, but you don’t need sex from any individual girl. 

You don’t break frame even if she leaves you. 

Some women will leave you just to see if you chase. 

If you chase, they never come back. Fucked up, huh?

3. Passing shit tests: 

Many women will purposely try and get you off balance with their words or their actions, just to see how you react. 

If you ever become needy, chase, or show needless anger, you’re gone. 

An alpha doesn’t get swayed by dumb bullshit. 

When you aren’t swayed, attraction increases.

4. Sexual ability/sexual confidence: 

Once you actually have a girl in a one-on-one situation and you’re isolated because of your excellent logistics, can you seal the deal with confidence? 

Can you fuck the girl like it’s your last day on Earth? 

Do you make her cum every time you have sex? 

Obviously, women will keep coming back for more if they enjoy you sexually, double that if you’re also attractive on top of being sexually capable. 

That’s the stuff dreams are made of!

Game is probably the most important skill on this list. 

If you don’t meet women’s benchmark for physical attractiveness, however, you’ll never get the chance to use it. 

Keep that in mind.

3. Outcome Independence

Outcome independence is not giving a damn one way or another. 

Outcome independence means you embody this idea:

“If there is one, there is more than one”

This means that you don’t care about being rejected by that one girl. 

You know there are a hundred more around the corner. 

You don’t care if one of your FWB’s stops seeing you, you have two more waiting in the wings.

You understand that all relationships are temporary and you don’t try to force someone to stay with you. 

You have such a full and busy life that it doesn’t matter really what happens with that one girl or that one situation.

You have the skillset to get more and you don’t worry about the loss of any individual. When you have outcome independence mastered, you have an aura about you that is irresistible.

No individual can shake you and no person can control you. You are truly free when you have true outcome independence.

When you are truly outcome independent, women will flock to you like moths to a flame. 

They will not understand why they’re so attracted, even though you don’t do everything they want. 

Sometimes, your actions even hurt them emotionally, since you aren’t kissing their ass every second.

But they return. And you don’t care when they return, or even if they return, since you have options.

Options are power.

4. Confidence

What do all women say they want? A confident man. 

This one is an actual truism, somehow, even though many women say it (a lot of things that some women say are in fact deliberate lies)

Ultimately, if you don’t believe in yourself, no one will.

Confidence is believing in yourself. You must truly believe, with all your heart that you are a strong, powerful man.

Don’t believe it? 

Try doing all the things above, and see how you feel about yourself. 

Personally, once I started developing every aspect of myself and seeing how much better I became than the NPCs around me, confidence, even arrogance, was easy.

You are fully capable of achieving all of these things. It is not done for free though. 

These things take work, effort, dedication, struggle and grit. 

Even attempting to improve one of these categories will make you more of an alpha, as you struggle through the reality of the difficulties of life.

Confidence and determination to succeed are incredibly important in our life. 

Life is hard, but you must be determined to succeed regardless. Persevere and success will come.

You can display confidence by being the best version of yourself and holding true to that even if people try to tear you down. 

Making jokes when people try to tear you down is also a display of confidence.

As you begin your journey of improvement, the crabs-in-a-bucket types around you will try to pull you down. 

When you hold frame in the face of this, you are a confident man indeed!

Takeaways

Remember the 4 qualities of an alpha male!

1. Physical Attractiveness
2. Game
3. Outcome Independence
4. Confidence

Work on yourself to embody those qualities as best you can! 

Success is inevitable if you have these qualities.

Work hard!

-Helios